Abyssinia
by thegoblinjester
Summary: In an old theater in New York, all covered in vines... there lives a young boy named Feliciano. Outside of his home is a world of vampires, werewolves, magic, character death, GerIta, DenNor, HongIce, PruCan, LietPol, SuFin IggyChu, Spamano, and other assorted pairings. Written like a game... a very awesome game.
1. NYC

**-Choose a game mode-**

**Easy ==**

**Medium ==**

**Hard ==**

**Expert ==**

**To the death ==**

**To the pain ==**

You have selected **To the pain**.

May the force be with you.

* * *

The year is 1933. Vampires are now the dominant species. Witches work with them as secretaries and assistants. Zombies and werewolves roam the streets, preying off whatever they can find.

Of course, you are aware of none of this.

_I'm not? But... you just said..._

Quiet, child. I was merely informing the audience of the universe in which this story takes place. It would do you well to ignore me, unless I am speaking directly to you.

_Oh, alright!_

What an airhead.

Choose a name, then.

**Mario ==**

**Feliciano ==**

**Bort ==**

Your name is Feliciano Vargas, and you have never met your parents. You know you have a grandfather somewhere in Italy, but you haven't seen him in years. He sent you to America when the vampires in Florence became too much to deal with. You and your brother miss him very much.

_I have a brother?_

You do now.

You and Lovino have been living in an abandoned theater with some other abandoned boys. The leader of the group is Mathias Kohler, from Denmark, though it sometimes seems that Lukas Bondevik, from Norway, is the true head of the operation.

You and Lovino are both thirteen, and look quite a bit alike. However, his hair is darker and the stray curls of hair you each have point in opposite directions. You are a cheerful, optimistic boy with a heart of gold. Your brother, on the other hand, is grumpy and mean and likes to keep to himself. The one trait the two of you share is cowardice.

Neither of you are aware of the reason why you can never leave the theater. As far as the two of you know, you're merely street urchins trying to avoid the law. The only ones who ever leave are Mathias and a Swedish boy named Berwald. They bring back food and other necessities.

Though he doesn't like to admit it, you can tell that Lukas worries about Mathias whenever he goes out. Before the Dane leaves, the Norwegian teen is always especially harsh to him, and when he gets back Lukas is always just a bit nicer. You don't understand it, but you think it's sweet.

Berwald scares the fuck out of you, but you also think he's kind of lonely. You're sure that, under his intimidating exterior, he's really a sweet guy. Lovino doesn't trust him, but Lovino doesn't trust anybody.

You're pretty happy in the theater. You've got friends, paper and pencils, a stage... the only thing you don't like is eating three-day-old sandwiches and hot dogs. Still, you're grateful for whatever Mathias and Berwald can bring you. One day, Mathias had brought in a kitten! You loved that little kitty, though one day it just disappeared and you were heartbroken for about a week.

Unlike you, Lovino wants nothing more than to get out of there. You, however, want to wait until your parents come looking for you. As your grandfather taught you, "if you get lost, stay put and I'll find you."

Mathias and Lukas both say that you can go out and explore when you turn eighteen. You're perfectly content to wait, but Lovino has other plans.

Today, he comes over to you and says that he's planning to sneak out, and he wants you to come with him.

What do you do?

**Come with him ==**

**Stay here ==**

Whoops, it looks like you don't have a choice. He's dragging you along no matter what. You suspect it's because he's scared to be alone, though he firmly denies it. When you're both sure that everybody else is busy or asleep, you gather supplies.

What do you bring?

Choose two:

**A. Flashlight**

**B. Gun**

**C. Sandwich**

**D. Mochi**

**E. Broken Plate**

You have selected **Flashlight** and **Mochi.** Lovino facepalms at your selections and grabs the **Gun** and the **Sandwich.**

It's obvious who's the brains in this duo.

_It's-a me, right?_

Can it, Mario.

Don't ask me why you underage boys have a gun lying around.

I'd blame parents except you haven't got 'em.

Ha.

Anyway, you two sneak out with little to no difficulty. Emil is still asleep and god knows what Lukas and Mathias are doing.

The first thing you two notice is the lack of excitement. New York might as well be a ghost town.

And then you see the ghosts.

What do you do?

**Run ==**

**Say hi ==**

**Call Ghostbusters ==**

It was a trick question. You boys don't know what ghosts are. Lukas and Mathias sure did a great job of preparing you for the outside world! As far as you know, these ghosts are just really pale people.

"Ever heard of a little thing called sunlight?" Lovino mutters grumpily, though you can see the intrigue in his eyes.

"We don't get much sun, either!" you remind him. The only reason you're distinguishable from the ghosts is because of your natural exotic Italian-ness.

A ghost drifts up to you. Back in its prime, it must have been a very pretty Asian woman, but now it's deader than dead and kinda gross.

What do you say to her?

"**Ciao, bella!" ==**

"**It's a lovely day out, isn't it?" ==**

"**How the heck are you floating five inches above the ground?" ==**

"Ciao, bella!" you say cheerfully. Although Lovino looks like he doesn't trust her, he gives a feeble smile nonetheless. She stares are you, then glides away.

"Rude bitch." Lovino grumbles, pulling you along.

You two are in awe at the place that, in another universe, might have been a bustling metropolis. Over there is a hot dog stand, and that might have been a library. Was that a park? Who knows. You and Lovino have to shield your eyes from the light, as the two of you really don't get out much.

And then it hits you.

You're outside.

Free, essentially.

You exchange a glance with Lovino, and he grins and lets out a whoop. You laugh happily. Why were Lukas, Mathias and Berwald keeping such a wonderful place from you? It's so open and bright and-

What the fuck is that?

As you and your brother have been sheltered all your lives, you have no idea what a zombie is, or why it's scary.

The corpse staggers along the sidewalk, dragging a barely-attached leg behind it. One of its eyes is missing, and its jaw is unhinged and dangling. When the smell of rotting flesh hits you, you and your brother take a wary step back.

"Wh-who the hell are you?" Lovino demands.

The zombie doesn't respond verbally. It prefers instead to fumble closer, sniffing at the scent of warm flesh. It makes a low grunting noise, and you and Lovino feel quite unsettled.

"Er, fratello, let's go back..." you say quietly.

"Fuck no." he tells you. "If we're gonna get in trouble for this, we're gonna make it worthwhile."

You pale. You had no idea that this was something that could get you in trouble! Lukas is scary when mad! Berwald and Mathias are, too, but nowhere near as much as Lukas!

The zombie wanders closer, and by now you can tell that it's quite hungry.

"Uh, we don't have any food, mister!" you tell it. You want to keep the sandwich and mochi for yourself. It keeps coming.

Suddenly, there are more of them.

"Feli, just keep backing up..." Lovino whispers. "It doesn't look like they're that fast. We can outrun them. Keep moving, Feli."

And then the first one lunges.

It's unfortunate that Lovi's never used a gun before, because now it's useless baggage. He tosses it aside as the corpse grabs his arm.

"Lovino!" you yell.

"Run!" he tells you.

What do you do?

**Fight the zombie ==**

**Watch helplessly ==**

**Run like heck ==**

You run like heck.

Coward.

_I know!_

You left your brother.

_I know!_

He could be dying.

_Shut up!_

You're crying now. You don't know where you're going or what to do next. All you know is that you need to be far away from those decaying creatures.

Ooh, a fork in the road. Left or right, Feli?

**Left ==**

**Right ==**

You go right. Heh, dumb choice.

_Stop criticizing me!_

I'm the narrator. I do what I want.

You wind up in an old park. Of course, you can't recognize it as a park, because you don't often go outside, but it's a park whether or not you think it is.

Here you fall in a crumpled heap and continue sobbing. As I said, MAN UP.

What you don't notice is the wolf, prowling in the shadows.

He is a large white wolf, with bright red eyes and an evil grin.

You don't see him because you've been distracted by the adorable little bird sitting on the ground in front of you. Seriously, this thing is too cute for words. You need to hug it.

Go on, hug it.

**Hug it ==**

The bird narrowly avoids your eager grasp. With a flutter, it lands on the wolf's head.

You notice the wolf.

I'm not even giving you options this time, because I know you're just gonna sit there and panic.

But... it _could_ be a friendly dog, couldn't it?

"Hey, doggy..." you say, trying to keep your voice from trembling. Dogs can sense fear, right? "You're a good dog, right?"

The wolf laughs.

_Laughs._

"You're a dumb little kid!" it says. "Silly little sissy boy! I'm not even gonna _bother_ turning you! I think I'll just eat you and spare myself the trouble!"

Do dogs normally talk? You wouldn't know, as you've never seen a dog in real life before.

"P-p-please don't eat me!" you exclaim. "I'm just a scrawny little kid! I don't have much meat on my bones!"

"I'll take whatever food I can get." the wolf growls. You're practically wetting yourself by this point.

"No, don't! I've gotta find my brother!" you say. "I'm just a lowly little street urchin and I have my whole life ahead of me and I'm much too salty and I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

The wolf's grin grows wider, and it's getting much too close for comfort.

"I'll kill you nice and fast, alright?" it says in a teasing tone. "It'll only hurt for a second! Well, it'll _feel_ like an eternity of pain, but in reality it'll only be a second."

The wolf is pretty much on top of you now.

**Accept your fate ==**

**Fight back ==**

**Sink to a new level of pathetic ==**

**Sing ==**

Options two and three are pretty much impossible, as you've gone as low as you can go, so you accept your fate. You're still sobbing and shaking, though.

"Italian food, my _favorite!_" the wolf snarls.

And then, all of a sudden, it's no longer on top of you.

When you sit up, you find that another wolf has pounced the first one, knocking it aside. The new arrival is dark gray, with piercing blue eyes that will haunt your soul for years to come.

"Bruder!" the albino wolf exclaims. "What are you doing?"

The darker one does not answer him. Instead, it turns to you.

"Are you alright?" it asks in a deep voice.

You manage to nod.

"Good. Get back to where you came from, human. This world isn't suited for you."

You don't need telling twice.

As you scamper away, you hear the white wolf whining about the other ruining his dinner.

You are totally lost. Luckily, the boys had noticed your absence. It's Berwald who finds you, and you feel a lot safer now that he's around.

"C'me on, 'm takin' y' home." he says, in a voice that tells you that you are in a whole mess of trouble.

"But my brother's still out here!" you cry. "We've gotta find him! He could be in danger!"

Berwald remains silent as he pulls you back to the theater.

You yell and cry and moan, but he still won't take you back to find Lovino. Finally, he says something mildly assuring.

"Mathias 's looking f'r him."

You guess that's OK. Mathias is pretty strong, you suppose. Lovino and Berwald don't like him, but he has a good heart.

When you arrive at the theater, Lukas gives you the biggest surprise of the day as he pulls you into a hug.

"I was worried." he says in that plain tone he always has.

"Mathias will be jealous if you give me a hug and not him." you tell the Norwegian.

"Mathias can go and jump in a lake." Lukas tells you. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Why didn't you tell us about those monsters?" you ask. "It's seems pretty important to know!"

Lukas sighs.

"I suppose we wanted to keep you innocent for as long as we could... guess I screwed up there. Don't tell Mathias I said that, though. As far as he knows, I can do no wrong."

You wait for three hours before Mathias comes back without Lovino and you start to worry even more about your brother.

Three hours turns into three days.

Then three weeks.

And then three months.

Eventually, you just have to accept that Lovino is dead. You still cling to the hope that he could be alive, somewhere, but it's highly unlikely.

Lukas tells you all about the world outside. About the vampires and werewolves and witches and zombies and ghosts, and the scattered and few colonies of humans littered across the world. You tell him about the werewolf who saved you. Lukas suggests that you were hallucinating at the time. Still, you are quite grateful for your savior.

* * *

**Ah, my dear, long-awaited Abyssinia.**

**Hopefully, each chapter will be titled with a song. Not necessarily whatever song I'm listening to at the moment, but the song that fits the mood/events of the chapter. This first chapter is "N.Y.C" from Annie, mainly because of the Halloween version of Annie I starred in.**

**For those of you wondering, this won't be anything like the Bitten universe. It's darker with more adventure and plot and the creature rolls are a bit different.**

**Were creatures in this fanfic are basically animaguses. They can turn into an animal whenever they want.**

**Some of this might work like Warm Bodies.**


	2. Making Good

**Five years later ====**

Emil is gone. Taken by a strange sickness that came from spending too much time trapped indoors. Lukas blames himself. The rest of you assure him that he was merely trying to keep the Icelandic boy safe, but he'll hear none of that.

Lukas seems to have adopted you as his new little brother, and you suppose you're alright with that. You admire his calmness and intelligence, but he lacks the fiery spirit of Lovino.

Mathias seems to be the only thing that makes Lukas happy anymore. Not _visibly_ happy, but you can always tell when he's trying to hide a smile. You rather like Mathias; he's energetic and brave and cheerful and he never lets anything get him down.

Berwald is even quieter than before. You suspect that he's envious of Mathias's and Lukas's relationship. You now feel that it is your duty to find Berwald someone to be with.

The other boys have already set off into the world, looking for the other colonies, and possibly women. You and the Scandinavian guys are all that remain.

You have been training to survive, now. You're getting a bit better at shooting, and no one can beat you at retreating. You're great at treating wounds and terrible at rationing food properly. You're learning about what weaknesses vampires have, and how to procure silver bullets.

You still wonder about that gray werewolf, from time to time.

Why did he save you? He must have been at least as hungry as the white one! What makes you so special? He didn't even know you! (Yes, you're positive that your hero was male.)

More than anything, however, you miss your brother. Even though he was kind of an asshole, he was everything you ever had.

Now, on your eighteenth birthday, Mathias has managed to snatch a freshly-baked cake. You don't ask how; you're just grateful for the present.

**Say thank you like a good boy ==**

"Grazie, Mathias!" you say with a smile. He beams.

"Anything for our little Italian!" he laughs.

"I thought it was 'anything for Lukas!'" you laugh.

"He's taught you well, Feli!" the Dane chuckles.

The cake is delicious, and not a lie. Over dinner, Lukas brings up a subject that had been pressing on his mind recently.

"So, Feli, where are you thinking of going?"

You stare at him in confusion.

"Going?"

"You're eighteen now." Lukas says. "It's kind of tradition to go seek other colonies at eighteen."

"But you're twenty, and Mathias and Berwald are both twenty-one!" you say.

"We've stuck together so long, I don't think any of us are going anywhere." Lukas tells you.

"I'm not going anywhere, either!" you insist. "The world is too scary to be on one's own! You guys are all I have left!"

Lukas studies you.

"It's fine if you want to stay here, but we need as many people as possible searching for the cure... you know, the cure for zombie-ness."

"I think I'd be of more use as a medic, _helping_ the people who are looking for the cure." you say thoughtfully. "I'm not strong or brave or clever, but I can bind a wound! I think we should leave the adventuring for the adventurers."

"Yeah!" Mathias agrees. "Adventurers like me!"

Lukas nods.

"I suppose you're right. However, you'll notice that none of us have gotten injured in a long while, and frankly, you need to start earning your keep. You're an adult now, you know." he says. "We just want to make sure you know how to take care of yourself, should anything happen to separate us..."

"I understand." you say. You know how important keeping fed and sheltered is in this world. "What do you suggest I do?"

"You're quite fast; I think you should join Mathias the next time he goes to look for food." he tells you. "You're also good at figuring out what things go best together, and you seem to be able to make something good out of anything. Do you have any objections to this?"

Your eyes have gone wide. You haven't been outside since that fateful day when you lost your brother.

Speak now or forever hold thine peace.

**Agree to go on scavenging expedition ==**

**Fuck if you're going anywhere! Adamantly say no ==**

**Make some feeble excuse and back out of it ==**

"I guess I'll go..." you say. Mathias grins.

"Great! Don't worry, I won't let anything eat you!" he promises. "We'll be heading out the day after tomorrow, alright?"

So soon?

"Alright." you say.

You spend the next day in a mess of worry. Berwald and Mathias try to prep you, and you do your best to listen to what they're saying, but you're too overcome by nerves to let it sink in.

Maybe you should find yourself a partner, like Mathias and Lukas. Berwald is out of the question; he scares the hell out of you! You need someone strong, but not scary. Someone smart and level-headed who won't let you get killed violently.

While you're at it, you think you should find Berwald a partner, too. He needs, in your opinion, someone sweet and cheerful, but not likely to run away when he looks at them. Someone Berwald can protect, but can hold their own in a fight.

Tomorrow comes before you know it. You and Mathias are going to wait for evening to fall, so you two can blend in with whatever horrors of the night you find if needed in the dark. You'd rather do this in the daytime, when you're safe from vampires, but everyone assures you that the monsters won't be expecting humans to come out at night.

You spend the whole day freaking out. You're positive that you won't be able to shoot a gun straight, thanks to your shaking hands. You long to be useful on this mission, but you place survival higher than pride on your priority list.

**Back out, you still have time ==**

**Be brave, for once in your life ==  
Faint ==**

You must be brave, whether you like it or not. Unless you can help with food, you're pretty much useless to the party. Mathias and Berwald are both good fighters, and Lukas is a great strategist and leader. All you can do is run and make food.

You can also sing and paint, but those aren't very useful in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

The evening takes its sweet time in getting here, allowing you to stew in your own nerves for much longer than you'd like. Mathias hands you a gun and some other supplies. You wish you could have some garlic, but it's run out, and the purpose of this mission is primarily to find more. You regret making garlic bread last night...

"Be careful." Lukas tells you. "You too," he adds, turning to Mathias, "look after yourself and make sure Feliciano gets back in one piece."

"Can do!" the Dane says, saluting. He attempts to give Lukas a quick peck on the cheek and then heads out to make sure the coast is clear. Lukas turns to you.

"Mathias is strong, but not that bright. Keep him from doing anything reckless, alright?" he asks. You nod.

"Be s'fe." Berwald says.

You nod again, too anxious to speak.

"Remember, vampires won't be harmed by bullets. It's imperative that you hold off any confrontations until you find some garlic." Lukas says. "Mathias knows this, but he'll probably think he could take on any number of vampires without the aid of vegetation. Don't let him fight until you get some garlic.

"Should you fail to retrieve any garlic, get back here immediately. You should find no difficulty in that. The most important thing is to stay alive."

You nod again, and then run to join Mathias, who has whistled to signal that everything seems fine.

"Half moon tonight." he whispers, starting at a brisk pace. You scramble to keep up with him. "Not as bright as we'd like, but flashlights will give us away. We're gonna start with the old farm up a ways; it still had some stuff growing, last time I checked."

"Alright." you reply in a soft voice.

"Just do as I say, and you should be safe." he says, still whispering but smiling all the while.

"Can do." you reply, trying to sound calmer than you feel.

You two walk in silence for a ways, and then Mathias, deeming the surrounding environment safe, starts up a conversation.

"Do... d'ya think Lukas likes me?" he asked quietly.

"'Course he does!" you whisper in reply. "You two are partners, right? If he didn't like you, he wouldn't team up with you!"

"I meant... do you think he could possibly like me... in a romantic way?"

Oh, _now_ you get it.

"You mean you two _aren't _together?" you ask. "I mean, I kinda figured..."

Mathias chuckles.

"I wish. He always avoids talking about that kind of thing."

Talking about something as trivial as this is helping you be less afraid.

"I think he's afraid that he could lose you... remember how he was after what happened to Emil? He's probably just scared to open up his heart and risk getting it broken."

"Really?" Mathias asks. "Wow, when did you become a relationship expert?"

"I read some of those romance novels Lovi didn't like having around." you say. You'd think you wouldn't want to talk about your brother, but it really doesn't bother you. "Plus, I'm Italian! We're naturals!"

"Hey, I'm Danish!" Mathias says indignantly. "I should be a natural, too!"

"Was Denmark ever referred to as 'the country of romance'?" you ask.

"I thought that was France..." Mathias replies.

"We're getting off subject." you say, laughing. "The question is, do _you_ like Lukas?"

"I love him." Mathias replies. "I have for a while, now. I think he knows it, too. I wish he'd just give me a chance..."

"Hang in there," you say, patting his arm, "though this whole apocalypse thing makes it tough, love will find a way."

You two continue chatting on the way to the farm, all caution forgotten.

Honestly, you two are such idiots!

The two of you are halfway past what used to be a pub when it happens.

Strong hands grab you, putting a gloved hand over your mouth.

What do you do?

**Panic ==**

**Kick your captor where it counts ==**

**Shoot your captor where it counts ==**

**Faint ==**

You panic, of course. Muffled grunts off to the side tell you that Mathias has been grabbed, too. You struggle as much as you can, but the hands are much too strong.

"It would be in your best interest to surrender, da?" a cold, cruel voice says, directly from behind you. "My sisters and I are quite thirsty, and struggling will only make us thirstier."

"Brother, this one bit me!" a female voice says from off to the side. "May I return the favor?"

"Let our sister have him." the male voice replies. "You got to have that noisy American all to yourself, remember?"

Your heart sinks. Alfred had been one of the boys living with you, and he mysteriously disappeared one day. You're fairly certain that he was the American they're talking about, even though there are a lot of Americans in America.

"I shall give him to her if you promise to marry me." the female says stiffly.

"I... am not ready for that kind of commitment." the male says, and is that a hint of fear in his voice? "You can marry Toris, if you'd like. I'm sure he wouldn't object."

The vampires are dragging you inside the pub whilst carrying out their discussion. The amount of terrified you are is phenomenal.  
"I shall marry that pitiful excuse for a vampire when hell freezes over." the girl says coldly.

They continue arguing, though neither of them are distracted enough to loosen their grip. And then suddenly, a new voice joins the foray.

"Ivan, didn't you promise me the next Joe you brought in?" the newcomer asks conversationally.

"Maybe." the vampire holding you says. "But I feel that this one is more rightfully mine. I'm sure there are more where this one came from; go find one for yourself."

Your heart skips a beat. What if this new vampire goes after Lukas and Berwald?

"Do not forget yourself, mosquito." the newcomer says, an eerie chill entering his voice. "Do you remember the last time you went against me?"

Ivan shudders.

"Very well. You may have him." he says, releasing you. For a brief moment, you can see everything clearly, but then the new vampire takes hold of you. He's smaller than the first, but just as strong.

"Don't you try to take _my_ meal!" the female hisses. "I owe you nothing, Tino. Take the puny one and leave."

"Very well, Natalya, but I don't think he appreciates being called puny." Tino replies, pulling you away. You feel tears running down your face, knowing that this is the end for both you and Mathias. Lukas and Berwald will worry when the two of you never come back!

After a minute or two, you can feel fresh air on your face, and the vampire releases you. You're too freaked out to find this unusual.

"Please make it quick." you say, your voice trembling. "I don't want to die too painfully."

The vampire laughs.

"I'm not going to drain you!" he exclaims. You're too shocked to do anything. "I'm not even hungry! We've all eaten recently, and I thought that it would be a waste for them to eat you, if it won't do them any good."

You're now certain that this is some cruel joke that Tino is playing before he eats you. However, he doesn't _look_ like he's about to drink your blood. He's about your height, with soft blond hair and brown, doe-like eyes.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he says, "but they don't like it when I set their food free."

"Wh-wh-what about Mathias?" you ask.

"The spiky-haired man?" Tino asks. You nod. "Was he a friend of yours? Again, I'm sorry. I only had the option to save _one_ of you, and Ivan was the one who owed me a human."

You're crying again. In fact, you haven't ever stopped in the first place.

"He protected me and kept me fed all my life and Lukas is going to hate me for coming back without him and oh god, they never even got to be together and it's all my fault for coming on this mission because if I wasn't here you could have rescued him and now Lukas doesn't have a partner and now I'm all alone with a vampire and I'm basically a walking steak now, aren't I?" you say all this really fast, it just sort of tumbles from you.

Tino walks over and gives you a hug. You tense up, but then realize that it doesn't matter if he's going to eat you or not because Mathias is already dead.

"I wish I wasn't what I am." Tino sighs. "I wish we could all just... you know, not eat each other. All I ever wanted in life was to settle down and have a kid and a dog and someone to keep me warm. I also wished I could have saved your friend. He sounds like he was a great guy."

"He was." you say as the vampire releases you. The hug felt surprisingly good. "He and my brother have both died for me now."

"Don't blame yourself. Ivan and Natalya are at fault for taking more than they need." Tino tells you. "They try not to let the human population fall _too_ hard, or else they would starve, but they think that it should all be for them."

"Why do you live with them?"

"Someone needs to keep them from taking more than their fair share." the blond says. "And though I don't look it, I'm quite a bit stronger than the both of them. I _would_ have overpowered Natalya, but I really can't have them thinking that I'm a human sympathizer. It's easier for me to help people if I'm incognito."

"That's really good of you." you say.

"Thanks! We should probably get you home, though. The streets are dangerous for humans." Tino says.

"I... I don't want this to be a trip for biscuits." you admit. "If I'm going back without Mathias, the least I can do is bring food."

Tino gives you a knowing smile.

"I know _just_ what to do."

He leads you first to a farm, where he has you take whatever garlic you can find, and then he breaks into an abandoned house and brings you some cans of food that are still good. You thank him profusely, and he waves it off.

"Anything I can do to even the odds." he says.

The two of you walk back to the abandoned theater. Despite the loss of Mathias, Tino manages to make you laugh and joke with him. You two talk about all sorts of things, and become fast friends.

When you arrive at the door that once led backstage, Lukas swings it open before you can lay a hand on the doorknob.

"Thank goodness you're-" he stops dead in his tracks, staring at Tino. Berwald, who was probably the one who heard you coming, joins Lukas at the door. He's holding a cross.

"Uh..." you don't know what to say.

"**Hey Lukas, the one guy you'll probably ever love is dead!" ==**

"**Hey Berwald, I found you a wife!" ==**

"**Why do supernatural monsters keep saving my life from other supernatural monsters who eat those dear to me?" ==**

"**This is Tino." ==**

"This is Tino." you say, standing in front of the vampire so neither of your friends can stake him. "He saved my life. Also, I have pinto beans."

Somehow, all of you end up sitting in the makeshift living room. Lukas is glaring at the vampire and Berwald is just outright staring. After a few tense moments, Lukas speaks up.

"Where is Mathias?"

You gulp.

"Dead." you say softly.

Lukas stiffens.

"No."

"Yes."

"How could he be?"

"Vampires." you say.

Lukas turns to Tino, probably about to accuse him.

"Tino saved my life." you say before the Norwegian can do anything. "He wanted to save Mathias, too, but he was outnumbered."

"I really am sorry for your loss." Tino says solemnly.

Lukas stares at him for a moment, then puts his face in his hands. You can only assume that it's to hide whatever emotion that he's displaying.

"What happened?" he asks in a shaky voice.

You look to Tino.

"Well, I live with several other vampires, trying to keep them from over-hunting the humans. Ivan and Natalya, the most powerful aside from me, had recently eaten, but captured Feliciano and Mathias anyway. I wanted to save them both, but that would have given away my position.

"You should know that I absolutely _detest_ being a vampire. Some, like Ivan, revel in it, but I find it disgusting. I try to drink from animals as often as I can. You wouldn't believe how many cows there are running around! Their blood may be sub-par compared to humans, but I feel better about it. I'm basically a vampire vegetarian.

"Anyway, I convinced Ivan to give me Feliciano. I suppose he thinks I'm eating him right now. I brought Feli and the food he had found back here."

You are grateful that he's giving you credit for finding the food.

"Is this true?" Lukas asks you.

Is it?

**Yes! ==**

**No! ==**

**Maybe! ==**

"Uh-huh!" you say. "I'd be dead if it weren't for him."

"Well, bloodless." Tino corrects with a nervous laugh. He's noticed how Berwald can't take his eyes off him. You've noticed too. Does Berwald hate vampires that much? Does he blame Tino for the death of Mathias?

No, Berwald isn't staring hatefully, even though that what it looks like he's doing. He's just staring.

Lukas gets up and excuses himself on the pretense of sorting through the food. You suspect that he needs some time alone to cry, get angry and then eat something. In that order.

Thanks to his absence, an awkward silence falls upon the rest of you.

"So..." Tino says. "I'd be happy to help out here... help find food and stuff, you know. Ivan would rip me apart piece by piece if he found out, but I'm good at hiding things from him."

"You don't have to risk your neck for us!" you say. "You saved my life; _I_ should be the one offering to help _you!_"

"You don't owe me." Tino says. "I did what anyone with any human left in them would do. I wish I had rescued Mathias too, though."

"It's fine." Berwald says. You and Tino jump, as Berwald hasn't said a word throughout the whole meeting. "Y' did wh't y' could."

Tino gives him a nervous smile.

"Th-thanks..."

The conversation becomes a lot more open after that. Lukas eventually returns to the room, expression blank.

"I think I've worn out my welcome." Tino says, getting up. "And I should split before Ivan becomes suspicious."

You get up to escort Tino out, and the vampire shakes hands with Lukas and Berwald.

"Thank you for saving Feliciano." Lukas says.

"Not a problem!" Tino replies.

You can see that he's a bit more nervous when shaking Berwald's hand(because even vampires are frightened of Berwald).

"It was nice to meet you." Tino says, still managing to smile sweetly.

"Same." Berwald says.

Tino bids them goodnight, and then the two of you walk to the door.

"Say Feli," he says to you, "you mentioned earlier that you were looking for someone to team up with... I don't know anyone quite of the description you came up with, but I know a human Spaniard and a Japanese werecat who need a medic. They're searching for the cure and seeking out the head vampire. I could bring them around sometime so you could meet them, if you'd like."

"That would be great!" you say. "After tonight, I bet Berwald and Lukas are going to start babying me, so I'd really like to prove myself, as long as I'm not in too much danger!"

"Don't worry about danger!" Tino says, smiling. "Kiku and Antonio are the best fighters I know. Antonio once beat me in a fight all by himself, and Kiku's slain a demon or two, so you can be assured that they're both quite hard-boiled!"

"Thank you so much!" you gush. "You've done so much for me! How can I ever repay you?"

"Look for the cure with them." Tino tells you. "I want nothing more than for this bloodbath to end."

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" you ask.

"You just did, but go ahead."

"I have two questions, actually. The first one is: why did you seem so scared of Berwald? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I'm not scared of him!" Tino insists. "He was just kind of glaring at me in a way that made me uncomfortable."

"He wasn't glaring at you." you assure him. "I've lived with him long enough to know when he's glaring or not."

"Alright. What was your second question?"

**Ask about the meaning of life ==**

**Ask him to do the Macarena ==**

**Ask him what the Macarena ****_is_****, as it doesn't exist yet ==**

**Ask about werewolves ==**

"Are there good werewolves out there?" you ask. You know werecats are usually nice enough, if a bit aloof, but Lukas and Mathias have always insisted that werewolves are always evil. However, you still can't forget that wolf who saved your life.

"You mean like how I am a good vampire?" Tino asks. "I would assume so, but I've never met one. Why do you ask?"

"Five years ago, a werewolf saved my life." you say.

You and Tino say your goodbyes, and then he leaves. You head back to where Berwald and Lukas are.

"What did you think of him?" you ask.

"Seems nice enough, but he could be hiding something darker." Lukas says. That's exactly the kind of thing you expected him to say. You turn to Berwald and ask the question again.

"I th'nk I'm 'n love." he says.

* * *

**The song for this chapter is "Making Good" from Wicked just because I couldn't think of anything else.**

**A word about Finland: the reason he is all badass and cool here is because he, as a vampire, is extraordinarily powerful.**


	3. Within You

**Three days later ==**

You haven't seen much of Lukas lately. He's been sulking. You and Berwald leave him alone, only talking to him when you try to get him to eat. Thanks to the food you and Tino brought, Berwald hasn't had to go out looking for food yet.

To pass the time, you bother Berwald about liking Tino. You think it's utterly adorable and you suddenly have this desperate need to see them together, as a couple. The Swede tries to change the subject every time you bring it up, but you're relentless.

Tino shows up again, but this time he's brought a couple other people.

**Say hi ==**

"Ciao!" you say, shaking their hands.

"Hola!" says the taller man. He has messy, dark brown hair, tan skin and bright green eyes. He is smiling playfully, and you're sure that the two of you will get along quite well.

"Konichiwa." the shorter man says politely. He has black hair, brown eyes and pale skin. You think he looks smart.

"Feli, this is Antonio," Tino says, gesturing to the Spanish man, "and this is Kiku." he points to the Asian man.

"It's nice to meet you!" you say sincerely. You don't get to socialize much, so this is a golden opportunity.. You lead them inside, having them sit down in the first row of seats. Berwald looks up from the table he's repairing, but doesn't say anything. Lukas is still sulking backstage.

"This must have been a magnificent theater..." Antonio says, looking around. "I wonder what it was like to see a show here."

You look around as well, never having fully realized how amazing it would be to see an actual theatrical production put on. In fact, you might very well like to perform in a play yourself... should the opportunity ever arise.

Lukas emerges from the orchestra pit, introduces himself and then goes to make some tea. You, Tino, Antonio and Kiku all have a fairly pleasant conversation. The particulars about travel and such shall be dealt with later.

Meanwhile, we shall take a break from observing these airheads and have a change of perspective.

**Be Jia-Long ==**

Your name is Jia-Long. You are a handsome young lad of Asian descent and your older brother is the head vampire's secretary. You have sneaked away from their HQ and are now roaming the streets, hoping to see a zombie or something.

You know nothing will willingly harm you out here. The head vampire would surely make a fuss if his secretary made a fuss, and Yao would definitely make a fuss. Witch's fusses are fucking _terrifying,_ man.

_I'm used to it._

Quiet, you.

Even with your status, your brother is still paranoid about you being killed. But who gives a damn? You're sixteen – not a little kid anymore. If anyone is still immature it's Yong Soo.

_You can say that again._

If you're not going to say anything useful, then you can just shut up.

**Stfu ==**

_Hey, you can't just-_

That's more like it.

Anyway, you're exploring because you're a rebellious kid with high status in the undead world. Even though you're living, most creatures will think twice before attacking you. Zombies are another story, seeing as they're not known for thinking, but you know how to deal with them.

It's a lovely night out in N.Y.C. The zombies are fairly active, but none approach you. Is that a werecat yowling in the distance? Probably. Vampires don't typically hunt in this area because only really stupid humans would remain in the place with the highest population of vampires in the U.S.

You had been perusing an abandoned store, looking for more art supplies. You've been running low on pencils recently, and you could use a new sketch book. Just as you're exiting the shop, tucking the goods into your bag, you come face to face with a ghost.

Normally, ghosts kinda creep you out. Not this one. This ghost is, quite frankly, utterly adorable. He looks about your age and his hair is a shade of silvery-white unnatural even for a ghost. He's got this sweet, uncertain expression, and he backs away uneasily as you step forward. He is obviously shocked to see you.

**Say hi ==**

**Ask for his number ==**

**Ask him who does his hair ==**

"**What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?" ==**

**Use a similarly lame pickup line ==**

Most of those options are quite out-of-era. Forget I mentioned them.

**Say hi ==**

"Hey, pip." you say nonchalantly.

He stares at you.

"Can you talk?" you ask.

He gives you a funny look, and then glides over to the shop window and breathes on the glass. Instead of hot, condensed moisture, he produces a thin layer of frost. In this, he uses his finger to write "I can whisper."

"Oh." you say. "I'm Wang Jia-Long. Just call me Jia-Long."

To respond, the ghost has to get close to your ear. You don't mind in the slightest, but he obviously feels a bit awkward about it.

"I'm Emil Bondevik." he whispers. "Originally Emil Steilsson."

"Nice to meet you." you reply. For some reason, it is.

"I haven't seen any humans in this area..." he says.

"Yeah... I'm special." you reply. "I'm the butter and egg man's moll's little brother."

The ghost looks slightly saddened for some reason. You go and sit on the curb, and motion for him to follow. Even though he is floating above the concrete by several inches, you're still a bit taller than he is.

"I can't find my big brother." he whispers.

"That's a curve." you reply. "What happened?"

Emil stares at you with a mix of "can you seriously not figure it out?" and what you hope is "gee, you're cute."

"I died." he whispers, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Not too long ago, either."

"Where did you last see him?" you ask, as if helping a lost five-year-old at a train station or some place similar.

"He and I and some other orphans lived in an old theater..." he replies. "I've been looking for it, but I can never seem to find my way home..."

Here the ghost looks so sad, you are struck by a sudden urge to offer your assistance.

**Offer your assistance ==**

_But-_

**Do it ==**

You do it.

"Can I help?" you ask. "In any way at all?"

Once more, the ghost looks totally caught off guard.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because..." you're trying to find a reason that isn't off the cob. "Because I've got nothing better to do, of course. I don't get many chances to explore, so if Yao catches me I'll have a good excuse."

"Alright..." Emil says, still looking a bit bewildered. You can't get over the fact that he's wearing a bow in his collar. Not a bow tie, but a satin ribbon tied very nicely. It's adorable. You wish he was material enough for you to hug.

"Tell me about your life." you say.

He complies.

As you learn more and more about him, you realize that once he finds his brother, he probably won't have any unfinished business left on earth and will promptly disappear upon seeing him. The thought is saddening, so you vow to yourself not to get too attached to him.

He seems a bit hesitant at first, but then he ends up telling you everything. Every kid who came and went, every one who never came back, each curtain and creaky floorboard... the abandoned set pieces and the velvet seats and the dressing rooms and the orchestra pit... and you listen to everything.

You listen to him talk about Alfred and Feliciano and Lovino and then Berwald and Mathias and most especially Lukas. He tells you about the time when the Italian brothers sneaked out and one of them got attacked by a zombie. He talks about the weird relationship between his brother and the Danish guy.

And he does all this in a whisper.

Even though you know that you shouldn't get attached to him, you're feeling quite sympathetic. You are definitely going to help him find his brother.

Yao will be furious, but since when have you ever given a fuck?

**Give a fuck ==**

Go on, I dare you.

…

…

You have no fucks left to give.

OK, you give a fuck about this sweet ghost boy, but WHATEVER. It's only because he's cute, and not because you're suddenly overwhelmed with a case of compassion or anything. Besides, he's wearing a pretty satin ribbon tied neatly in a bow around his neck. Bow ties are cool.

"I know a train we can catch in about an hour." you say, getting up. Emil follows suit. "We're gonna find your brother."

But before you can go anywhere, you find yourself face to face with a human armed to the teeth. He has blond hair that reaches just below his jaw and cold green eyes. You barely register this, however, because you are looking down the barrel of a gun.

"Well, isn't _this_ snazzy." he says. "I go out expecting a wild goose chase in this apple, and here I find the perfect material to bleed the butter and egg man."

"What?" you say.

"I'm sayin' I'm thinking of taking you right back to the speakeasy and using you as ransom material." the man(you _think_ it's a man. His voice is fairly masculine) says. "It isn't everyday a broad like me finds a golden opportunity like you."

You look at him in confusion.

"He wants to you use you to get at the head vampire." Emil hisses in your ear.

"Oh." you say. "Tell him I'd rather not. I'm kinda busy helping you at the moment."

"I will not be your messenger pigeon."

"Fine. Be that way." you reply. "Even though I only want to help you..."

"Quit bumping gums." the man says. "I'm packing heat and I have no qualms about giving you lead poisoning. Leave your pally and come with me, lest I should put you in your Chicago overcoat a bit early."

You look helplessly towards Emil, who rolls his eyes.

"He's threatening you." the ghost says. "He wants you to leave me and go with him."

**Be outraged ==**

"I'm not leaving Emil." you say. "Plus, my brother-the head vampire's secretary, as you know- will freak out if I get kidnapped. And if Yao freaks out, then Mr. Fangs-and-danger will have to do something about it."

"That's kind of the point." the man says. "Wanna lure him out into the open so I can introduce him to my bean shooter. Or maybe a nice hot slice of garlic bread."

"Yeah... not coming with you." you say.

"The only reason I haven't plugged you yet is because you're more use to me alive. I can still kill you." he says.

"Do you really want an ancient, all-powerful vampire going on a rampage?" you ask. "He thinks of me as a son, you know."

"Maybe that's just what I want..." the man says. "Maybe I want him so angry that he'll come up to me so I can say 'Abyssinia, twit' and plug him smooth. And trust me, it won't be any trip for the biscuits, neither. Even if I die, at least I'll go knowing I did something. Death is preferable to a world where a dame like me can't be an actress or canary."

**Understand what he is saying perfectly ==**

"Huh?" you reply.

"He wants to be an actress." Emil relays. "But he can't, so he's taking his anger out on the head vampire... or something."

"Whatever. This is really eating up time," you say, "and I really don't want to get shot. Any ideas?"

"Just a moment." Emil replies.

The blond man is still talking, perhaps about some guy named "Toris". He doesn't notice the rapidly declining temperature.

Within a minute, the gunsel becomes a gunsicle.

"Whoa, nice going!" you say to Emil. "I didn't know ghosts had freaky ice powers!"

"They don't, normally." Emil says sheepishly. "I'm a freak of nature no matter if I'm alive or dead."

"That is too cool!" you say.

"Stop teasing me." Emil groans.

"I'm not teasing you." you tell him, frowning slightly. "I think having ice powers is totally snazzy. My brother would _kill_ to be able to freeze people even half as potently as that!"

You two are now headed down to the train station.

"Still... I'd trade all these powers if I could just fit in for once." Emil sighs.

**Facepalm ==**

"Fitting in is for losers." you tell him. "Standing out is where it's at. You and me, we're special. We're different. We do things our own way and at our own pace. I say go ahead and put me on a pedestal, because that pedestal will be my stage."

"You're crazy." Emil whispers.

"Good!" you reply. "That means I'm a special goddamn snowflake. Of course, my crazy is a classy crazy."

"No, your crazy is just crazy crazy." Emil chuckles.

"If it makes you laugh, then it's worth it." you say, watching Emil's cheeks heat up(or cool down? You don't know how it works with him.)

You have finally reached the train station. All the trains are run by werecats(in human form, of course) and you, thanks to your status, are technically allowed to ride wherever you want, whenever you want, free of charge. Same for whatever guests you happen to bring.

Typically, only zombies and werecreatures ride the trains, since vampires can fly and ghosts can drift, but yours is a special case.

You and Emil watch as the ghastly-looking train pulls up into the station. God, you're glad that you can nab first-class seats. Emil seems put off by the general creepiness of the train, but you tell him that looks can be deceiving and that this train is in better shape than any other in America.

When Emil still looks hesitant, you remind him that one trip wouldn't kill him. He rolls his eyes at you as he drifts on board.

"So I've been thinking..." you say as the two of you take your seats.

"That's a surprise." Emil mutters.

"Hush. I've been thinking about that theater you told me about... if what I remember is accurate, then we get off in six stops and then take a separate train for a while and that should put us right near the theater that most closely matches the description you gave me."

Emil stares at you.

"What?" you ask.

"Why are you helping me?" he asks.

"I thought I answered that." you say.

"I mean, why are you _really_ helping me?" Emil explains. "No one does this sort of thing just to spite their brother, or whatever the shit excuse you gave me was."

**Answer in an honest and meaningful way ==**

"I... uh... it was just kinda sad, seeing you lost and alone like that." you admit. "Most of the time, ghosts usually look extremely apathetic, but you... I don't know... you looked _human._"

Whoa, way to go. You actually managed "honest and meaningful."

Emil is still staring at you, but in a slightly different way.

"You look human too, you know." he remarks.

"You know what I mean." you say.

"... Again, thank you." Emil says, averting his gaze.

"Don't mention it." you say offhandedly.

Anyway, I'm sick of you. Let's go to a different viewpoint.

* * *

**This chapter's song is "Within You", from the movie Labyrinth. Just because.**


	4. Trouble

**Be Kiku ==**

You are now Kiku Honda. You, Antonio and Feliciano have been on the road for two days, not entirely sure where you're going. Supposedly, you're heading for the largest speakeasy(a word which here means "refuge from zombies") in the state, where all the info on supernatural monsters is kept. From there, you'll figure out a mission and go out to help save the world or something.

Currently, Feli and Antonio are staking out an old manor house while you keep watch outside. You are in cat form, as you are a lot less conspicuous that way. You're prowling up and down the street, keeping an eye and an ear out for trouble.

Well, you got trouble, my friend.

He's a handsome man, with enchanting green eyes and silky brown hair that hangs just past his jaw, but he's a werewolf nonetheless. He's strolling down the street, and he looks like he's searching for something. If he comes any closer to the manor, then you're going to raise the alarm and/or attack him. However, he is still at a distance, so it's possible that he will just turn and leave. After all, it would be a shame to hurt such a gorgeous face.

You berate yourself for thinking of him as gorgeous.

He is not merely gorgeous, after all. He is breathtaking.

You're still berating yourself.

**Cut it out and see what he does ==**

The werewolf stops and sits on a bench, yawning in the sun. He stretches and you have to make a point of not looking at his tan, well-muscled(yet lean) arms. The light dances on his hair, creating a slightly golden glow.

**Stop think such lewd thoughts! ==**

You are unsuccessful.

Thanks to your sharp nose, you can tell that the man hasn't mauled any humans lately, and that he had eaten a turkey sandwich about an hour ago. Despite the obviously wolfish scent, there's also quite a bit of cat mingled in there.

Oh my gosh, what if this guy is a werecat killer?

No, there's no signs of blood on him, and the cat scent is fairly fresh. He must just be a feline fanatic.

There's also a slight trace of olive oil and something flowery you can't quite place to his aroma. Is that honey you smell? And catnip. Definitely catnip. You can't help but draw nearer, enticed by this unusual person.

Oh crap, he's seen you.

You freeze, fur standing on end. You are ready to run.

He smiles softly, and holds out his hand to you.

That's human for "I want to pet you."

No way are you trusting such a suspiciously-handsome young werewolf!

**Go on, nuzzle his hand ==**

_What? But... I..._

**Do it ==**

Tentatively, you step forward. The man's smile widens ever-so-slightly, and he seems to beckon with his outstretched hand.

So. Fucking. Suspicious.

Still, you're sure that you could totally kick his well-toned ass, if the need should arise.

You close the distance between yourself and his hand and let him stroke your fur. Even though it's demeaning and you're feeling slightly violated, it's been quite a while since you've been pet and it feels Good.

He's surprisingly gentle, and you can't help but close your eyes and nuzzle his hand warmly. For all he knows, you're just a lovable stray.

In fact, you're so lovable that you find yourself on his lap, and you don't even care. Your purr is a quiet purr but it's a sincere one. The man chuckles to himself, but it's not an Wicked chuckle. It's a kind chuckle.

Before you know it, his right hand finds that spot just before the tail, and you kind of forget yourself. That spot is a trigger. You're in human form now.

You don't even realize anything is wrong until you notice that the man has stopped petting you. Then you look at your hands, realize what has happened, and leap away from him, blushing and stammering and freaking out and being utterly adorable.

"I... you... er... I mean..." your face is quite red. "I apologize!" you blurt out.

"For what?" the man asks, tilting his head to the side.

You give him a stare. That stare that says "are you _kidding_ me?"

"I let myself get carried away." you explain. "You had no idea that I am a werecat and I took advantage of that and I don't know _what_ came over me but-"

"I knew you were a werecat." the man says in a calm, soothing voice.

**Try not to gape at him ==**

You have failed miserably.

**Slap him ==**

But that would be impolite!

**Interrogate him ==**

"Who are you?" you ask.

"Heracles Karpusi, unwilling werewolf." he says, and he takes your hand and makes as if he's about to kiss it, but you pull it away. This man is making you uncomfortable in a strange way that sends a shiver up your spine. If he were anyone else, you'd probably kill him for even _thinking_ of kissing your hand.

"I am Kiku Honda." you reply. "Unwilling? Might I ask what you mean by that?"

"I want nothing more than to be a werecat." Heracles sighs. "All my life, I have adored cats, dating back to when I was still in diapers and crawling after my mother's old tomcat. It's just my luck to have been bitten by a Turkish werewolf."

"Ah. I see." you reply.

"Cats are just... so cool." he says. "Clever and sophisticated and independent and graceful... and you don't lose your cool when in creature form. You make a Good cat."

Your cheeks go pink at the compliment.

"Er, thanks." you say. "What are you doing here, if I may be so bold?"

"You may." Heracles says, face blank but eyes twinkling. "I am looking for a Good place to nap while my friend searches for food. I guess he'll be along soon."

"Your friend?" you ask. "Er, he isn't planning to look for food in that manor, is he?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Two of my travel companions are in there, making sure it's a safe place to stay the night." you explain. "If your friend is likely to harm them, then I am afraid that I will have to... prevent him from doing so."

Heracles considers this for a moment.

"What are your friends' names?"

"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and Feliciano Vargas." you reply, a bit perplexed at his odd question. Heracles smiles at the second name.

"He won't hurt them." he says.

You stare at him for a moment before deciding to take this man's strange ways in stride.

You and Heracles both look up when you notice a large gray wolf stalking down the street opposite you. It looks up at Heracles, who waves, and then continues on to the manor.

"So... are there more of you?" you ask.

"Oh yeah. Ludwig and I are members of this resistance planning to overthrow the head vampire and restore things back to the way they were. We've got humans, mostly, but a couple werewolves like me and Ludwig and his brother... and a few odd ghosts..."

You stare at him. How could he be so willing to give away such precious information?

**Could it be? ==**

"You mean... you're from the largest speakeasy in America?" you ask.

"Pretty much." Heracles shrugs. "We call ourselves Abyssinia, though. 'The largest speakeasy in America' really doesn't have much of a ring to it."

"My associates and I have been looking for your group!" you tell him. "We weren't expecting to find you so quickly!"

"Really? Our headquarters isn't that far from here..." Heracles says thoughtfully. "I'll take you there, if you'd like."

"That would be splendid." you say gratefully.

"However, you must do something for me first..." the olive-skinned man continues.

"What do you have in mind?" you ask cautiously.

"Well... I've known some werecats who have the ability to call forth certain aspects of their animal form while still retaining human form..." he says. "I would like to see what you would look like with cat ears and a tail."

**OK, **_**now**_** you slap him ==**

"Excuse me?" you ask incredulously. You were expecting to have to do him a favor, or give him information, or something _useful!_

"I said-"

"I heard what you said!" you say sharply, before covering your mouth with your hands. Why are you being so rude? "Sumimasen. I only found it hard to believe you would ask something so... trivial of me."

"You can do it, then?"

"Of course." you say.

**Be the neko boy ==**

You are now the neko boy.

Me_ow~_

Heracles raises his eyebrows, and gives you a quick once-over. He then smiles approvingly.

"Adorable." he says.

You immediately revert back to full human form, cheeks pinker than cherry blossoms.

"Excuse me?"

"What, did you sneeze?" Heracles asks. It takes you a moment to realize that he is teasing you. "I said that you're adorable."

"I..." you don't know what to say. This situation is entirely unfamiliar to you. "You... I'm..."

"Cat got your tongue?" he asks in a lazy tone. "Oh, are you thinking that I only called you cute because of the cat ears? Don't worry, you're adorable with or without them."

"I am afraid that I am not used to being spoken to in such a forward manner." you say, trying to regain control over yourself.

"Oh? You'd think it would happen more often, considering..." he says, eying you with what could possibly be a knowing look.

Do you have any idea how awesome it is that this sexy Grecian werewolf is hitting on you? You don't have time to really think about it, though, because you are interrupted by Feliciano and Ludwig exiting the building, with no Antonio in sight.

What has happened?

* * *

**No, NOT Taylor Swift's "Trouble". I meant "Trouble" from The Music Man.**

**Yeah, Japan's secretly a pervert. Big surprise, amirite?**

**Whoops, i accidentally Antonio.**


	5. Hallelujah

**What happened while you were flirting with the hot guy? ==**

Back to being Feliciano.

You and Antonio are checking out this manor house. You didn't want to be left alone on guard, so Kiku volunteered to do that and you went with the Spaniard. Antonio sort of reminds you of Mathias, though he is a lot gentler and slightly more subdued.

You really aren't that concerned about any threats, and neither is Antonio. However, the two of you make sure to keep your voices down.

"And that's why Tino and Berwald should let me be the ring bearer." you finish. Antonio chuckles.

"If it's even possible to get married in this world anymore, then I wish the best of luck to you." he says.

"Do you ever want to get married to someone?" you ask.

"Only if I find the right person," Antonio replies, "someone with spark and personality, definitely. What about you, Feli?"

"I don't know... I just want someone to keep me safe." you say. "But I really want to be a ring bearer."

"Tell you what," Antonio says with a grin, "if I ever get married, you can be my ring bearer for sure."

"I'd like that~" you tell him. "And if I ever get married, you can my best man... Lukas would probably want to give me away, of course."

A sudden noise-a floorboard creaking- causes the both of you to freeze in your tracks. This manor isn't quite abandoned...

"Run." Antonio whispers, assuming a fighting stance with his ax.

You worry about him, but you obey without question.

However, you are pretty much lost, and you find yourself in a dead end, because that is what happens to you because you have weird luck.

And coming right after you is a zombie.

**Fight ==**

You turn and draw your gun, but you realize that you won't ever pull the trigger.

Why?

This zombie is your brother.

He stares at you with cloudy, unfocused eyes. He's dragging one leg behind him, and his hair is messy and his cheeks shallow, but he looks to be in much better shape than some of the other zombies you've seen. His movements are stiff, as to be expected, and he doesn't seem to recognize you, also as expected.

"L-Lovi..." you whimper. "Lovi, it's me. Your brother. Feliciano. Don't you remember me, Lovino?"

He doesn't reply, preferring instead to continue his advance.

He makes a zombie-type noise, and you realize that you are totally screwed. Well, at least it'll be your brother who kills you, and not some stranger...

Then something catches your eye. Someone's got a gun aimed at the back of Lovi's head!

"No!" you yell. "Don't hurt him! Please!"

The figure pauses, then uses the butt of the gun to knock Lovi out. You gasp, but the newcomer gives you no time to do anything. He grabs your arm and pulls you through a hallway, down a flight of stairs and out into the open. Sweet, beautiful outdoors...

Your savior turns and glares at you.

"What the hell were you thinking, going in there? That place practically _reeks_ of the undead! And why were you so insistent that I not kill the creature who was about to feast on your flesh? What is wrong with you?"

You can't fight the tears anymore.

You break down, sobbing, and plop yourself down unceremoniously on the pavement. The man hesitates, but then sits down next to you and rubs your back.

**Explain through your tears ==**

"He... he... he's my brother..." you tell him. "My... my older brother. L-L-Lovino. Me and... and... Antonio!" you exclaim. "He's still in there!"

The man who saved you stiffens.

"I thought I smelled a second human..." he says. "Dammit. He's probably dead by now."

You cry even harder now.

"I c-c-can't believe it!" you wail. "This k-keeps happening! People keeping dying for me a-a-and then I have to get saved by some supernatural creature! F-f-first Lovi and then M-Mathias and now Antonio!"

"This is a recurring pattern for you?" your savior asks.

"Apparently!" you reply.

"Feliciano-kun!" Kiku is hurrying over, an unfamiliar man trailing behind him. "Is everything alright? Where is Antonio-san?"

You're crying too hard to reply coherently.

"Dead." says the man who saved you.

"Are you sure?" Kiku asks.

"Positive." says the man.

The unfamiliar man with olive skin sits down next to you.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Feli-Feli-Feliciano Vargas." you hiccup.

"I'm Heracles Karpusi, and of course you've met Ludwig." he replies. You look over at the (presumed) werewolf who saved you.

He's quite handsome, with slicked-back blond hair and sky blue eyes...

Very _familiar_ sky blue eyes.

**Remember ==**

"It's you!" you exclaim, tears forgotten. "You're the werewolf who saved me all those years ago!"

Ludwig blinks.

"You remember me?"

"Of course I do!" you tell him. "If it weren't for you, I'd be dead right now... twice! I'd be double-dead!"

"To be fair, you seem to owe a _lot_ of people your life." Kiku mutters.

"Oh hush, you." you tell him. "You got to relax out here with Heracles while I went through a highly traumatic experience. You're lucky Ludwig saved me, or else you'd have to live with the guilt of letting me get mutilated by my own flesh and blood and believe me, Kiku, I'd come back to haunt you."

Ludwig stares at you.

"Is he always so... quick to change his mood?" he asks Kiku.

"Hai." the Japanese man replied. "His body repels negative emotions, unless said negative emotion is fear. Oh, forgive me for being so rude. My name is Kiku Honda."  
"Ludwig Beilschmidt." Ludwig says.

Kiku and Heracles explain about Abyssinia, although Kiku tries to skim over the details of how he got Heracles to agree to take them there. Heracles attempts to reveal it, but Kiku gives him this look which you have seen Lukas give Mathias, and the Grecian man respectfully shuts his trap.

Throughout this, you sneak glances at Ludwig. You just can't believe you've finally met the werewolf who saved your life!

**Believe it ==**

Yeah, you're still having trouble fathoming it.

Anyway, you weren't expecting the hero of your youth to be this Good-looking! I mean, seriously, are werewolves even _allowed_ to be this hot?

You suppose that Heracles is also attractive, objectively, but that's beside the point.

And then something COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED happens.

"Er... hola, mi amigos!"

* * *

**I wonder who that could be?**

**Chose the song "Hallelujah" for this chapter, just because I like it.**


	6. Thank Goodness

**What the hell, Antonio? ==**

You are now Antonio right before Ludwig came in and rescued Feliciano.

Hello sexy! You are, essentially, the Spanish god of passion and being gorgeous.

Yum.

Why is everyone in this story Good-looking? Seriously, there _must_ be ugly humans in a zombie apocalypse or it just isn't fair!

Anyway, you find yourself faced by at least twenty zombies who seem to have come out of nowhere.

After it is made apparent that you cannot beat them, you turn and run.

It seems that Feliciano is rubbing off on you.

You lose the dread(the collective noun for a group of zombies), but you find yourself in a kitchen with no escape.

Oh well. At least you'll die in a place where food is meant to be served.

A single zombie limps in, heading directly for you. You close your eyes and sigh, wondering if you should kill this one, at the very least.

A whole minute passes of you not dying, so you open your eyes to see what the holdup is.

The zombie is still there, but he's not doing anything. He's just staring at you with unfathomably undead eyes. Maybe he's scared of the ax you've been carrying around? If so, then he has a lot more sense than any other zombie you've ever met.

Seriously. Zombies must be magnetically attracted to your ax or something.

I'd make a dirty innuendo here, but you're kind of about to die and that would be disrespectful.

The zombie who is certainly about to take your life might have been quite Good-looking before he became a member of the undead, but it certainly doesn't show now. His hair, though grimy and tangled, is a familiar shade of chestnut brown, and his eyes look to be the same shade of amber as Feli's. In fact, this zombie bears a _striking_ resemblance to your Italian friend!

"Are you... by any chance... Lovino Vargas?" you ask.

To your surprise, the zombie nods.

Before you can ask anything else, you hear the unmistakable sound of more zombies approaching. Lovino turns and walks to the door, grunting at his fellows. After a strange little conversation-type thing, the other zombies go away and Lovino returns his attention to you.

"You sent them away..." you say. He nods. "Why?" you ask. He shrugs. "Are you going to kill me?" you ask. He shakes his head.

**Recover from your traumatic experience at record speed ==**

"Oh, that's Good!" you say, getting to your feet. "I didn't want to die quite yet, anyway! It's very nice to meet you! I know your brother! In fact, he was in here somewhere!"

The zombie looks at you like you're crazy.

"What, you don't remember your brother?"

The zombie nods.

"Aw, that's a shame!" you say. "He remembers you, you know! So why didn't you kill me? I was practically a sitting tomato there!"

The zombie shrugs.

"Er... OK! Anyway, do you know the way out of here?" you ask. "I'm completely lost! Once I find my bearings, I could probably find your brother, too!"

Lovino stares at you for a moment, then turns and begins to sulk out of the room. You follow him, still bright and cheerful, if slightly wary.

"My name is Antonio, by the way!" you tell him. "Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! But you can call me Toni! Can I call you Lovi? My favorite animals are turtles because-"

Lovino looks over at you and, slowly, raises a finger to his lips.

He's telling you to shut the fuck up.

**Shut the fuck up ==**

"Oh, right! Sorry! I'll be quiet!" you assure him.

He attempts to roll his eyes, but only succeeds with the left one.

You follow him right up to the front door, where you spy your friends across the street, including Feliciano.

"Ah, there they are!" you say happily. "And there's your brother! Thanks for helping me, Lovi! Oh, would you like to come with me? If you promise not to eat anyone, that is!"

The zombie gives you that "are you _insane?_" look again, but he trails after you as you head outside.

"Er... hola, mi amigos!" you call, and they all look up. Feliciano gasps and runs to you, and you catch him in a hug.

"Toni!" he exclaims. "I thought you were dead! Guess what! Remember that werewolf I told you about? He saved my life again and his name is Ludwig and I saw my brother and- Lovi?"

Feliciano stares at Lovino, who does not react.

"He... he still doesn't recognize me." Feliciano whimpers, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Not yet." you say to him. "He saved me from some other zombies, and then he led me out here! So I think maybe he could be the key to finding the cure!"

"Is that so?" the buff blond guy asks, as the rest of the group joins you.

"Mm-hmm!" you say. "I don't think he'll hurt any of us... not when I'm around, at least... I don't know..."

"We should probably take them all back to Abyssinia, then." the buff blond says. You suppose he might be Ludwig. "Also, Kiku, whatever Heracles made you do was totally unnecessary. I would have taken you all there anyway."

* * *

**Thank Goodness is from the musical Wicked.**

**Now you can see where the Warm Bodies elements will be coming in.**


	7. I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

**Be Feliciano again ==**

You are now the idiot.

You are following your newly-found friends to their hideout. Everything seems a whole lot less scary when Ludwig's around!

"Where are you from?" you ask him.

"Well, I was born in Germany..." he replies stiffly.

"Really? I was born in Italy!" you say. "I don't remember it at all, though. Do you have any family?"

"I think my grandfather is still in Germany... and I have my brother, Gilbert, back at Abyssinia. You've met him."

"I have?" you ask. Then you realize... "Oh, he's the one who attacked me all those years ago! Promise you won't let him hurt me!"

"Er... I promise." Ludwig says, a bit taken aback by your mood swing. "He's more obnoxious than dangerous while in human form, anyway."

"Alright, then!" you say. "Perhaps he and I can be friends! I seem to be making a lot of new friends, lately! What about you, fratello?" you turn to Lovino(which means you have to walk backwards) and he gives you a blank stare. You sigh.

"Still don't recognize me, hmm?" you ask. "At least you aren't yelling at me. Do you think, if you were still alive, you'd be yelling at Antonio? You seem to like him... but you'd never admit that while human, I bet! You were always weird about that sort of thing, you know."

Lovi doesn't appear to be listening to you, which sort of breaks your heart.

"It'll be alright, Feli." Antonio assures you.

You begin to wonder if that will ever be true.

After a while, you all make it to a quaint-looking cafe which was probably abandoned years ago. The economy always drops during a zombie apocalypse.

"Welcome to Abyssinia." Heracles says.

"It's very... cozy?" Kiku replies.

"It's actually much bigger on the inside." Ludwig reassures him.

Heracles leads you all inside and into the back room, where he pulls open the cellar door. You are taken aback by the sudden chatter and music that spills out of it. Ludwig leads the way, followed by Antonio who asks Lovino to keep watch. Then you and Kiku descend the stairs, closely followed by Heracles.

**OMG ==**

"Wow..." you breathe.

You've never seen so many people in your life.

The room-well, it's more of a cave- is huge and well-lit, and there's a bar and a kitchen and some sleeping bags and hammocks and _so many people._

"And there I was, face-to-face with the head vampire's filly's brother, and he's got this kid wearing his Chicago overcoat hanging next to him, and I tell him that I'm packing heat and the crumb's just bumping gums with the ghost and is acting all calm and I'm getting positively _Wicked_ here and I'm about to fill him with sunlight when suddenly, I feel all stiff and cold, and the next thing I know I'm frozen solid!"

A young man with blond hair is talking to a circle of people hanging on to his story, gasping and hushing each other at appropriate moments.

"If you were frozen solid, then how are you here talking to us?" asks a guy with messy blond hair and an irate expression.

"I melted, obviously." the storyteller says. "Don't you ever _think,_ Vash?"

"Well, I _think_ that if you were frozen solid, then your innards were too, and if your innards were frozen solid, then you'd be dead."

"Well, you _thought_ wrong." the storyteller replies. "It was a _magic_ freezing spell, dummy. I doubt that ghost had enough nerve to drag someone else down to the afterlife with him."

"Oh look, Ludwig and Heracles are back!" says a pretty blonde girl wearing a headband.

"And they brought new recruits!" adds an Australian man.

"Uh... hi?" you say.

"Could everyone shut up for a moment?" Ludwig asks in a loud voice. Everyone shuts up. "Thank you. These three have been searching for our group, and now that they've found us, I trust you'll treat them with respect. Go ahead and introduce yourselves." he says to the three of you.

"Hola! I am Antonio Fernandez Carriedo! Just call me Toni!" Antonio says.

"I am Kiku Honda. It is an honor to be here." says Kiku.

"My name's Feliciano Vargas! You can call me Feli!" you say.

"Feliciano Vargas?" asks a member of the crowd. "Whoa, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

**Who dares address you? ==**

You take a closer look.

"Alfred?" you ask uncertainly.

"Yeah, man! It's me!" the blond says, getting up.

"Alfred!" you say again, running over to hug him. "We all thought you were dead!"

"Nah, man. I totally duped those vampires!" he says.

"I wouldn't put it past you!" you laugh. "You wouldn't believe all the adventures I've been having recently! Berwald is smitten with this kind Finnish vampire who introduced me to Kiku and Antonio, and Mathias was... er... killed. By the same vampires who got you, I think! Isn't that an odd coincidence?"

"Geez, really? That's a bummer." Alfred sighs. "All the cool people either get killed by monsters or are me."

"One more announcement!" says Ludwig. "Lovino Vargas, Feliciano's late twin brother, is up in the cafe. He followed Antonio out of a zombie nest and seems fairly docile. I hope none of you will give him problems."

This is met by some doubtful murmurs.

"We're harboring a _zombie?_" the blond storyteller exclaims. "That's _so_ not snazzy."

"_Seems_ fairly docile? That's _so_ reassuring."

"What if it eats us while we sleep?"

"Sleep? Who can sleep knowing a zombie is in the other room?"

"Hey!" Antonio yells. Everyone shuts up and looks at him. "I only just met him, but I am positive that Lovi won't hurt any of us! I thought you guys were the most powerful speakeasy in America, but you're scared of a single zombie? Lovi saved my life, and I'm certain that he is the key to finding the cure! Any problems with him may be taken up with me!"

"Whoa..." Alfred says quietly. "This guy's _intense._"

**In comes awesome ==**

To one side of the room, a sleepy man with severe bedhead and a bit of a hangover wakes up.

"Huh? Luddy, what's going on?" he asks groggily.

"I am not going to have everyone repeat themselves, Gilbert." Ludwig replies.

"Gilbert?" Antonio asks. "Gilbert _Beilschmidt?_"

"Antonio?" Gilbert asks, getting to his feet.

The Spaniard laughs and runs over to hug him.

"Mi amigo! I didn't think I'd ever see you again!" he exclaims happily.

"Geez, give a guy some space." Gilbert grumbles, but he is smiling. "And do ya hafta yell right into my ear? I've got a bit of a not-so-awesome headache."

"I missed you too!" Antonio says happily. "I didn't know Ludwig was your brother! Oh, that's Feliciano Vargas and that's Kiku Honda! And upstairs is a zombie named Lovino Vargas and I won't hear a word against him, you got that, buddy?" Antonio's demeanor has gone from chipper to cold all too fast.

"Uh-huh." Gilbert says. "Wait, Feliciano? Isn't he the guy who... damn." the albino pushes Antonio away and walks over to you. "Listen, I'm sorry I attacked you way back then. It was really un-awesome of me."

**Kill him! **==

**Punch him! **==

**Forgive and forget **==

"That's alright!" you say. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met Ludwig!"

"Huh, someone actually likes Ludwig?" Gilbert asks in mock surprise. "That's a shock! No offense, Luddy, but you're such a stick in the mud sometimes!"

"I think he's really nice!" you say with a frown. "And he's saved my life on more than one occasion!"

"Can we change the subject?" Ludwig asks uncomfortably.

You spend the rest of the day chatting with the members of Abyssinia. You, Antonio and Kiku are all given sleeping bags and food and beverages, and a few of the braver members go up with Antonio to hang out with Lovino. Antonio doesn't seem to want to let anyone besides you and him be alone with your brother, which you think is awfully sweet.

* * *

**I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here is from the musical Annie.**

**Aw, Spain and Prussia had a little reunion! All they need is France, now! I wonder where he is...**

**Anyone catch the Doctor Who reference?**


	8. Peter And The Wolf

**Meanwhile** ==

"T'no?"

"Yes?"

"... n'ver m'nd."

"What?"

"It's n'th'ng."

You frown. It's definitely not nothing.

"Are you sure?"

"..."

"Come on, Berwald..."

"I... h've y' ever seen a pr'per play?"

You know that's not what he had been originally meaning to say, but you go along with it.

"Once, yes. When I was pretty young."

"Wh't w's it like?"

It must have been odd, growing up in a theater and not knowing how it worked.

"It was... magical." you say. "Not like witch magic, though. It was just... a wonderful experience, witnessing a whole new world brought to life on stage. There's something amazing about living, breathing theater."

Berwald seems lost in thought, gazing absentmindedly at the stage. Once you get past his intimidating aura, he really is quite handsome...

"W'sh I c'ld see a m'sical." he says.

"A shame there aren't any theater troupes currently performing." you remark. "Honestly, sometimes I wish things were back to normal just so I can do stupid things again. Zombie apocalypses require you to be on your A game all the time and frankly, I'm exhausted."

Berwald looks over at you, but doesn't appear to have anything to say.

"I can still remember what being a human kid in a theater is like." you continue. "Of course, most kids don't have very Good attention spans, but I was a very patient child. I remember being fascinated with all the instruments in the orchestra pit, and how quickly they could change sets, and the wacky stage makeup, and clapping til my hands hurt...

"The dances were so coordinated, and the actors spoke and sung with such passion... I love musical theater because you never have to keep your feelings bottled up; you can just sing your happiness or your anger or your sorrow and no one thinks you're weak because of it. If you're overjoyed in real life, then it's tricky to express, but in a musical you can just start singing and everyone will join you.

"Wouldn't life be more interesting if it were a musical?" you ask. Berwald nods. "Of course, I'm not a very Good singer, but that would still be very fun. And people wouldn't really die, and we'd all get to wear beautiful costumes and... well, I could do without the makeup."

Berwald is about to say something when you hear a noise at the front door. The two of you exchange a glace before getting up.

It's a strange sort of noise, and you can't quite place it, even though it does sound very familiar.

Berwald opens the door just a crack and peers out. He pauses, and then he smiles and you can't help but stare because Berwald has a gorgeous smile.

"I d'n't think it''s h'rmful." he tells you, opening the door all the way.

**Look outside** ==

Standing on the pavement outside the door is the cutest little thing you have ever seen in your life. She's the fluffiest, whitest dog in the universe and you immediately love her.

"Oh my gosh, she's _adorable!_" you exclaim, kneeling and holding out your hand for her to sniff. "Where did you come from, sweetheart?" you ask. The dog yips, turns and trots a ways ahead, then looks back at you and yips again.

"She wants us to follow her, I think!" you say.

"It m'ght b' a tr'p." Berwald warns you, as you seem all too eager to follow this dog anywhere.

"Don't worry, I've got you with me!" you reply. Berwald's cheeks go a bit pink, and he follows you as the dog leads the way through some alleys and down a street.

Eventually, you end up in an old church. Berwald is looking around for any suspicious activity as the dog leads you to one of the pews, wherein lies the second cutest thing you have seen all day.

"Berwald!" you exclaim in a hushed voice. "You'd better take a look at this!"

A little boy, hardly older than eleven, is lying unconscious on the cushioned bench. He has messy blond hair and thick eyebrows and oh shit he's injured.

A wound on his stomach is spilling blood onto the pew, and the boy's breaths are haggard and weak. The dog yips again, jumping onto the pew and nuzzling the boy's hand. This is too precious and too sad for your heart to take. Luckily, Berwald is right by your side.

**Take him home ==**

After you do your best to stop the bleeding(it was a werewolf bite, unfortunately for the little kid), Berwald picks him up, and you pick the dog up, and you head back to the theater where you find Lukas who grabs the medical kit.

Berwald sets the kid down in one of the hammocks backstage, and Lukas tends to his wounds.

"Poor kid..." you say, petting the dog. "I wonder what happened? Smart of him to take refuge in a church... most nefarious critters can't stand that kind of place."

"I'm s're he'll b' fine." Berwald assures you. "That d'g f'nd us j'st 'n time."

The dog looked proud.

"She's a very Good dog." you agree. "Just the kind I wanted to have when I was that kid's age."

A moment of comfortable silence passes between you two.

"Wh't did y' want t' be when y' grew up?" Berwald asks suddenly.

"A mosquito." you say. Berwald smirks. "Actually... I didn't really have anything in mind for adulthood. I remember planning out my future wedding, like every other little girl, and imagining myself an epic tree house with slides and a swimming pool... but I never thought about what I wanted to do. When I was a teenager, I kinda wanted to be a chef, but... my parents refused to sign me up for cooking classes after I set fire to what was going to be a nice bowl of cereal."

Something amazing happens.

Berwald starts _laughing._

"What?" you ask.

"You." he says. "You're too cute."

You both pause as the two of you realize what he just said.

Before anything else can be done, Lukas pokes his head into the room.

"Hey, the kid's awake." he says.

Immediately, you both get to your feet and follow the Norwegian backstage. The dog runs alongside you, and she rushes over and jumps into the boy's lap.

He's got adorable blue eyes and a bright look about him.

**Say hi ==**

"Hi!" you say to him. "I'm Tino! I'm very glad you're alright! What's your name?"

"I'm Peter Kirkland!" the kid says in a cute British accent. He looks over at Berwald. "Who are you?" he asks in a voice that's politely curious, apparently not intimidated by the Swede.

"I'm B'rw'ld." Berwald says in a slightly uncomfortable tone.

"Nice to meet you!" Peter says, hugging his dog. "This is Hanatamago! It means Flower Egg or something like that."

"She's a very nice dog." you say, sitting down next to the kid's hammock. "She's the one who led us to you."

"Hana's really smart!" Peter says proudly.

"How old are you, Peter?"

"Ten!" he proclaims.

"S' wh't h'ppened?" Berwald asks.

You're about to shush him, thinking that the kid probably doesn't want to talk about the experience, when Peter begins talking.

"It was the coolest thing!" he says. "This huge wolf with yellow eyes jumped right out at me! Hana started barking at it, but then it almost ate her so we ran. I grabbed the lid off a trash can to use as a shield, but I tripped and dropped it. The wolf bit me-and it really hurt, but I didn't cry!- and then Hana scared it off and led me into the church!"

**Uh... wow ==**

"What a dog..." you say quietly.

"Th't m'ns yer a w'rewolf now." Berwald tells Peter.

"Uh-huh!" Peter says. "I figured that out myself!"

"And you're not upset about it?" you ask. The kid shrugs.

"I know werewolves are mostly evil, but I don't feel very Wicked..." he says. "And I've heard that there are nice werewolves, too! So I'm gonna be a heroic werewolf and save people! I'm gonna practice turning into a wolf as soon as Hana lets me out of bed!"

The dog lies down on her master's lap, as if saying "you aren't going anywhere, kid."

"Are you hungry?" you ask the kid.

"Starved!" he says.

As you and Lukas go to fetch some food, you can hear Berwald and Peter conversing.

"Is Tino your wife?" the younger blond asks, causing you to nearly drop the fork you're carrying.

"V'mpires d'n't m'rry humans." Berwald says.

"He's a vampire? Cool!" Peter exclaims. "Now I can say I've met both a werewolf and a vampire and lived to tell the tale!"

"Little boys are indestructible." Lukas mutters to you.

"Seriously." you mutter back. "If I were him, I'd probably be in tears."

"D' y' h've a family?" Berwald asks Peter.

"I have Hana..." Peter says. "And that's all I need!"

**Aww ==**

"We c'n b' yer family, if y' want." Berwald says.

"R... really?" Peter asks in a hopeful tone which makes your heart swell.

"'f course." Berwald says. "Yer tough 'nd opt'm'stic. I th'nk y' fit in perf'ctly."

You're fairly certain that you've fallen in love with Berwald.

"Lukas doesn't seem very optimistic..." Peter remarks. You smirk at your friend.

"No, but he's m're th'n though enough t' make up fer that." Berwald says.

"Hana can be part of the family too, right?" Peter asks.

"Definitely!" you say as you and Lukas reenter the room. "I can't imagine a Good family without a smart and loyal dog to protect it!"

Lukas hands the plate to Peter, and you give him the almost-dropped fork and a glass of water.

"Thanks!" he says, taking several gulps of the water before getting started on, pardon the pun, _wolfing_ down the bacon.

In fact, he seems quite... _over the moon._

His appetite would give anyone... _paws._

The food must have really been something to... _howl_ over.

**Fuck yeah ==**

Alright, those puns were terrible, but come on! These guys are giving me hardly anything to work with! Writing about werewolves and vampires totally... _bites._

Seriously, keeping them in character while still having them be blood drinkers absolutely... _sucks._

This is a story I really need to... _sink my teeth_ into.

Even so, it's _bloody_ fun to write.

I'm absolutely... _batty_ about this fanfic.

Alright, I'm done.

* * *

**Not sure, but I ****_think_**** Peter And The Wolf is an orchestral thing... it just seemed to fit.**

**IDK why I put in that whole bit about musicals... I'm kind of a theater geek, so when I realized how cool it was that these people are living in a theater I ****_had_**** to write something about it.**


	9. You're Beautiful

**Be the bratty teenager ==**

You are now Jia-Long.

You and Emil have just gotten off the train, and are now beginning your search for the theater. And, might I add, you have fallen head-over-heels in love with the ghost.

Sheesh, everyone's falling in love in this story! There must be some kind of epidemic going around!

You constantly berate yourself for falling in love with someone so unattainable, but there's nothing you can do. If he was alive, then you'd be nothing but confidence and love, but fate works in cruel ways.

If you were any less of a human, you'd just prevent Emil from finding his brother so that you could have him forever, but that would be mean and terrible and you hate yourself for even imagining it.

Honestly. Teenagers and their angst.

Why don't we be Emil instead? At least _his_ angst will be for Good reason.

_Hey!_

**Be Emil ==**

You are now the sweetest ghost in the history of Ghostbusters.

Honestly, you can hardly believe that someone actually offered to help you find your brother! And it's the head vampire's secretary's younger brother, no less!

You're actually beginning to believe that you're gonna find Lukas!

Gosh, this kid is, like, _anti_ angst! Even though he's dead and kind of a depressing guy! Jia-Long, are you taking notes?

Anyway, the two of you are on a break from your mission because Jia-Long is hungry and looking for food. You're following him, keeping an eye out for anything edible. You don't exactly want your guide to starve, even though he is kind of a bitch.

_Hey, I like him._

Aww, Emil and Jia-Long, sitting in a tree!

_Finish that and you'll be deader than I am._

Geez, you're just as pissy as the Hong Konger. Forget what I said earlier; I hate you both.

**Cruelly ignore the smart and pretty narrator in an ungentlemanly manner ==**

Fuck you.

Jia-Long has found a can of beans and is eating with gusto. You almost chuckle at the sight. Almost.

"Mm, these aren't half bad..." he remarks.

"I wish I was still able to eat." you sigh.

"Oh, sorry I mentioned it..." the brunet says.

"No, it's alright." you reply. "I shouldn't be bugging you with my troubles."

"Stop making me feel like a spoiled brat." Jia-Long complains.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was always complaining about my life... and I do mean always." Jia-Long says. "A lot. But it turns out that I'm pretty darn lucky. I'm alive and human and pretty high up on the food chain and my brother's practically _dating_ the head vampire and here you are, being a little trooper even though you're dead and hanging out with a spoiled brat."

"Wait," you say, "your brother's _dating_ the head vampire? But all I've ever heard growing up is that it's impossible for those higher on the hierarchy to feel romantic emotions."

"I meant to say that my brother's desperately in love with the head vampire," Jia-Long explains, "and that the boss likes having him around."

"Ah." you say.

A moment passes.

"I don't think you're very bad, for a spoiled brat." you say.

"Thanks." Jia-Long says, rolling his eyes.

"I'm trying to compliment you, you know." you say exasperatedly. "Not many spoiled brats would go to such lengths to help a ghost find his brother."

"I'm not exactly sure why I'm even doing this." he admits. "I mean, it's the right thing to do, and you're pretty cool, but normally I don't really care much about ghosts... no offense... and I'm usually not _this_ reckless about breaking Yao's rules."

"Maybe I'm special." you say, raising a ghostly eyebrow.

**Maybe you're a little bitch in hooker boots ==**

"Maybe I've lost my mind." Jia-Long says. "But if that's the case, then it's not half bad..."

"Aren't you the guy who advocates losing one's mind?" you ask. "You told me yourself that your crazy is a classy crazy."

"And you're holding to it better than I am." Jia-Long says. "I think I might have just said that so I could try to be unique like every other teen who wants to be unique and why on earth am I telling you all this I thought I was supposed to be cool and mysterious."

"You're not cool and mysterious." you whisper with a chuckle. "You're funny and kind and weird and much more fun than 'cool and mysterious'. Now stop beating yourself up; it's unbecoming."

Jia-Long looks up at you.

"It seems that you're helping me more on this trip than I've been helping you." he says.

"What did I say about beating yourself up?" you ask. "I think you're doing a fine job, so shut up before I change my mind."

"You know what? Thanks. I really mean that." Jia-Long says. "I didn't figure hanging out with ghosts could be so emotionally stabilizing. Well, let's get a move on. I'm sure you miss your brother."

"Don't you miss yours?" you ask.

"Not particularly." Jia-Long shrugs. "Sometimes, we can go months without seeing each other."

**Feel pity for Jia-Long ==**

You fail to feel pity for him. Your situation is much more pitiable and, frankly, you're starting to get a bit annoyed with your friend.

"Come on, let's keep looking." you sigh, floating ahead.

Jia-Long follows, and you glance back only once to notice a slightly concerned expression on his face.

If you've hurt his feelings, then you don't care. He was being a prick and he deserves it.

Since you've been dead, you haven't experienced fatigue or cold, so you kinda forget that those things exist.

Jia-Long, on the other hand...

"Look, it's getting cold and my legs are tired. I hate to complain, but I really can't match your ghostly energy. Can we stop for a while?"

"Alright." you reply, though he has to strain to hear you.

The two of you find shelter in an unidentifiable building. It's basically one huge, spacious room, tiled and wallpapered in uniform white. In the center of the room sits a white grand piano.

"Cool." Jia-Long says, immediately heading for the piano. You roll your eyes, knowing that this guy is probably gonna get himself killed someday.

"Be careful." you hiss.

"Come on, no creature would _dare_ hurt me." he says. "I'm too important. Besides, I've got you with me. What could go wrong?"

**Oh fuck ==**

That question. You hate that question with a burning passion. You decide not to answer him, as he totally deserves whatever happens to him next.

"Whatever." you say, hanging back as he starts playing "Ode To Joy".

You notice it before he does, but you don't have a chance to warn him, because suddenly there's a hand clamped over your mouth, which is surprising because hey, you're immaterial.

"Who dares enter my quarters?" a voice hisses in your ear. "You've got some nerve, little pale one. Did you not know that this room and piano are sacred?"

You can't really answer that, as a hand is clamped over your mouth.

Jia-Long looks up from the piano and jumps at the sight of whatever is holding you captive. You wish you could see it, but at the same time, you're glad you can't.

"Wh... who are you?" your traveling companion asks. "_What_ are you?"

"My name is Roderich." the entity says. "And you two... are trespassers." he lets go of you, and you float-stumble-whatever forward and hurry over next to Jia-Long. Instinctively, he takes a step forward, even though he really doesn't have much of a chance protecting you. You look over at the entity.

In the center of a slowly swirling column of black smoke, there stands a man well-dressed in purple, with dark hair and rectangular glasses and piercing violet eyes. He looks majorly pissed off right now.

Honestly, he looks kind of... fruity.

He's still terrifying, though.

**Get the hell out of here ==**

You're not going anywhere, hon. He's blocking the only exit.

"Listen..." Jia-Long says coolly. "This is obviously a big misunderstanding. If you'll just step aside, Good sir, we'll get out of your hair and I'll put in a Good word for you with the head vampire..." he's trying to make a subtle threat.

"_That_ pompous nitwad?" Roderich asks, nearly amused. "I could crush him like a cockroach."

"Actually, cockroaches are rather hardy..." Jia-Long says.

"Enough." says Roderich, and that actually manages to get Jia-Long to shut up. Must me magic...

"Please let us go." you whisper, almost crying in fear. This man is a wraith, and wraiths can hurt ghosts quite easily.

Actually, this author knows next to nothing about wraiths, so she's gonna take a break from this plotline so she can contact her informant.

* * *

**Idk. I was just thinking of that song that goes "you're beautiful**

**You're beautiful**

**It's true**

**I saw your face**

**In a crowded place" etc. and that became this chapter title...?**

**Apparently, "nitwad" is not a word. Isn't that sad?**


	10. Canadian Please

**To another plotline! ==**

Suddenly, you are that guy... you know the one. The guy who's not a werewolf in this story... he's a vampire, this time... that guy...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY'S NAME?

**To The Internet! ==**

Oh.

It's Matthew Williams.

Your name is Matthew Williams, and I totally knew that already.

_Suuure you did._

Shut up! It's been a long day, Marv!

_My name is-_

I said shut yer trap, or I'll have ye swab the deck.

_You're a pirate, now?_

Listen, I still have the opportunity to kill you or your future loved one off. Don't make me do that.

_Ugh, fine._

Good.

**AS I WAS SAYING ==**

Your name is MATTHEW WILLIAMS and you are in vampire HQ, also known as Chicago Overcoat. Hey, you didn't choose the name. The head vampire did.

You're the head vampire's best enemy's apprentice-type-thing.

And you also had the honor of being turned/your virginity being taken by the head vampire's best enemy.

Who is also your stepfather.

Yeah, your unlife is pretty damn screwy. And I mean screwy in _both_ senses of the word, if you know what I mean wink wink nudge nudge.

Uh... never mind.

You are talking to a new recruit about stuff and junk like that.

"So... what was life like before you got turned?" you ask.

"Eh, I don't remember." the new recruit says. "This is so much better, anyway!"

He's one of those vampires who becomes completely Wicked after being turned. You were a bit nuts at first, but then it turned out that people noticed you as a vampire so you've cooled down. This guy, however, seems completely deranged and doesn't remember his life at all.

"You really don't remember a thing?" you ask.

"There was this guy I didn't like..." he says. "And some guy who liked pasta... and this other guy... man, I wish I could drain him; I bet he's delicious..."

**Be seriously disturbed ==**

Nothing disturbs you anymore. You're jaded.

"Who?" you ask.

"Uh... I don't remember his name." he says sheepishly. "I don't even remember his blood type... but if I ever see him again, I'll be sure to drain him completely!" he adds, baring his fangs.

"Are you trying to be silly, or do you actually think you're intimidating?" you ask.

"Ha! You're a funny one, Mattie!" he says.

"If you say so." you sigh.

"So what's _your_ deal?" he asks.

You think back to your odd life of having Francis Bonnefoy for a stepfather. You remember being told that you have a brother, but you never knew him. You remember being turned and the... _other_ event that happened that same day. You remember meeting the head vampire and his secretary, and getting hired as a recruiter/jailer and keeper of the polar bear.

Yeah, you guys have a polar bear.

"Eh, my life wasn't very interesting." you say dismissively. "I didn't even have any slightly-incestuous moments leading to where I am now. Definitely not any of those. Heavens, no."

"Whatever you say." the new recruit says with a shrug. "I got turned by some Russian girl. Totally showed her who's boss after I recovered from the shock of it."

"Don't ever let the head vampire hear you say that." you warn him. "He likes everyone to be civil and gentlemanly, even when he's biting their necks."

"Sounds like a real bore..." he sighs.

"It's not so bad..." you say,

**Question further into this mysterious stranger's life ==**

"Are you sure you don't remember anything else?" you ask. "Favorite foods? Old pets? Love interests? Horrid teachers?"

"I think I liked Danishes..." he says thoughtfully, running a tongue across his fangs. "And I once had a golden retriever named Siv, but she was a stray... she didn't like the theater much... hey, I lived in an abandoned theater! Some stuff's comin' back to me!"

"Good! It's always nice to remember your life." you say.

"Yeah, I guess." he says nonchalantly. "One time, I brought home a kitten for Feli, the pasta-loving kid, but it died... we told him that it ran away, though. And as for horrid teachers, I never did go to school, but Berwald taught me some things... he always said I was hopeless, of course... and then I would punch him... and somebody would pull me away by the collar to keep me from getting hurt, but I don't remember who.

"And there was this other kid, Emil, who died, and that one guy was really sad for some reason... and one of my friends was this kid who ran off a while back... his name was Alfred."

"Alfred?" you ask. "Alfred Jones?"

"Yeah." he says. "Mean anything to ya?"

"I've been told that's the name of my half-brother... I never knew him." you say.

"Huh." the new recruit says. "He was pretty cool, I guess. Reminded me of me, but less amazing."

If you're related to a guy who's anything like this guy, you're gonna kill yourself.

**Oh wait that won't work you're already dead ha ha ha ==**

_Go fuck yourself._

Language, Birdie~

_Is that your lazy attempt at foreshadowing?_

Oh, you want foreshadowing?

"You know what? Feli was a strange kid..." the new recruit says. "I always told him he'd be the one to turn this overtaking around... the one to kill the head vampire... as if I'd let him do that now! Ha! How would a wimp like him even begin to try to hurt the boss? With love? Pfft, I'd like to see him try!"

"You know what?" you reply. "I'll bet my unlife that he could do it and that he will do it and that you'll regret underestimating him." then you remember that you're supposed to be on the side of the vampires, so you quickly force a laugh. "Just kidding!" you lie. "You're probably right. Love is weak and for fools and stuff."

"You said it!" he says.

"Say, what was your name again?" you ask. You're really bad with names.

"Mathias Kohler." he says.

*Shocked!*

* * *

**The Brits have got the monarchy, **

**The US got the money but**

**I know that you want to be Canadian!**

**Francis you sick fuck you haven't even appeared in this story and you're already making me uncomfortable.**


	11. It's A Small World After All

**Back to our favorite moron ever ==**

"So what's _your_ story?" you ask, after having gone through every trivial detail of your life including your favorite and least favorite kinds of pasta.

"Me?" Feliks smirks. "I'm just a wannabe canary from an Apple in Michigan who was behind on the grind. I liked it all the way and I was trying to learn to play the gobble-pipe. I was known for a positively electric honey cooler and my aim with a Chicago typewriter. My best pally was a guy named Toris. He was a bit of a curve and a dead hoofer at times, but he was one fine pip and hard boiled, though it was sort of hard to tell.

"We were out and about on the streets none too far from this speakeasy, and this vampire chisler shows up, offerin' us protection from the brunos of the night. Toris was always a bit of a coward, and accepted after some bleedin'. I, however, was not so easy to persuade. That cat had the bulge on us, however, and I barely escaped with my life. Toris was not so fortunate.

"They got him, and he's working for them now, and it was a real brodie to just let him go with them. Good riddance, I say now! He was such a drag and a real wet blanket and a total abercrombie and he never appreciated what a fine moll he had in me and all I can say is he deserves to be a soulless creature of the night and- _oh god I miss him!_" Feliks exclaims, breaking down into tears.

**Be a Good source of comfort ==**

"Aw, I'm so sorry!" you say, patting his back. "Hey... the vampire's name wasn't Ivan, was it?" you ask. You remember those two talking about a Toris.

"As a matter of fact, it was." Feliks says through his tears.

"That was the name of the vampire who attacked me!" you say. "Small world, hmm?"

Feliks keeps on crying.

"Come now, I'm sure we'll be able to get this mess sorted and reunite you with Toris!" you say. "I bet he isn't even Wicked! After all, that super nice vampire I was telling you about works as kind of a double-agent and he's really Goodhearted! I bet if you're instinctively Good or have excellent self-control, then you don't become Wicked as a vampire!"

"I ain't worried about that!" Feliks says. "I'm worried about what those no-Good crumbs are doing to him! Toris was always so sweet and such a doormat! And I never liked the way Ivan would look at him! Toris always protected me but I can't do the same for him! I love him, dammit! And I know he never felt the same, seeing how he would look at that Natalya broad like she was an angel on earth, but I still want to _do_ something for him!"

You give Feliks a hug.

"Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure everything works out in the end." you say. "Tino wouldn't let anyone hurt another nice vampire, and I can give you directions on how to get to the area where I was living. Those vampires aren't too far from there, so you can go and rescue Toris."

"Really?" Feliks hiccups. "That would be so swell of you!"

You spend the next half hour going over directions before you notice Antonio slipping up to the cafe.

**Follow that Spaniard! ==**

"Hey, think you've got it?" you ask the Pole. He nods. You get up and follow Antonio.

You find him and Lovi sitting across from each other, Antonio is talking at him and Lovino is just staring.

"And _that's_ why turtles are my favori- oh hi, Feli!" Antonio says to you, waving you over. You sit down, forming a kind of triangle with the three of you.

"Hi, Toni! Hi Lovi!" you say. Lovi does not respond. "I missed you..." you tell him. "A lot. No one could ever be an overly-protective-yet-cowardly-foul-mouthed older brother like you were."

Lovi flips you off, which is more of a reaction than you've ever gotten from his zombie self.

"He just gave me the finger!" you exclaim. "He's starting to act like himself again!"

"Huh, really? He's quite a character..." Antonio remarks. Lovino glares at him.

"He's reacting really well!" you say. "Zombies don't usually take offense to things, you know!"

"I wonder why he isn't like the rest of them?" Antonio asks.

"Lovi was always very unique~" you say in a teasing tone. "He would yell at me a lot, and I think he picked up his bad habit of swearing from Mathias, and he really loved tomatoes... he remembered our Grandpa a lot better than I do, and would tell me stories about him!"

"Oh, how sweet!" Antonio says. "I hope we figure out a way around this zombie thing so I can get to know you properly, Lovi!"

And then two words falls out of your brother's dead mouth. You and Antonio both jump in shock, staring at Lovi like he just turned into a unicorn. Two sad, unpracticed words that might have one or a hundred meanings.

"Why me?"

**G-A-S-P ==**

* * *

**It's A Small World comes from Disneyland.**

**I hope that song is now stuck in your head.**

**Hey, a new chapter posted so soon after the last one? What is this, Sparta? I'm kinda on a roll here with writing chapters and decided to celebrate by posting this earlier than planned.**

**Can you decipher any of what Poland's saying?**


	12. Firework

**Be the brat ==**

You are now the brat, and the brat is you.

Now that the author has consulted her informant, she knows how to proceed.  
To you, Roderich looks like nothing more than a vast whirlwind of tattered cloth and smoke with two burning violet eyes, sharp claws and white fangs.

"OK so what is going on here Emil what is happening?" you ask "calmly".

"He's a wraith." Emil whimpers.

"A _what?_" you ask.

"You don't know?" drawls Roderich. "We're not too different from ghosts, except much more powerful. You're little friend here is like a faint star in the sky next to the noonday's sun. Oh, don't give me that look, I may appear to be tatters and rags to a scumling mortal such as _you,_ but that icy kid can see me as I appeared when I was human."

"He dresses well." Emil says.

"I see no reason not to carry style on to the afterlife." Roderich says. He might be shrugging, but you can't tell. "Enough stalling, however. You two are trespassers and I assure you, I can cause harm to the both of you."

"And I believe you!" you assure him. "Seriously, if you just let us leave-"

Suddenly, Emil gasps in pain. The wraith has one clawed hand outstretched, pointing right at your friend. He's doubled over and you can see silver tears running down his face.

"Emil!" you exclaim. You want to hold him, but he's insubstantial, remember? You glare at the wraith. "Stop it!"

"Or what? You'll _angst_ at me?" Roderich asks coolly, beckoning with his outstretched claw. Emil is pulled towards him, and even though you know it's hopeless you reach out for him.

**Offer yourself ==**

"Don't hurt him!" you say. "I'll do anything!"

"Anything?" Roderich asks. "But all I really want is to watch your dear little boyfriend writhe in agony..."

"Then why not me?" you ask.

"Because it's also funny to see how worked up you're getting over this." the wraith said nonchalantly, squeezing his fist and making Emil look like he wants to scream. "However, if _you_ want some physical pain, too, that can be arranged..."

"Only if you let Emil go." you say.

"You are not in a position to bargain, young one." Roderich says. "You're just a kid living in the shadow of your brothers and you've closed yourself off from people because they always end up hurting you. Kiku ran off, Yao treats you like a baby... Mei and Yong Soo cared, but you never paid them any mind."

How does this guy know all these things about you?

"And now, the one person you're finally starting to care for is the one you're going to have to let go of the soonest." Roderich continues. "This is just the sort of thing my ex-wife would like, I'm sure. She always had a thing for tragic romances."

You're pretty sure Emil would be blushing if he weren't in such crippling agony.

"Who said anything about a romance?" you ask quickly.

"You did, with the way you're being so overprotective of a mere ghost." Roderich says. "The way you're immediately ready to sacrifice yourself for someone you've only known a short amount of time. The way your cheeks are heating up right now. I know love when I see it, kid, and I can see it right now."

While the entity is going on about that, he has been ignoring Emil. The ghost can't go anywhere, but he can move his arms and hands, and he appears to be signaling to you. You keep your eyes on Roderich so he doesn't suspect anything, but you watch your friend with your peripheral vision.

Emil first motions to the piano, and then moves his fingers like he's playing it. Then he hits his left fist against his right palm.

Destroy the piano.

_Uh... why?_

**Who cares? Just destroy it ==**

But how? You don't have any heavy, blunt instruments, and you're nowhere near strong enough to hurt it without some tool.

Emil rolls his eyes and makes a new series of motions. First, he mimes striking a match. Then, he mimes lighting a fuse. He makes a downward squiggle with his index finger, like a flame eating up said fuse, then he makes a little explosion with his hands.

Oh right, you have firecrackers in your backpack.

You shift the bag slightly, asking for affirmation. Emil nods, then points to himself, moves his hand like somebody talking, then points to Roderich.

He's going to distract the wraith.

It's a foolish idea, but hey, you're all about foolish ideas.

"What do you intend to do to us?" Emil asks. "You realize that if you hurt Jia-Long, you'll have every supernatural in the nation after you, right?"

"Not _every_ supernatural creature." Roderich says. You're slowly reaching into your pocket and pulling out a book of matches. "Some of them don't like being, well, supernatural creatures." the wraith continues, not noticing you. "I'm sure they'll be glad to see him gone."

"You heartless bastard." Emil says coldly. You almost drop your lit match, having no idea that he could swear.

"Now you're getting it." Roderich says.

"No wonder your wife left you." Emil says. "If this is how you treat kids... well! It just shows what a coward you are, picking on people who are weaker than you. At least Jia-Long had the guts to stand up to you! Why, I bet if the positions were reversed, you'd be cowering in fea- ah!"

Roderich is hurting him again. You grit your teeth as you struggle to light your firecracker as quickly as you can without being conspicuous.

"You have no right to judge me, puny ghost." Roderich hisses. "You have no idea what I've been through! Watching everybody I ever loved die in front of me! Well, Elizaveta left and as far as I know she's in Hungary right now but that's beside the point! You're just a kid; how could you possibly understand what agony I've put up with?"

"Because I've been through some crap myself?" Emil suggests.

"You know nothing!" Roderich exclaims, throwing him against the wall. "You're just like him! Just like Vash! He never understood, either!"

**Go go gadget firecracker! ==**

The fuse is lit, and you toss the firecracker over to the piano. Hopefully, it'll do some damage, because you're really freaking mad at this damn wraith.

It lands on the keys, and the discordant noise makes Roderich look over.

"What are you- OH CRAP!"

Boom bam, baby!

I mean... KABLOOIE!

Suddenly, Emil is right next to you.

"Run." he whispers.

You don't need to be told twice.

You two barely make it before the firecracker goes off, and the wraith screams an inhumanly scream of anguish.

Emil starts laughing.

It's a quiet, breathy laugh, but it's too cute for words.

"What's your story, morning glory?" you ask in an irate voice. "I thought you were in some considerable pain back there!"

"I was!" Emil whispers, still chuckling. "But that was just so cool! I can't believe we got away with that! We totally showed that jerk who's boss!"

And he attempts to hug you, but passes right through.

"Oh yeah, I'm insubstantial..." he sighs.

"Uh... why did destroying the piano kill him?" you ask.

"Oh, that was the body he had tied himself down to so he wouldn't be dragged away, kicking and screaming, back to the afterlife." Emil says with a shrug. "I don't know how I knew that..."

"Well, you totally saved our respective butts." you say. "I owe you one."

"I'll make sure to remember that." Emil says with a smile. "And hey, don't feel awkward about what Roderich said. He was just trying to mess with you."

**Ah ha ha yeah about that ==**

"Yeah, I know." you say awkwardly.

"Wraiths are such jerks!" Emil says as the two of you begin walking. "I mean, really! He could have just let us go! He had already scared us!"

"Uh-huh." you say, marveling at his Good mood.

"I wonder who Vash was? Some old unrequited love, perhaps?" the Icelander muses.

"Maybe." you say.

**K I'm sick of you again let's go be Berwald ==**

* * *

**"Firework" is by Katy Perry.**

**"Scumling" isn't a word, either. Isn't that dreadful?**

**Anyone catch the Emperor's New Groove reference?**


	13. Love Story

You are now Berwald.

Congratulations, yet ANOTHER goddamn gorgeous guy.

Whoo-hoo.

*Sarcastic clapping*

Both Tino and Lukas are out looking for food, so you're hanging out with Peter and Hanatamago.

"Papa?" Peter asks. He's taken to calling you that, and you honestly don't mind. "Tell me a story!" he says.

"I don't know 'ny g'd ones." you say.

"Tell me about something that happened here, then!" he says.

"Well..." you say, racking your brains for a Good tale. "There w're once s'me other guys l'v'ng here. Th' ones I'm gonna tell y' about are F'liciano, L'vino, and M'thias."

"Ooh, was that the guy Lukas liked?" Peter asks. "I heard Tino mention him!"

Aren't little boys supposed to be grossed out by romance?

**Tell the damn story ==**

"Uh-huh. Th't's th' guy." you nod. "'nyway, Feli and L'vino were sheltered all their l'ves. Lukas never let us t'll th'm 'bout th' monsters outside. Naturally, th'y w're curious, 'nd y' know what they say 'bout curiosity?"

"It killed the cat?" Peter guesses.

"Mm-hmm. W'll, in th's case, it killed L'vino." you say. You're no longer sure if this story is appropriate for children, but come on! This kid got bit by a werewolf and was grinning about it that same day! "They had sn'ked out 'nd bumped into a dread of z'mbies. Lovino held them off so Feliciano could run away. They got him, 'nd as far as we know, they ate him."

"Oh my gosh!" Peter says, thoroughly immersed in the tale.

"Eventually," you continue, "I f'nd Feli, who says he had been attacked by a white werewolf and saved by a gray one. I don't think he ever forgot that werewolf... anyway, I br'ght him home 'nd Mathias went out to look for Lovino. We never did find him."

"Ever?" Peter asks.

**Never ever FOREVER ==**

"Ever." you say. "Now, do you want the story told, or are y' gonna keep interrupting?"

"I'll be Good." he says, hugging Hanatamago.

"Good." you reply. "_anyway,_ five y'rs passed and we taught Feli about the world. Lukas did most of th' teaching, actually. When Feli turned eighteen, Lukas sent him out w'th Mathias to go look for food. They may have been a bit loud, because they were hardly out of the store when _two vampires grabbed them!_"

Peter jumps and makes a noise of shock.

"Golly!" he exclaims. "They weren't nice vampires like Tino, were they?"

"Not in the slightest." you tell him. "There were two of them. Ivan and his sister, Natalya, 'nd they were anything _but_ nice. Feli told me that the one holding him smelled like vodka and blood. The two of them were brought inside, about t' be killed, when a new vampire came in. He managed to claim Feli as his own 'nd took him outside, leaving Mathias t' his grim fate.

"Feli must have been terrified, but th' vampire didn't kill him, because-"

"Because he was Tino, right?" Peter asks.

"What did I say about interrupting?" you ask, though you find it hard not to smile.

"Right, right." Peter says, clamping his hands over his mouth and nodding at you to continue.

"The vampire didn't kill him, because he was working undercover, hoping to keep the vampires he lived with from killing _too_ many innocent humans. He and Feli became fast friends, and despite the loss of Mathias, they arrived home laughing. Of course, _Lukas_ wasn't laughing when he answered the door. You know what the first thing Feli said was?"

Peter shakes his head.

**Tell him ==**

"He said 'This is Tino, he saved my life. Also, I have pinto beans.'"

Peter laughs.

"They came over to where I was to talk things over, and that's when I first saw Tino. Can... can y' keep a secret?" you ask. Normally, you know better than to trust little kids with this kind of secret, but you feel like you can trust Peter.

He nods.

"I'll hold you to that." you tell him. "Anyway, that was the first time I saw Tino and I swear, I h'd never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. I knew right then that I was in love with him."

"What did you do?" Peter asks, unperturbed. "Did you get down on one knee and propose?"

"Well, I didn't exactly have a ring to propose _with._" you say, chuckling. "So I just sat there and stared. I'm sure it was charmingly creepy."

Peter giggles.

"I think I made him a bit uneasy, and Lukas did nothing to help that." you continue. "Of course, that was the night he lost the person he held the most dear, so I can hardly blame him for being a bit chilly. When they told me Mathias was dead... well, he 'nd I never really got along, but I was surprised at how sad I was at the thought of never seeing him again. He w's my best enemy and worst friend, and before that I don't think any of us could have imagined life without him, despite Lukas's constant death threats.

"A while later, Tino brought two men over here; Kiku Honda and Antonio Carriedo. The two of them and Feliciano have set out to seek Abyssinia and maybe even the head vampire, and if our fate rests on Feli then I say we're in Good hands."

Peter is silent for a moment.

"Whoa..." he says. "That was the COOLEST STORY EVER! Mainly because all the stories I was ever told were boring, but still!"

"I'm gl'd y' l'ked it." you say.

"At least _someone_ here does." a cold voice says. You and Peter both turn to see Lukas and Tino in the doorway, the Norwegian leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed. Tino blinks rapidly, then smiles sheepishly and gives a halfhearted wave.

**Oh shit ==**

Well, you've screwed up royally.

"Hey Peter," Lukas says, "who has two thumbs and managed to snatch a pack of hot dogs? This guy. Come on, I bet you're hungry." and with that, the two of them head off to the kitchen, fluffy dog in tow.

Geez, way to abandon Berwald in his moment of awkwardness, Lukas!

You get to your feet, not sure where to look.

"Er... Tino... 'bout that..."

"You're a really Good storyteller, Ber." Tino says with a smile. You are stunned near speechless. "Honestly," he continues, "after you get going, your accent really lightens up! And Peter absolutely loved it, I can tell."

"And... h'w much of it d'd y' hear?" you ask.

"Every word." Tino replied, walking a bit closer to you before pausing and beaming up at you.

You're not sure if your emotions can take this.

"And...?"

Tino chuckles. "Oh Berwald..."

And then he pulls you in for a kiss.

**O ==**

**M ==**

**G ==**

That's kinda what your brain and heart do, but the phrase "OMG" doesn't exist in this time period so it's something equivalent to that.

Tino pulls away and smiles sheepishly at you.

All you can do is kiss him again, so that's what you do.

**A moment of ecstasy later ==**

Someone knocks at the door.

We're gonna switch to Lukas's viewpoint, since Berwald's brain might have just exploded.

**Be Lukas ==**

You are now the Norwegian who's recovering from severe heartbreak.

_Fuck off._

Don't you back-sass me, mister!

Anyway, you figure no one else is really able to get the door right now, so you go to answer it.

First, you pick up a wooden stake and a loaded gun. Then you peer out a nearby window.

Standing outside is a young man who looks human enough. He's got straight blond hair that falls down to his chin, green eyes and a slightly nervous expression. Ordinarily, you'd say it's a trap, but this guy looks too unusual to be suspicious, if that makes any sense.

_It doesn't._

Do you want me to kill Mathias again? I'll do it, you know.

…

Anyway, you open the door just a crack.

"Who are you and what do you want?" you ask.

"Murder! Enough of the affection, you hardly even know me!" he says sarcastically.

"One can hardly afford to be affectionate during a time such as this." you say coldly.

"You're a real curve, you know that?" he asks.

"Goodbye." you say, about to close the door.

"Hey, wait!" the stranger says, putting his foot between the door and the frame. "I'm not trying to chisel you! Feliciano Vargas sent me!"

That gets you.

**Open the door ==**

You leave it where it is.

"I'm listening." you say.

"Good. I don't intend to stay in your cave long, anyway." the stranger says. "My name's Feliks. I met Feliciano at Abyssinia and he told me how to find you and that you would know where Ivan the vampire resides."

"Why would you want to know something like that?" you ask.

"Word is, he has something I hold dear." Feliks says. "I want it back."

"What is it, exactly?" you ask.

"My best friend Toris. You heard of him?"

"Tino's mentioned him..." you say warily.

"I just need to know how to find Ivan's cave, then I'll be out of your hair which, by the way, looks fabulous."

**Ignore the compliment ==**

You open the door a bit more.

"Tino!" you call over your shoulder. "Drop whatever it is you're doing and come over here!"

A moment later, your Finnish friend appears. His hair is a bit ruffled and his cheeks are flushed, which just confirms your suspicions.

"Yes, Lukas?" he asks, eying Feliks cautiously.

"Ever heard of a Toris? Supposedly being held by Ivan?" you ask.

"Uh-huh!" Tino says. "He's pretty nice!"

"Can you tell me how to find him?" Feliks asks. "He and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

"I can take you there myself, if you'd like." Tino offers.

"Really? Great!" Feliks says, a bit surprised by the offer. "Thank you so much!"

"Come on, let's get going!" Tino says. "It shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes to get there!"

And with that, the two of them set off.

"Tell Berwald and Peter where I went!" says Tino.

You nod and close the door.

"It seems everything is happening all of a sudden..." you remark to yourself. "And it seems everything has to do with Feli. Who knows, maybe he could actually have a hand in turning the tables on the vampires...?"

Alright, I'm already extremely bored of you. Let's move on.

* * *

**Hold tight, Liet! Poland's gonna bust you out of there!**

**Love Story is by Taylor Swift.**


	14. Milady

**Now you're... Ludwig. ==**

You are now the uptight German werewolf... guy.

Now that Feliks has set out to find his crush, Gilbert appears to be trying to fill in for him by being even more noisy than usual, much to your chagrin.

Feliciano is sleeping, and he happened to put his sleeping bag right next to yours, so you're sitting there with a book in your hands but it's hard to pay attention to it when you're right next to him. What bothers you is that you can't figure out why he's so distracting. Sure, you've got this urge to keep him safe, but he isn't in any immediate danger and sure, he sings really well, but he sure as heck isn't singing right now!

You sigh, running a hand through your already-pristine hair. You haven't been this frustrated and yet calm since you _first_ met him. You were both quite young, and you weren't(and still aren't) sure what made you save him. I mean, back then you weren't part of Abyssinia, so you just lived off of what you could, no matter what(or who) it was.

"Ve..." Feliciano says, startling you a bit. "Pasta..." oh. He's talking in his sleep.

**How cute ==**

No! You refuse to think of him as cu- oh who are you kidding? He's adorable and there's no denying that.

Ugh, he's seriously messing you up. You're used to being in control of everything, especially your emotions, and then this Italian came into your life and turned everything upside down. And Gilbert has noticed and begun teasing you. Oh, you can't wait til _he_ finds someone he likes! Then you can just laugh and withhold any advice he may beg for!

Future blackmail material aside, you're beginning to realize that every fiber of your being belongs to this silly Italian boy.

_'Oh fuck, I like him.' _you think to yourself with a sigh. _'Well _duh._ It's a wonder I didn't figure it out sooner...'_

Maybe you were just trying to deny your feelings, or maybe you're just thick. Either way, you know you're in deep shit now and that's what counts.

Too bad there's no one you feel comfortable talking to about this with...

"Konichiwa, Ludwig-san."

**Holy shit ==**

You jump slightly, turning to glare at whoever dare intrude your thoughts.

"Oh. Kiku. What can I do for you?" you ask. You find Kiku a Good man to be around; he's smart and quiet and very obedient.

"I couldn't help but notice that you dropped your bookmark," the Japanese man says, "and it looks like you have lost your place."

You look at the floor. Indeed, the dried leaf you were using as a bookmark has slipped out from between the pages of your book. You pick it up and put in in the index, knowing you can always find your place later.

"Thank you." you say.

"You're welcome." Kiku replies. "And... ano... you've been staring at Feliciano-kun for the past five minutes. Is something bothering you?"

Either your crush on Feliciano is obvious or Kiku is the most observant person in the room. You're hoping for the latter.

"Well..." you're not sure what to say. You know he'll see right through you if you lie, but you're not sure if you're ready to talk about this. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"You can talk to me about it, if you wish." Kiku says.

**Complain ==**

"Ever since he arrived here, our food supplies have lowered dramatically..." you sigh, deciding to talk about a slightly different thing. "He hasn't done a single thing to aid us and I keep having to prevent Gilbert from messing with him. He can't take care of himself and he talks in his sleep, keeping me awake, and no one here besides Antonio likes having his brother around and frankly, I'm getting fed up!" You say that last bit loudly, but Feliciano keeps on sleeping with that damned enchanting smile on his face.

"He's a bit of a handful, I know..." Kiku says. "But Heracles was just telling me that morale around here has been raising dramatically, and that's most likely due to Feliciano-kun."

"I'd trade all the morale in the world for a properly filling dinner." you sigh.

"Have you tasted the food that Feliciano-kun makes?" Kiku asks. "Everyone here seems to love it..."

"It's nothing to get excited over." you reply.

"You haven't tried it." Kiku deduced. You nod. He sighs. "Forgive me for saying it, Ludwig-san, but you are really stubborn."

"That's why I'm still alive." you say.

"It's why you're still single." Kiku mutters.

"What was that?" you ask.

"Nothing." he says dismissively. "The point is, I think Feliciano-kun could turn this revolution around. No, really! Not by killing the head vampire or anything, but by sharing his story and inspiring the rest of us. My apologies if I have offended you, but this is just my opinion."

**Don't be silly, Feliciano's an idio- wait... ==**

You look around and, for the first time, notice how happy everyone seems to be. There's laughter in the air, and you can hear several discussions about Feliciano, most of which are complimentary. Some of the pickiest eaters can be seen heartily eating the pasta that Feliciano had made, and a couple of people are singing songs they learned from him.

The atmosphere in the room is considerably lighter than it has been in a long while, and the room is abuzz with hope. Every other time that new people joined, the older members would grumble about having to share rations, but now everyone seemed chipper despite the zombie in the cafe and the idiot right in front of you, snoozing the afternoon away.

**Oh. ==**

"You're right, Kiku." you sigh. "He's just what this force needs."

"If more of us valued his ways - food and cheer above fighting and pride - it would be a merrier world." the werecat says before getting up to go talk to Heracles.

It's then that Feliciano wakes up.

He sits up and yawns, stretching, before opening his eyes and looking around.

"Ciao, Ludwig~" he says. "I just had a dream about a lot of dwarves and one short person with hairy feet... isn't that odd? There was also a wizard there..."

"Sounds like an interesting dream..." you remark. "I can't remember the last time I had one..."

"You can't remember the last time you dreamed?" Feliciano asks, straightening a bit. "Wow, that must be weird! Are you getting enough sleep, Ludwig? Sometimes, all one needs is an extra siesta during the day, and-"

"I'm fine, Feli." you say.

The Italian gasps.

"You called me 'Feli'!" he exclaims happily. "Yay! You calling me 'Feliciano' all the time just sounded so uptight!"

You merely roll your eyes, painfully aware of how in love you are with this foolish human.

* * *

**Here, have some GerIta.**

**Milady is from the musical Starmites, and it is one of my favorite love songs ever.**

**Ano = uh/er**


	15. A Thousand Years

**Be Feliks ==**

You are now Feliks. Tino has a hard time understanding you, so you're trying to cut back on your use of slang. It's hard, but the Fin says you'll get the hang of it.

"And then we make a right here..." he tells you. "And the Braginski house is just as the end of the street! Now, we'd probably best pretend like I'm gonna eat you or something, so act like you're scared of me, OK?"

You laugh.

"Scared? Of _you?_" you ask. "I've seen rabbits scarier than you!"

"Hey, I'm your ticket to get in there. Don't piss me off." Tino warns in a dark voice, but his eyes are sparkling. "You said you wanted to be an actress, right? Then _act_ like I'm terrifying!"

You roll your eyes.

"Ugh, fine. How's this? _Oh dearie me,_" you exclaim in your best damsel voice, "_I've been kidnapped by this strong, stoic vampire who wants to suck my blooood! I'm so scared!_"

"Sounds perfect." Tino says. "You're definitely in character."

"I was born to act." you shrug. "I'm _sooo_ jealous that you guys get to hang out in a theater! I wish I could've stayed longer, but that grumpy guy was giving me the Wicked eye something _fierce._"

"Lukas can be mean," Tino chuckles, "but he's really just a heartbroken old sap."

"Oh yeah, Feli mentioned that..." you say. "A shame. Mathias sounded like a real humdinger of a guy..."

"Is humdinger a word?" Tino asks.

You shrug.

**Change the subject ==**

"So we go in, grab Toris and get out?" you ask.

"That's the plan." Tino says. "I don't talk to him much, though, so he may not be interested in being rescued."

"I'm rescuing him whether he likes it or not." you say simply. "I hate it when I get all dolled up for nothing!"

The two of you arrive at the house, which is fairly large and in surprisingly Good condition. It looks desolate and un-lived in, however, which is to be expected for a house of vampires. Tino raises a finger to his lips and grabs your wrist, so the two of you can pretend like he's gonna drink your blood if you get caught.

He opens the door as silently as vampirically possible, and leads you up a flight of old stairs. You can't help but scoff at the interior decorating; what is this, eighteen ninety? Sheesh.

Tino is looking around, keeping an eye out for the other vampires. You, on the other hand, are looking at your nails, thinking about the Good old days when you were terrified of meeting new people and Toris always had to help you make friends... and then he got taken from you, and you had to learn to be self-sufficient. You're still nervous around strangers, but you manage to keep it to yourself. It's hard to be shy around the Fin, though, because he practically _bleeds_ friendliness.

Same with Feli, you suppose. Feli was nice to you from the beginning, despite your earlier qualms about housing his brother.

**Pay attention to your surroundings, dammit! ==**

_Alright! Alright! Geez..._

The two of you have reached the second floor and are heading down a dark hallway.

"His room's right down here..." Tino whispers.

"No need to narrate." you assure him. "I trust you... kinda."

Tino rolls his eyes, stopping in front of the third door to the left and knocking gently.

"Toris." he says quietly.

"Yeah?" asks a voice from the other side; a voice you had thought you would never hear again.

"There's someone here to see you." Tino says with a smile.

The door opens, and you can't help but draw a sharp intake of air because dammit, you've missed this guy.

Toris looks much different as a vampire. His hair is neater, but hanging limp; and his eyes are bluer, but a bit dead-looking and he's far too pale, but he's Toris and more importantly, he's _your_ Toris. His eyes widen at the sight of you. Yours do the same. You can see where he got bitten, and even though it's clean and old now, you want to kill whoever did this to his pretty neck.

"_Feliks?_" Toris whispers in amazement.

**Tackle him ==**

You do so with gusto.

"Toris!" You say in a tone which is loud in its quietness. There are tears streaming down your face and you can't hug him tight enough because _you've found Toris._

"Feliks?" he asks again. "You're..." he doesn't finish his sentence, however, because he ignores words in favor of lifting you in the air and spinning in a quick circle before setting you down. "You came back for me!" he exclaims quietly. "I can't believe it!"

"Why not?" you ask with a fake pout. "You really don't think I'd battle ghosts and creepy trains and excess amounts of pasta just for you?"

"Well..." he says, rolling his eyes. Then he stiffens. "You shouldn't be here."

"Excuse me?"

"It's dangerous!" he tells you before turning to glare at poor, innocent Tino. "You know what Ivan would do to both of you if he found out!"

"He won't find out." Tino assures him. "I'll tell him you ran off, or something."

Suddenly, you hear footsteps.

**Acting time! ==**

You put a finger to your lips before falling into a confused Toris's arms.

"Please don't hurt me!" you stammer, just as Ivan Braginski himself peers down the hallway.

Toris and Tino immediately understand.

"You really don't have a choice, silly!" Tino says in an eerily chipper voice.

"Say," says the new arrival, "don't I know you?"

You shrug, still looking terrified.

"I do! You're that spunky one who tried to talk dear Toris here out of joining me!" Ivan says, a Wicked glint in his eyes. You hate the way he says Toris's name.

"He came back here hoping to convince me to leave this place." Toris says in an attempt at a haughty voice, grabbing your wrists. "Turns out it was all a trip for the biscuits... isn't that right, Feliks?"

You're trying hard to keep from laughing.

"Toris!" you beg. "Please... please don't... Toris, you're my best friend... Don't I mean anything to you?"

Your act must be really convincing, for Ivan smiles.

"I'm afraid not, Feliks." Ivan says. "Toris belongs to me, now." and then he turns and leaves.

**Drop the act ==**

After a tense moment, you begin to laugh. Toris has to put a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet, but then he starts laughing, too, and Tino joins in. The two of them are quieter than you are, but man, it's Good to hear Toris laugh.

"Oh my Goodness..." Tino says, calming down a bit. "But seriously, we've got to get you guys out of here."

It's then that you notice you're still kinda wrapped up in Toris. You don't mind at all, of course, but what's odd is that he doesn't seem to notice until you cough pointedly, at which point he gets all flustered and releases you.

Obviously, he hasn't had any blood recently, so he can't blush as spectacularly as he used to, but it's still really fucking adorable.

**Ignore the cute ==**

**Hug the cute ==**

**Wink at the cute ==**

"OK..." you say, tearing your eyes away from Toris. "How would you recommend we make our getaway?"

Tino shrugs.

"Through a window?" he suggests.

The three of you go into Toris's room and start tying sheets together. His room is more home-like than the rest of the house, and you can tell that he spent a lot of time in there.

"I really missed you..." he says quietly.

"Then why didn't you leave this place and come looking for me?" you ask.

"I wanted to!" Toris insists. "I really wanted to! But..."

"Ivan." you finish.

"Yeah." Toris says lamely.

"Natalya too, I suppose?"

"No, I'm over her."

"Oh."

_Good._

Soon, you guys have a ready-made rope. Tino ties it to a large dresser and throws the other end out the window.

"Feliks, you should go down first." he says. "You're in the most danger here."

"Technically, speaking, I suppose you're right." you sigh. "You're always right, Tino."

**Out you go! ==**

Carefully, you hoist yourself onto the windowsill and grab the "rope". The climb down isn't particularly difficult, so you're already bored out of your mind by the time Tino and Toris touch down next to you. You've found a piece of chalk somewhere in your bag and are now sketching out a running horse. It's quite majestic.

"What's that, a stegosaurus?" Tino asks curiously.

"It looks like a goat, to me..." Toris remarks.

Their voices are polite, but you can't help but be offended.

"It's a horse!" you say, getting up and dusting yourself off. "And now we can give this place the kiss off and scram. Seriously, I don't want to spend another moment here."

"Careful in the sunlight!" Tino reminds Toris. "And keep well fed."

"Yes, yes. I know." Toris says.

"What are you, his mother?" you ask Tino, who laughs.

"Come on, you two have to leave before Ivan notices anything is amiss." the Fin says, ushering you and Toris onto the sidewalk. "I'm gonna head back to the theater, if you guys don't need anything."

"We'll be fine!" you say. You've packed plenty of food for yourself, and you could probably find a blood bank or something on the way back.

**Leave, already! ==**

**Stay a while longer and get caught ==**

Waving a final Goodbye to Tino, you and Toris set off back to Abyssinia.

The sidewalk is half-shaded, which works nicely as you two walk at a brisk pace. Toris keeps glancing nervously back at the manor house, which is starting to get on your nerves.

"You know..." he says anxiously. "This would go a lot faster if we ran..."

"That eager to get away, hmm?" you chuckle. "Sorry, but I lack the stamina of a dead person."

Toris seems to have some sort of an internal struggle before he sighs and picks you up, princess-style. You gasp and laugh, because he looks so _wonderfully_ embarrassed.

"Am I _that_ bad at this?" Toris asks, because you can't stop giggling. "I'll put you down, if you want."

"No, no!" you laugh. "It's fine! You just startled me, is all."

Toris smiles.

"Since when did you drop your accent?" he asks.

"You only just noticed?"

"Hey, I've been going through a lot!" he says defensively. "Until today, I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

"And that would have just been _awful._" you reply, rolling your eyes.

"Yes, it would have!" Toris says seriously, looking you in the eye.

You have an odd sort of staring contest before you realize that you really should get going.

**Oh yeah... ==**

"Shouldn't you be, you know, running?" you ask.

Toris averts his gaze.

"Oh... right."

And, after making sure he's got a Good grip on you, he starts to run.

Vampires are fucking _fast,_ man!

Even though you trust Toris with your life, you throw your arms around his neck and hide your face because you feel like you could crash into something at any moment.

Less than five minutes later, he skids to a halt.

"You alright?" he asks in a concerned tone. You nod shakily as he lets you down.

You're at the train station.

"Wow..." you say, regaining your composure. "You were right – that _was_ faster!"

"You're actually admitting that I was right?" Toris asks with an eyebrow raised. "Who are you and what have you done with my Feliks?"

You stare at him.

"_Your_ Feliks?" you ask.

"I mean... uh..." Toris stammers a bit, and it's a darn shame he can't blush. "You know... the Feliks I hang out with?"

"Ah." you say. "Good. Because for a moment there you seemed confused about who belongs to who."

**Regain your dignity... or something like that ==**

You pull Toris in for a fierce kiss.

After you pull away, you smirk at his flummoxed expression.

"Because," you tell him, just as the train is pulling up, "_you_ belong to _me._"

* * *

**I'm pretty sure "A Thousand Years" is by Christina Perri. I'm using that song because this is the most Twilight-like chapter in the whole story.**

**I've never written LietPol before, so... yeah. Also, I'm sorry I had to stop using slang for Feliks. The webpage I was using to translate got taken down.**


	16. I'm ALIVE!

**Be the zombie ==**

You are now Lovino.

You actually rather like living up in the cafe; it's quiet and airy and you get to make people uncomfortable as they enter and leave Abyssinia.

And then there's Antonio.

You fucking hate the guy.

The only reason you spared his life is because eating him would have given you severe indigestion... or something like that.

Reasons don't really occur to you, seeing as how you're a zombie and all.

Questions occur to you sometimes, though, like "why is everyone so scared of me?" and "is there a way I can substitute tomatoes for brains?" and "who is this guy who claims to be my brother?"

Though the last one is beginning to find itself an answer.

Sometimes, when everybody else is asleep, you find yourself remembering a life with Feliciano and some other guys you don't give a fuck about.

You also find yourself wanting to beat the crap out of that buff German werewolf for thinking he can replace you as Feliciano's protector.

Yeah, you're not the best at being a zombie. Your humanity is too damn stubborn.

Hey, at least you can't sass me when I make you do stupid things!

**Do a cartwheel ==**

You fail miserably.

Ha!

_Grr..._

What's the matter, Lovi? Cat got your tongue?

My readers probably hate me for this, so let's move on.

It's been about an hour since that annoying Polish guy had left, and you can hear Antonio coming up to visit you.

"Hola, Lovi!" he says cheerfully.

"Don't... call... Lovi..." you say darkly.

"Don't call you Lovi?" he asks. "But it's so cute!"

"Not cute." you say.

"Whatever you say!" Antonio laughs.

**Show that bastard what's what ==**

You give him the finger.

Oh well. Not like you're able to throw a tantrum or anything.

After a moment of silence that you can't be bothered to fill, Antonio speaks up again.

"What was your favorite food when you were human, Lovi?"

"Tomatoes." you say simply. You've always loved tomatoes.

"No way, me too!" Antonio says happily. "Aren't they the best? And they're so versatile! You can have them in pizza and pasta and salsa and ketchup and all sorts of things!"

You nod and shrug. What is the point of this?

"Now, you ask _me_ a question!" Antonio says eagerly.

Oh. It's one of _those_ games.

"Again... why me?" you ask.

"Uh... I don't really know?" Antonio admits. "You seem like a really interesting person, I guess, and I like spending time with you. My turn! What is your favorite color?"

You shrug.

Right now, it's emerald green because that's the color of Antonio's eyes, but you're not saying that out loud.

"What's... yours?" you ask.

"Red like tomatoes!" Antonio proclaims. "What's your dream job?"

You avert your gaze.

"Come on, you can tell me!"

**Tell him ==**

**Don't tell him ==**

**Lie ==**

"I... kinda wanted to... be a singer. Or an artist."

"Aw, really? That's so cool!" Antonio says. "Being creative must run in the family, hmm?"

You shrug.

"You do that a lot..." Antonio remarks.

"Because... it's hard to speak." you say quietly.

"Oh, you must have an awful lot to say, then!" the Spaniard says. "That must be really frustrating... anyway, it's your turn~"

"Alright... have... you ever... had a girlfriend?" you ask. The question is innocent enough, you suppose.

"Not a long-term one." Antonio chuckles. "It's hard to keep a stable relationship when she's trying to suck your blood! My turn~ have _you_ ever had a girlfriend?"

You shake your head.

"A boyfriend, then?" Antonio asks.

"**No" ==**

"**Not gay" ==**

"**Not **_**yet**_**" ==**

**Avoid the question ==**

"It's my turn now." you tell him. "Do... you think we'll... we'll ever see the end of this... this madness?"

"I _know_ we will." Antonio says resolutely. "Especially now that we've found you, Lovi! With you and your brother, I don't think those vampires stand a chance!"

"What if... we lose?" you ask.

"That's always a possibility..." Antonio sighs. "If we manage to retain our humanity, then there will still be some hope left. No matter what happens, though, I promise you and I will be friends throughout."

"We're friends?" you ask skeptically.

"Of course!" Antonio says. "Unless you don't _want_ to be friends..."

"I do..." you say. "But... why make friends with... someone like me?"

"Lovi, I don't care if you're a zombie-" Antonio begins, but you cut him off.

"I didn't mean... that." you say.

"I don't get it...?" Antonio says quizzically.

"I meant... even... like this, I am not the most... easy person to... get along with." you say, not meeting his gaze. "I am... rude... cowardly... spiteful... a terrible brother, apparently...I swear too much... and everyone likes Feli better. Can't say I blame them."

Antonio is staring at you with this look which you can't decipher.

"Please tell me you are joking." he says.

"I'm not." you say. "I really am... like that."

You're ready for him to make an awkward departure.

Naturally, he surprises you.

Damn Spaniard.

"Lovi, you don't really think those things about yourself, do you?" he asks.

"**Yes" ==**

"**No" ==**

"**Go fuck yourself" ==**

You shrug and then nod, as if saying "yeah... so what?" even though Antonio's the first person you've ever admitted any insecurities to.

"Lovino Vargas, I could probably spend hours telling you not to underestimate yourself and how brave you were for saving me and so on, but I'm sure you'll get impatient with me." he laughs. "So let me just tell you that I think you are absolutely wonderful."

It's funny, but in all your life, you have never felt as _alive_ as you do right now.

* * *

**I'm Alive is the Kuroshitsuji ending theme.**

**Idk, this is just Spamano filler nonsense.**


	17. Think Of Me

**Be Matthew ==**

You are now Good ol' what's-his-face.

_My name is Matthew and you know it!_

Quiet, Mewtini.

Anyway, you're sneaking into an old theater because you're the only one quiet enough to do this kind of thing. Mathias, for some reason, was assigned to Abyssinia(Chicago Overcoat actually does know the location of that speakeasy. You guys just haven't blown it up yet). You have no idea why, though. That Dane is the least competent vampire you have ever met.

There is only one werewolf in this theater, as far as you can tell. Quiet as a ghost, you enter through a side door and silently walk down the hall. To the left are the dressing rooms; to the right, a bathroom. Everyone seems to be sleeping near the stage.

The hall leads you through a door, and you find yourself behind one of the travelers. You peer out from around the curtain and spot the theater's inhabitants.

_Aww..._ you think to yourself. It honestly just looks like a cute family. A tall human, a short vampire and the werewolf-you didn't expect him to be ten- are all huddled together, and near them sleeps a young man with fair blond hair, his hand clutching a photo.

**Privacy invading time! ==**

**Ignore the picture ==**

You can't help yourself. You go in for a closer look.

…

Oh.

It's a photograph of Mathias.

You're not quite sure how these refugee humans managed to get a camera, but it doesn't matter because you've found Mathias's place of origin. In the picture, he's grinning brightly and he looks much friendlier than you've ever seen him. He's got his arm around the young man, who is also in the picture and looks quite disgruntled. Standing between them is a kid with pale hair and a satin bow around his neck.

Suddenly, you want to leave something that'll prove that Mathias is alright.

You have nothing.

Back to business, then.

You walk over to the sleeping family, and suddenly you really hate your mission. Sighing inwardly, you stoop to pick up the little boy, who doesn't even stir as you shift him in your arms and begin your retreat.

"I'm so sorry..." you whisper. "So very sorry..."

As you exit the theater, you fail to notice the little dog following you.

You really wish you had the guts to quit your job. You hate breaking families apart like this, especially when it's so obvious that they've already lost someone else. You silently vow to make this kid some pancakes as soon as he wakes up. Hey, even though you're undead, you can still do Canadian things.

Wait a minute.

You hear footsteps and voices.

**Hide ==**

**Run ==**

**Kill ==**

Swiftly, you duck into a narrow alley.

You wait quietly as someone you recognize passes by, along with a ghost at his side.

It's Yao's little brother.

"There's the theater..." the ghost whispers, and you realize that he is the young boy from the photo. "I can't believe we finally found it."

"Hey, I didn't get us _that_ lost." Jia-Long says defensively. "The wraith delayed us! And I needed to restock my firecrackers!"

"Because you used them all to scare off a harmless old werecat." the ghost reminds him.

They're out of view now, but you can still hear them.

"Hey, I'm _positive_ he wanted to mug me!" the brunet says. "You never can tell with those sneaky bastards..."

You're not sure what to do. Yao's been looking for Jia-Long for about a week, and would murder you if he knew you kept this information from him, but on the other hand, you've kinda got your hands full and you're Good at keeping things to yourself.

After you can no longer hear them, you slip out of the alley and continue on your merry way, young werewolf in tow.

When you get off the train near Abyssinia, you spot Mathias and Francis with three older werewolves over their shoulders. One of them has a little yellow canary sitting on him.

**Surprise them ==**

**Walk up and say hi ==**

**Ignore ==**

Ah, too late. Francis has spotted you. He has an uncanny knack for doing that.

"Mathieu!" he exclaims, waving you over. You put your finger to your lips, nodding to the boy in your arms. "What, you didn't chloroform him?" Francis asks. "He stayed asleep the whole way here? I am impressed, mon cher~"

"Yeah, it took quite a dosage to knock this guy out!" Mathias says, shifting the blond werewolf slightly. He's also got a brown-haired werewolf who smells a bit like cats.

"Want to trade?" Francis asks you. "This albino is _heavy_ and as much as it pains me to admit it, you are stronger than me now."

You're not quite sure if you want to hand a sleeping ten-year-old to Francis Bonnefoy.

"I'm the only one gentle enough not to wake him." you say.

"Hey Matt," says Mathias, "I saw a guy who looked a lot like you over at Good ol' Abby!" Abby is short for Abyssinia.

"Really?" you ask.

"It was probably just a coincidence." Francis says quickly. "Come on, let's get back to HQ."

"Uh... there's a dog following you." Mathias remarks, pointing to a little fluffy cloud right behind you.

"Huh? Oh, there is!" you say, dropping to your knees. The dog trots over and jumps right onto the boy. "I suppose we're taking her with us!"

"The more, the merrier!" Francis sings.

"Come on, it's just a dog." Mathias rolls his eyes.

The three of you(and your captives) board the train heading for the heart of the city where HQ is. After a moment of silence, you look over at Mathias.

**Tell him about the thing ==**

"You know, that theater... where I found this kid..." you say. "There was a picture of you in there."

"Really? Huh. Must have been a stalker or something." Mathias muses. "I bet I had a lot of them. I'm irresistible."

"Riiight." you say, rolling your eyes.

"... awesome..." a voice says. The three of you all look at Francis's hostage, who is stirring.

"Mon dieu!" Francis exclaims. "I didn't think he'd wake up so soon!"

"Ugh... what's going on?" the albino asks as Francis slides him into a separate seat. "Did Antonio and I raid the beer supply? I hope I didn't miss anything f- hey, wait a minute!" he immediately sit bolt upright, and you are startled by his intense scarlet eyes. "You guys are vampires!" he says frantically. He then notices Mathias's captives. "Let mein bruder go!" he exclaims angrily. "And Heracles, too, I guess."

"No can do, buddy." Mathias says. "You guys are our prisoners now. Well, technically, you're prisoners of the head vampire."

"We're rounding up werewolves." Francis adds.

The crimson-eyed man tries to stand up, but Francis holds a gun to the side of his head.

"Merci, mon cher, but I've got several rounds of silver bullets on me, so I suggest you come along quietly."

The albino looks like he's about to protest, but then he makes eye contact with you and, surprisingly, stays seated.

"As long as we are traveling together," Francis says, "we might as well get acquainted."

Ugh. You hate Francis's habit of getting to know people he's gonna kill later.

"My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt, and I hate you." the albino hisses, crossing his arms. "That's my brother, Ludwig, and the brunet is Heracles Karpusi. I'm pretty sure they hate you, too. The bird is called Gilbird. He _really_ hates you."

"I'm Mathias." says the Dane. "Don't try to take me in all at once, or you might go blind."

"That doesn't sound dirty at all." Gilbert scoffs.

"And I am Francis Bonnefoy." Francis says with a wink.

"What about you, kiddo?" Gilbert asks you.

**Who? ==**

"Me?" you reply, surprised at being addressed. "Uh... Matthew Williams."

"Huh." he says. "You're not, by any chance, related to an Alfred F Jones?"

You shrug.

"Maybe." you say.

"Hm. Well, I like you a lot better." Gilbert says decisively, causing you to blush. "Alfred's a bit annoying."

You don't know how to respond, but luckily Gilbird saves the day by landing on your knee.

"And it seems you have Gilbird's seal of approval! Awesome!" Gilbert says happily.

"Uh..."

"Say, who's the kid?" the albino asks.

"Another werewolf." Mathias shrugs.

"You don't seem very bugged by this whole kidnapping thing..." you remark.

"That's because I secretly suspect that Feli will save the day." Gilbert says before laughing. "Just kidding, that kid couldn't save a fly, let alone the day. Nah, I'm just generally awesome in the face of doubt."

"Of course you are." Francis says. "Hey, would you mind telling me why you guys keep a zombie in the cafe?"

Gilbert shrugs.

"I think he's Antonio's pet or something..."

You're amazed at how calmly the conversation is going.

Through the rest of the ride, you guys make small talk. Gilbert eventually moves to sit next to you after Francis puts a hand on his knee. You have to admit that you're intrigued by this werewolf... he's so intense and weird, and you just can't take your eyes off him.

"Ugh... papa?"

The little boy has awakened.

* * *

**Think Of Me is from Phantom Of The Opera.**

**I think I really love writing for Canada. His chapters are always either the longest or the best or both.**


	18. All You Need Is Love

**What happened earlier? ==**

You are now Ludwig, a while before all this has happened.

Most of Abyssinia is getting ready for bed, and you're sitting on your sleeping bag watching Feli talk and floss at the same time.

"And then he thr-w his ax and hit the o-er wall! Berw-ld was r-lly mad, but I thought it was f-nny!" he says, words obscured by his hands.

"Uh-huh." you say. You really don't know how to respond. Feli takes the piece of floss out of his mouth and leans over to put it in a trash can.

"Lukas confiscated the ax for a month, but you can still see where it hit the wallpaper!" the Italian continues. "Emil would use it as a point of reference... like, 'could you go stand by the ax mark for a moment?' and stuff. Lovi wanted to turn the hole into the mouth of a monster face, but it was right above where we slept and that would have been scary!"

"I'm sure." you say, the brunet's voice oddly musical in your ear. You're fairly certain that this guy spreads love wherever he goes, considering how chummy Kiku and Heracles have gotten... and Antonio and Lovino... and now you're suffering from the same fate.

"You're a Good listener, Ludwig!" Feliciano says. "Lukas and Lovi and Emil would always tell me to shut up... and I'm pretty sure Berwald _thought_ it every now and then..."

"You have a lot to say." you shrug. "That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"I'm glad you think so, Ludwig!" he says, crawling into his sleeping bag. "You're a great guy, you know. Good night~"

"Guten nacht." you reply.

**Sleep ==**

When you jolt awake, it is long past midnight.

You're not quite sure what woke you... but now you've found yourself face-to-face with a severe-looking ghost.

You jump back and sit up, scrambling away from the unfamiliar face.

"So, you're Feli's buddy, huh?" the ghost asks, glowering. "I don't like your face, boy!"

"W-who the hell are you ?!" you demand.

"What, my little Feli hasn't told you anything about me?" the ghost asks. "I'm his grandpa! Slayer of vampires and bane of werewolves!"

You pick up your gun, because even the dead will shy away from such an instrument, and aim it at his chest.

"You've got some nerve barging in here, trying to pass yourself off as Feliciano's grandfather! What the hell do you want?" you ask.

"But I really am his grandpa! Look at my face, my hair! Can't you see the similarities?"

You study him. Sure, his hair curls in the same odd way as Feli's, and his eyes are just as bright, but this couldn't possibly be...

"Alright, 'Mr. Vargas', why did you invade Abyssinia?" you ask.

"To see my grandsons, of course!" he says, gesturing to Feli, who somehow managed to worm his way into _your_ sleeping bag.

"What the hell is he doing in _here?_" you ask, cheeks going red.

"Aw, he's sho cuuute!" Grandfather Vargas says happily.

**Agree ==**

**Denial ==**

"This is just a dream." you tell yourself. "I'm just dreaming."

"Isn't my grandson the most adorable little thing you've ever seen?" the ghost asks proudly.

"Uh..." you say.

"Of _course_ he is!" the elder Italian says. "He's _my_ grandson! _My_ pride and joy!"

"You do realize that this is the middle of the night, don't you?" you ask.

The ghost shrugs.

"Sleeping alone, huh?" he asks. "Poor guy... no booty calls tonight? You're lucky my grandson's a little cutie~"

"I don't have time for this! Get out of here!" you say angrily.

"When I was your age," Grandfather Vargas says, "every square inch of my bed was covered with hot girls! But I bet you're no stranger to close encounters of the sexy kind, either!"

"You're sick and perverted, old man!" you tell him.

"Didn't your grandpa ever teach you to respect the dead?"

"My... grandfather?" you ask.

"Uh-huh! He was just here a moment ago, but his unfinished business was finished, so he moved on." the Italian says. "He was really glad to see both you and Gilbert again, you know."

"You two came here together?" you ask.

"No ghost can find their loved ones without a companion to travel with." Grandfather Vargas says sagely. "Now, I have to go say hi to Lovi, and then I'm off to find out what the pasta is like in heaven! Promise to take Good care of Feli, or I shall strike you down with lightning!"

**Promise ==**

"Uh... I promise." you say.

"Atta boy!" the ghost says, getting to his feet. "Good luck storming vampire HQ!"

And with that, he drifts upstairs to find the older Vargas brother.

"... huh." you say, lying back down next to Feli. "You Italians certainly are an odd bunch..."

You don't notice the vampires until it's too late.

**Meanwhile, in the future ==**

"I suppose this is it, then?" you ask. Emil nods.

The two of you are standing in front of the door leading into the theater.

"Ready to see your brother?"

"I don't know... I'm a bit anxious." Emil admits.

"That's understandable." you say. "Don't worry... I'll be right here with you until the end."

"Thank you." he says. "For everything. Tell your brother I say hi... and tell the head vampire that he can go copulate with himself."

"Will do." you say dutifully.

With that, you knock firmly on the door.

"Ugh... who could that be?" a voice asks in a Finnish accent.

"Dunno..." someone who might be Norwegian replies.

"Wh're's P'ter?"

A pause.

"Peter?" the Finnish voice calls. "PETER!"

"Peter?" you ask Emil, who shrugs.

"You guys search. I'll answer the door." the Norwegian voice says.

This is it. You only have one precious moment.

You turn to Emil.

"**Here's looking at you, kid" ==**

"**I'm Batman" ==**

**Confess your feelings ==**

"I love you." you say quietly. Emil looks at you and it appears that he's about to say something when the door opens.

"Who are you and what do- … Emil?"

The source of the Norwegian voice, a young man with blond hair and slate blue eyes, stares blankly at the ghost.

A bright golden light begins shining.

"Dear brother..." Emil says, no longer whispering. His voice is sweet and he's both crying and smiling.

The light grows in intensity and then it is gone along with Emil.

Lukas stares at the spot where the ghost stood but a moment ago.

"Was that really..."

"Yes." you say, trying not to cry.

He stares a bit more before turning to study you.

"You've got some explaining to do." he says. You agree and follow him into the theater. Along the way, you run into the Fin and the Swede from earlier. Both look frazzled.

"We're going out to look for Peter and Hanatamago." the Fin says.

"I'll hold down the fort." Lukas says.

The moment they are gone, Lukas punches the wall and then throws himself into one of the velvet seats of the audience. He buries his face in his hands and you think he might be crying.

"I can't believe it..." he mutters. "After all this time..."

You sit down next to him, not sure what to do.

After a moment, he exhales and leans back, looking up at the intricate ceiling of the theater.

"Every time I answer the door, I lose someone I love." he says. "Except for that one time with that weird Polish guy... but that didn't count."

"**Polish guy? I met a Polish guy!" ==**

"**What shampoo do you use?" ==**

"Huh." you say.

"What's your name?" Lukas asks.

"Jia-Long. My brother is Yao Wang."

Lukas jerks his head up in order to stare at you.

"Yup," you say, "the brother of the secretary of the head vampire helped your brother find his way home."

"Tell me the whole story." Lukas says.

"Gee, that'll take a while..." you say.

"We've got time." he replies.

**Tell the story ==**

"Alright, then..."

And you tell him the story.

He listens quietly, eyes sometimes widening slightly at the more intense parts and occasionally an eyebrow raising, but he basically remains black-faced. You're not sure if you want to mention that you fell in love with Emil along the way, so you leave it vaguely implied.

When you're done, Lukas is silent for a moment.

"Thank you." he says.

"For...?" you ask.

"Bringing Emil home." Lukas says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "I can't even begin to explain how much that means to me. It's nice to know that we can still move on to the afterlife, even during... times like this."

"It was no trouble, really." you say.

"Just you being there with him was more than enough." Lukas says. "I've interacted with some ghosts in my time, and... I don't think they can find their way home without assistance. Maybe their true 'unfinished business' is to make one last impression in somebody's life."

"I think you're right..." you tell him. "As corny as it sounds, I think we all need each other to truly live... we're social creatures, and even with only one true friend, the world seems a bit easier to take on."

"I can't believe I'm having such a meaningful conversation with a witch's brother." Lukas remarks. "It gets so hard to tell what's Wicked and what's Good, I begin to think that it's all really a matter of perspective."

"Very true." you say. "Although... I think the head vampire is pretty darn Wicked... I saw him kick a puppy, once."

Lukas almost smirks.

"Would you like to stay a while?" he asks. "It's the least I can offer."

"I think I'd better get back home to my brother." you say.

"Good idea. I assume you won't want any help getting there?"

"None whatsoever." you reply with a half-grin.

"Wait there a moment, then." he says, getting up and going over to his pillow. He produces from underneath it two photographs. One he puts back under the pillow, but the other he brings over to you.

It's a picture of Emil.

* * *

**All You Need Is Love is by The Beatles.**

**Write ALL the bittersweet!**


	19. No Way

**Be Feli ==**

You are now Feliciano Vargas, waking up from a Good night's sleep.

"Good morning, Ludwig~" you say, eyes still closed. "I had a dream about grandpa last night!"

You sit up and stretch.

"I wonder what's for breakfast..." you say. "What do you think, Lud- … Ludwig?"

Ludwig is gone.

Immediately, you are on your feet.

"Where is Ludwig?" you ask the room.

Other people who are waking up shrug.

**Interrogate the suspect ==**

"Gilbert?" you call. "Do you know where Ludwig is?"

Silence.

"He's not here!" Antonio exclaims, prodding Gilbert's empty sleeping bag.

"Neither is Heracles-san!" Kiku adds.

"Oh dear god..." you say quietly, dropping back to the floor. You can't believe it. Your hero, your kind werewolf, your Ludwig... is gone. For all you care, the world has come to an end. You feel like a dementor's feast.

"Maybe the zombie ate them..." someone grumbles.

**EXCUSE ME? ==**

"Shut up!" you and Antonio both shout in unison, surprising both yourself and each other.

"Listen up, gentlemen!" Alfred says loudly, standing on the bar. "This is no time for accusations! If anyone is to blame, it is the head vampire! I'm ninety-eight percent positive that this is _his_ doing!"

Mutters of agreement rippled throughout the room.

"Feli, get up here." Alfred says. Cautiously, you walk over and he helps you up onto the counter top. "You," Alfred says, "are a new hope. I believe," he addresses the room, " that now is the time to storm vampire HQ! We're not letting them get away with taking two of our best fighters and one of our best scouts, are we?"

He speaks with such passion that several people in the audience yell and cheer.

"Damn right!" Alfred exclaims. "That's what I like to hear! Now, I recommend we send in a strike team to sneakily dispatch them from the inside, and then the rest can attack when they're vulnerable! Any volunteers for the inside team?"

The room goes silent. Frankly, it sounds like a suicide mission, and these people value their lives too much to throw them away so recklessly.

And then Antonio raises his hand.

"You have my ax. And, if it's alright, I'll ask Lovi if he'd like to come with." he says.

And then Kiku raises his hand.

"You have my katana. Also, I would like to help lead this expedition, since I... have been in their headquarters before." he says.

And then Feliks bursts in, dragging behind him a man with brown hair and kind blue eyes.

"We volunteer as tributes!" Feliks exclaims breathlessly.

"You have my gun!" a Swiss man says.

"And my pistols!" Alfred finishes. "What say you, Feli?"

"All I have to offer is my white flag and my heart." you say.

"And that's all we need!" Alfred says heartily. "Are you in, or _in?_"

**In ==**

**Out ==**

**Up ==**

**Down ==**

"..." this could be the most terrifying, nerve-racking, deadly thing you've ever done, and you're sick of people dying for you. But, still... you've got to save Ludwig. "I'm in!" you cheer, and the crowd goes wild!

"I'll go tell Lovi!" Antonio says, climbing up into the cafe.

Alfred huge you.

"I knew we could count on you!" he says.

"Thank you." you whisper. "I don't think I could have taken charge like that."

"No problem!" he replies. "It's about time us humans got off our lazy butts, anyway!"

After the frenzy of planning and Goodbyes, Team Stars(as Alfred's team is known. The other team, led by a feisty islander girl, is known as Team Stripes) sets out immediately. Lovi has agreed to come with you guys and it feels like, for once in your life, you might be the one doing the saving.

**Talk to Alfred ==**

**Talk to Kiku ==**

**Talk to the scary Swiss guy ==**

**Talk to Antonio ==**

You fall into step with Kiku.

"Hey, you said you've been to HQ before, right?" you ask. "How did you end up there?"

"I'd rather not talk about it..." Kiku says awkwardly.

"Come on, you can tell me!" you say.

"Well.. my brother is Yao Wang."

"_The_ Yao Wang?" you exclaim. "The secretary of the head vampire?"

"Hai. I ran away when I was fifteen." Kiku says. "I have always strongly disliked the vampires, and my brother was putting too much pressure on me. One day, I just got fed up and left."

"Wow..." you say. "You must be really brave."

"Only when I have to be." Kiku says.

"Is this a time when you have to be?" you ask.

"It's a time when I _want _to be." the Japanese man says.

"For Heracles?" you ask.

"Sometimes, you are more perceptive than you appear." he sighs.

"Really? I think I'm only Good at noticing when people like each other!" you say.

"Is that so?" Kiku asks. "Hm. Give me an example."

"Uh... well, I think Lovi likes Antonio!" you say. "And I noticed when Mathias liked Lukas, and I can tell you like Heracles, and..."

"I meant, pertaining to you." Kiku explains.

"Oh? Well, I'm certainly popular with most of the girls!" you say. "But I dunno if anyone really, like, like-likes me like that."

Kiku raises his eyebrows.

"An interesting observation, Feliciano-kun. Yours appears to be entirely unique."

"Huh, really?" you ask. "What does everybody else think?"

Kiku shrugs and remains silent.

* * *

**No Way is from A Very Potter Sequel, I do believe.**

**Anyone catch the Star Wars reference?**


	20. For Good

**Be awesome ==**

You are now Gilbert Beilschmidt, being led into a prison. Behind you are Ludwig and Heracles, who have recently woken up. Mathias is leading the way down, and Francis is trailing behind with the gun. Matthew gives you a shy smile as he ascends the stairs, and you almost turn to watch him leave, but then you notice your new surroundings.

You have to admit, you weren't expecting a dank, desolate dungeon.

"Come on, _this_ is where you plan to contain awesomeness?" you ask. "This place isn't worthy of my clothing, let alone me!"

"If you want to remove your apparently-superior clothing, feel free to do so." Francis says, and you can practically _hear_ the smirk in his voice.

"In your dreams!" you respond.

"Sadly, vampires do not get to enjoy night visions..." the Frenchman sighs.

"What are you planning with us?" Ludwig asks.

"That's for me to know and for you to obsess over until you die tragically~" Francis replies.

"Ooh, I like guessing games..." Heracles says.

"Well, guess what!" Mathias says, stopping in front of a cell. "Here's your room. Breakfast is whenever we feel like it and laundry is every other century. Normally, you'd each get your own cell, but we need to make room for future guests."

With that, the three of you are unceremoniously shoved in and lock away.

**Protest ==**

**Give up ==**

"You can't do this to the Beilschmidt brothers!" you yell, kicking the bars.

"And me..." Heracles adds.

"Really?" Mathias asks as Francis leave. "It seems we already did!"

"Well, you can't do it for long!" you reply.

"Bruder, calm down!" Ludwig says forcefully.

"I can't be calm at a time like this!" you tell him. Mathias grabs you by the collar.

"Listen, bud, I don't know who you think you are, but raising a fuss will get you nowhere. Why don't you save your voice for praying on your deathbed?" the Dane asks in a steely tone.

"I'll raise whatever fuss I want!" you say fiercely. "Who knows, maybe you'll find my eloquence so moving that you'll let me go before you even know what's happening!"

"You're a funny one." Mathias says coldly. "Who knows, you might even make me laugh before your time here is up."

"Then you have a sick sense of humor, you bastard." you reply.

"Bruder, shut up." says Ludwig.

Mathias leans up against the wall.

"At least I have one."

**Leave well enough alone ==**

**Antagonize him further ==**

"At least I'm not a heartless, loveless vampire." you say. "You must be one of the most hated creatures in the world, and I'm not just saying that because you're holding me prisoner. Everywhere I've been during this everything apocalypse, I've seen people fighting for those they love, because that's what we fight for. You, however, are a purposeless, loveless mosquito with no one to fight for and no one fighting for you. I wonder how that must feel?"

Geez, dude. There's such a thing as going too far!

"Gilbert..." Ludwig says in a warning tone

"I don't know," says Mathias, and before you can react he reaches through the bars and grabs Gilbird. "Something like this?"

You make a grab for your bird, but Mathias brings him out of arm's reach. With a sickening, soul-wrenching noise, he breaks the fragile creature's neck and with it, your heart.

**Dammit ==**

"Gilbird!" you shout, tears pooling in your eyes. "No... no! _Gilbird!_"

Mathias smirks and drops your friend at your feet. You immediately kneel to pick him up and stroke his feathers.

"Mein gott... _Gilbird..._ you... you can't be dead. You can't be!" you say quietly. Ludwig puts his hand on your shoulder, but you push him away.

"Watch yourself," says Mathias, "because even though I'm under orders not to hurt you, I can still hurt the things you love."

You don't even bother responding.

The Danish vampire is on his way out when a new voice chimes in.

"What's going on in here?"

It's Matthew.

"Your _girlfriend_ is having a hissy fit." Mathias says before exiting the dungeon.

"What does he mean by... Gilbert?" the Canadian hurries over to your cell. "Gilbert, what happe- oh. _Oh._ Oh my god..."

He's seen the bird.

"Did Mathias do this?" he asks. You nod feebly. "Hold on a moment, I'll be right back." he says, turning to leave. You almost want to call for him to stop, for hum to stay with you, but you can't seem to speak.

A minute later, you hear a muffled exclamation of pain. A moment after that, Matthew returns and kneels in front of you.

**Inquire ==**

"What... what was that about?" you ask shakily, trying to wipe away tears.

"I punched him." Matthew says with a shrug. "Can I see...?"

You hold the canary for him to inspect.

"Maple..." he mutters, tentatively reaching a hand out to caress your dead friend. "I'm so sorry, Gil..."

"**Why are you comforting me?" ==**

"**I think I love you" ==**

**Other ==**

"I can't believe he's..." you say, not able to finish your sentence.

"I know..." Matthew says. "A lot of all this is unbelievable."

Once more he gets up, but this time he doesn't leave. Instead, he goes to rummage through a supply and finds himself a shoebox. This he lines with two handkerchiefs before returning to you.

"Here. I know it's not much, but he can at least have _some_ sort of a coffin."

"Thank you." you say quietly, gently setting Gilbird in the box.

"Francis lets me keep a small garden 'round back. If you would like, I could bury him there..." Matthew says.

"That would be very awesome of you." you tell him. "I... really, thank you."

Matthew smiles sadly.

"It's the least I can do." he says. "Unless... you don't like pancakes, do you?"

You shrug, a bit perplexed.

"Can't remember. It's been _years_ since I've had them." you say.

"Well, then! You're in for a treat." Matthew tells you. "I may be undead, but I still make damn Good pancakes!"

* * *

**For Good is from Wicked.**

**Saddest chapter in the story, man.**


	21. Ravenous

**Be the hero ==**

You are now Alfred F Jones.

_The one and only~_

Pretty much, yeah.

You are leading Team Stars through the streets of N.Y.C. Well, technically, Kiku's leading, since he's the only one who knows where it is, but still.

You're feeling pretty Good about this mission. Who knows, you guys might actually accomplish something!

Currently, your group is standing behind what once was the city hall. Kiku explains that the head vampire enjoys a nice, grand place from which he can rule. You think that setting up office in the most obvious place is stupid. Kiku tells you that it's a double bluff.

Whatever it is, you really don't give a fuck because you're about to END THE VAMPIRES.

Or at least piss them off a bit.

Whichever works.

Feliciano says he doesn't want to _kill_ the vampires, since some of them are his friends, and Feliks and Toris agree with him, so you'll have to make sure only the really evil ones get hurt. That shouldn't be too hard, though. You _are_ the hero, after all.

In fact, you bet you can get the head vampire to surrender peacefully the moment he meets you. You're just that charismatic.

**Get over yourself ==**

No can do! You're Alfred F Jones and you're every bit as amazing as you think you are.

"If that's their headquarters, then where are they keeping our friends?" Feliciano asks.

"Probably in the basement." Kiku says. "As far as I remember, it's quite secure."

"So the plan is...?"

"Ambush the next vampire to come through this door," says Kiku, "take his keys and then we enter the building."

"And a vampire should be coming out when, exactly?"

Kiku shrugs.

**Facepalm ==**

**Laugh it off ==**

"Ahaha! Kiku, my man, you are too funny!" you say boisterously. Other members of the team shush you, but you ignore them. "Alright, men! We're gonna sit here until a vampire comes right through that door!"

**An hour later ==**

"I don't think any vampires will be coming through that door..." the Lithuanian vampire says.

"_I_ think this was a waste of time." the Swiss guy says huffily.

"Are... we sure that the door is locked?" Feliciano asks.

"Why wouldn't it be?" you ask. The Italian shrugs. You sigh. "Look, Feli, you're super cool and all, but I don't think the door would just _happen_ to be unlocked."

"Hey, guys?" Antonio says. You all turn to look at him. "He's right. It's unlocked." the Spaniard says, opening the door.

"Oh." you say. "Wait! It could be a trap! We had better make sure that this isn't a decoy or something! I say we send in a Guinea pig!"

"Alright!" says the Swiss man. "I vote we send _you_ in. All in favor?"

Everyone except for Feliciano and Kiku say "I".

"So much for 'working together'." you sigh. "All right, since I am the hero, I'll do it! I'll try to yell if something goes wrong. If I'm not back within five minutes, get out of here. Understood?"

Everyone nods. Feliks gives you a shove, so you step into the building.

"So far, so Good!" you say, looking back at your group. But... they're all gone. "What the- don't tell me they left me here! Those jerks! What do they think they're playing at, trying to get the hero killed?"

**Investigate the HQ further ==**

**Get the hell out of there ==**

You storm right out of the , glancing around to see if you can spot any of the deserters.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a zombie arm or a tomato or a white flag.

"They probably dragged Feli along with them!" you say angrily. "_He_ would have waited for me!"

Realizing that you're a bit conspicuous out here in the open, you head for the nearby church. If anything, you should at least be safe there. True, you'd like to give the head vampire a piece of your mind, but you'd much rather have backup.

The church is an old one, but in surprisingly Good condition. The steps creak as you walk on them, but they hold your weight fairly well.

The two front windows are colorful mosaics of crosses. Orange and yellow tiles of glass make up the body of the cross while shades of blue fill in the background. It's a bit weird that they're clean and unscathed, but that fails to register as suspicious in your brain.

Your inability to read the eerie atmosphere is your undoing, as the moment you open the door they grab you.

**Yell ==**

**Fight! ==**

**Faint ==**

Immediately, you turn to punch whoever has got your left shoulder, but they grab your wrist with lightning-quick reflexes.

"Not so fast, mon cher!" a French voice chuckles. "You see, we have you quite outnumbered, and it would be very unfortunate if you forced us to do something... violent."

Before you can get a Good look around, the person on your right slips a blindfold over your eyes and then muffles your protest with a piece of cloth tied around your head.

"Wait a moment, Mathias." the Frenchman says. "Pull him into the light."

You are shoved a few feet sideways and suddenly feel the warmth of daylight on your face. Someone gasps.

"It is him!" the French guy says. You're pleased that he's heard of your heroicness. "Don't let Mathieu see him!"

"Too late, 'papa'." a gentle new voice says. The French vampire swears quietly.

"Go make your _girlfriend_ some pancakes or something, Matt." the guy to your right says in a Scandinavian accent. "This is none of your business."

"It seems to me that this is _very much_ my business." Matthew says.

"Well, it's not." the French guy says.

"Take his blindfold off." says the newcomer.

"But-"

"_Take it off._"

And just like that, the blindfold is removed.

**What the fuck ==**

You blink, slightly surprised at how dark the church is, and even though you can't see very well, several things become obvious to you.

Chicago Overcoat headquarters moved to a church.

You're in that church.

The church could really use a dusting.

The vampire who made his buddies take your blindfold off is Canadian.

He looks just like you.

You stare at him in shock and a strange sense of familiarity. He's got the caramel blond hair, though his is slightly longer; and the blue eyes, though his are more violet; the same nose; the same chin... all that's missing is the glasses, and that's because vampires don't wear glasses.

"Who..." you whisper. "Who are you?"

"Matthew Williams." he says.

**Introduce yourself ==**

**Freak out ==**

**A bit of both ==**

"I'm Alfred F Jones." you reply shakily. The two vampires at your sides seem to be watching with apprehension and curiosity.

"Alfred..." Matthew says. "You're not, by any chance, the son of Amelia Jones?"

"That's me!" you say with a weak smile. You really have no clue what the fuck is going on here. Maybe this is a tactic the vampires are using to distract you?

"I... oh my god... Alfred, we're brothers." Matthew says.

"Wha-"

"I think we're done here!" French guy says loudly, clamping a hand over your mouth. He and the Dane begin to drag you away. You struggle against their grip, desperate to learn more about this Canadian vampire who may be related to you, but they are super-humanly strong and pull you away with ease.

Matthew catches your eye one last time and mouths "_I'll explain later._"

* * *

**Ravenous is from the musical Starmites. I chose that song because America and Canada kinda remind me of Eleanor and Bizarbra and Ravenous is the song I associate with kidnapping.**


	22. No Good Deed

**Be the Italian about fifteen minutes ago ==**

Man, this story is chronologically confusing.

You are now Feliciano Vargas, and you have just been kidnapped from right outside the city hall. Was there a city hall in N.Y.C in nineteen thirty-eight? I don't know... I wasn't even alive back then!

ANYWAY, you're pretty damn distressed because now Alfred's all alone and you're being dragged, blindfolded, through an unknown building. You and your entire group – except for Alfred.

However, you're a teensy bit thrilled. Maybe you're being taken to the same place that Ludwig is? Because that would be great! So, all in all, you're a mix of terrified and anxious and eager and antsy and generally a huge mess of emotions.

Lovi's right next to you; you can tell by his muttered swears and heavy footsteps. Hesitantly, you entwine your fingers with his, because it's been so long since you've held your brother's hand and you could really use some comfort.

Surprisingly, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, and you return it.

Antonio, who's on your other side, also takes your hand.

"It'll be alright, Feli..." he whispers.

"Hey!" says one of the vampires holding you prisoner. He sounds Scottish. "No talking!"

"We'll talk all we wanna!" Feliks says.

"Shh..." says Toris.

"Hey," says a new, startlingly familiar voice. "Take off those two's blindfolds."

Your blindfold is removed, and so is Lovi's.

**OMG, it's... ==**

"Mathias?" you whisper, staring up at the Dane. He smirks.

"Well well well! If it isn't our favorite little Italian dish!" he says. "It's a surprise you aren't dead yet! How many people have died to ensure that? I see ol' Lovi became a zombie! What's the matter, buddy? Werecat got your tongue? I have to say, this is an improvement!"

He's a vampire.

A Wicked one.

Vaguely, you are aware that you're in a church, but you hardly pay any attention to that fact.

"And look what else!" exclaims a French vampire with wavy blond hair. "Isn't that Kiku Honda?"

"Who?" Mathias asks.

"That kid brother of Yao's who ran away all those years ago!" the Scott says.

"Won't this be a pleasant surprise for the boss!" the Frenchman says cheerfully. "Several key members of Abyssinia, the little brother of Yao Wang himself, a zombie, and the guy who got the revolution moving!"

_Who's that?_

You, dummy.

**Plead ==**

**Faint ==**

**Surrender ==**

**Fight ==**

"Mathias!" you say. The Dane looks over at you with an eyebrow raised. "Why are you doing this? You were never one to support the vampires! What would Lukas say?"

The blond quirks his head to the side.

"Who?"

Holy crap.

"Lukas!" you tell him, tears welling up. "Lukas Bondevik, older brother to the late Emil Bondevik! Lukas Bondevik, who kept us all from seriously injuring ourselves! Fair blond hair, slate blue eyes, a blank expression?"

Mathias shrugs.

"Doesn't ring a bell."

Before you can say anything else, the Frenchman turns to the Scott.

"Wasn't there a noisy American in the bunch?" he asks. The redhead shrugs. "You and Mathias had better go check, then. I will have Mathieu help me escort the prisoners to the dungeon."

_Since when does a church have a dungeon?_

Since I said so.

"Whatever you say." Mathias says. He and the Scott turn to leave.

**Have the final word ==**

"Lukas did and still loves you, you know!" you call after the Dane.

He doesn't respond.

"That... bastard." Lovino mutters as your group is shoved forward.

A new vampire joins the foray, and you can't help but think that he looks nice. The French vampire, who introduces himself as Francis, seems to think so too, because he's much nicer to Matthew than he is to his other subordinates.

Team Stars is led down a flight of stairs, and you find yourselves in a long hallway of a dungeon. Your group gets split up into cells. Toris, Feliks and the Swiss guy are put in the second one to the right; Kiku is put in a cell with three other werecats, and you, Lovi and Antonio are kept walking to the end.

But before you reach the final cell, a familiar voice calls out to you.

"Feliciano?"

You look to your right.

"Ludwig!" you exclaim, running over to the cell and reaching your arms through the bars to hug him. He pulls you as close as he is able to and wraps you in a warm embrace.

"And also me!" Gilbert says from behind him. "And Heracles is here, too."

"Is Kiku alright?" the Grecian werewolf asks.

"Si!" Antonio says, because you can't seem to speak right now.

"As touching as this reunion is," says Francis, "I think we'd better move on."

**Move on ==**

**Never let go ==**

Tearfully, you remove yourself from Ludwig and rejoin the party.

"I promise, Feli, we'll find a way out of this." Ludwig assures you.

You don't have a chance to say anything in response, for you and your brother and Antonio are shoved unceremoniously into the final cell.

You immediately collapse to your knees, and the other two join you.

"That was mean." you can hear Matthew saying. "You could have let them have a moment."

"Moments cause hope. We don't need any of that in here." Francis replies. "Someday, Mathieu, you will learn that romances always end tragically."

They leave.

"Hey, Feli?" Antonio asks, because you've pulled your sweater over your face.

"Feli's not here. He's in sweatertown." you say.

"Feliciano." he says, pulling your shirt down so he can look you in the eyes, "We're all here, together, and we're all alive. We're all uninjured, and we're in vampire HQ. It could be a lot worse."

"I know..." you say. "I just... I can't believe Mathias forgot about Lukas! Vampire magic must be terrifyingly strong to be able to override that! What if one of us gets turned and forgets about the people we hold most dear?"

"Toris didn't forget!" says Antonio. "And that Fin you told me about! They stayed true to their cause!"

"But Mathias was one of the best guys I ever knew!" you say.

"Obviously, he was kind of weak-willed!" Toni replies.

"Excuse me, gents..." says a sing-song voice from the cell across the hall. You and Antonio look over to see a young boy and a white dog staring at you curiously. "Did I hear you say Feliciano?"

"Si... that's my name." you tell him.

"Wow, it's a right pleasure to meet you!" the boy says enthusiastically. "My name is Peter Kirkland! My papa, Berwald, knew you!"

**What the... ==**

"Papa?" you ask.

"Well, adopted papa." Peter says, hugging the dog. "This is Hanatamago!"

"How is Berwald?" you ask. "And Lukas? And Tino?"

"All fine!" Peter says.

You let out a sharp breath of air. At least they're alright...

"What are you doing here, Peter?" Antonio asks.

"Well... I heard them say they were rounding up werewolves... so here I am!" he says. "That nice Canadian guy made me pancakes! They were really good! And he also gave some to that guy with the white hair! I think he might be making more soon..."

Being imprisoned doesn't seem to get this kid down.

"See, Feli?" Antonio says. "We can do this."

"I... you're right."

* * *

***Uses ALL the Wicked songs***


	23. Starmites

**Be the hero again ==**

Once more, you are the hero.

You have been put in a cell with a very familiar face – Kiku.

With him, there are three other werecats. A weird guy named Vlad, a trembling kid named Raivis and a spunky Hungarian girl named Elizaveta.

Sitting in front of your prison is Matthew. He hands you a plate of pancakes and gets right down to business.

"You see... your mom-_our _mom- was a witch." he says. "Not a bad witch! A very good one, in fact. I don't know much about dad, but apparently he disappeared with you soon after you were born. Mom was left with me, who was born a before you and was given mom's maiden name, and eventually she married Francis...

"This was back when the everything-apocalypse was just getting started, but he got turned by the head vampire himself very soon after the wedding. He... he drained mom... and raised me. Not too long ago, he turned me... and that's that."

"Huh." you say around a mouthful of pancake. "No offense, but your step-dad is a royal asshole."

"Yeah, I know." he says.

"But, wow... I actually have a little brother!" you say.

"I'm older than you!"

"But you got turned, what, two years ago? So that means you are stuck at that age, while I am, technically, a year older."

"Alfred-san, I'm not sure that makes sense..." Kiku says.

"No, I think he's onto something..." the Hungarian says.

"I think you're all wrong." Vlad says.

"I think this isn't relevant..." Raivis says quietly.

**Redirect ==**

"_I_ think that these pancakes are delicious." you say. "Also, Mattie, since I'm your brother and all... can I count on you to help us out?"

Matthew looks around, making sure he won't be overheard.

"Yes, I suppose..." he says. "If I didn't have any family other than Francis, I wouldn't do it, but since you're here then I'll do whatever I can. However, I'll have to do it my way – subtly. I can't overpower anyone, so I'll be doing work in the shadows."

"Great!" you say. "Being kidnapped had been the best thing that's ever happened to me! Hey, can you tell the other members of my party that I made it here alright?"

"Mm-hmm." says Matthew.

"Thank you so much, Mattie!" you say happily.

"But whatever we're gonna do, we'll have to do it quick..." he tells you. "The head vampire intends to kill or turn you all very soon... starting with that Italian guy."

"What?!" you exclaim. "Why Feli? He's as innocent as they come!"

"That's why." Matthew says. "They like their blood young and sweet."

"What assholes!" you say angrily.

"Maybe we'll have to do something about that innocence?" Elizaveta suggests.

"Maybe you should get your mind out of the gutter." Vlad suggests.

"Maybe you should stop _sleeping_ in the gutter."

"Maybe you should join me."

"Maybe there's no room."

**Intervene ==**

**Get some popcorn and watch the catfight ==**

"Girls, girls!" you say. "You're both pretty! But right now we've got to focus on something else!"

"Like not ripping each other to shreds?" Raivis suggests.

"Come on, we gotta rip at least ONE vampire to shreds!" you tell him. "Alright, Mattie, I'll need you to alert Team Stripes as to where we are, and start making plans with them. Basically, the goal is to get me and my group out of here and to make the head vampire surrender."

"Got it." Matthew says, getting to his feet.

"Again, thanks a billion!" you tell him.

He smiles and turns to leave, passing an incoming Dane as he exits.

Mathias proceeds to head over to Feli's cell.

* * *

**Starmites is from the musical of the same name. I just chose it because SPACE PUNK IS AMERICA.**


	24. Piano Lesson

**Be Kiku, a while later ==**

You have been taken out of your cell and are being marched down a hallway, quite impolitely. The French vampire who's got the gun at your back is making you quite uncomfortable and you want nothing more than to cut him into pretty French ribbons.

"Ah, it has been a while since we've last had a werecat on our hands..." he says. "I had forgotten how sweet they were~"

_Ugh._

What, so it's OK when Heracles flirts with you, but not OK when Francis does the same?

"I can imagine the look you'd be giving me right now..." he continues. "It's both a blessing and a curse that I'm walking behind you."

Alright, Kiku, I see your point.

"Are you not going to say anything?" the vampire asks. "I'm sure you have a lovely voice... no matter, I suppose I can make you... _talk_ later."

I thought you were bitter, Francis...?

_Romantically, yes. Sexually? No._

Ye gads.

"Ah, we have arrived." Francis says, stopping in front of an office door. "A shame... parting is such sweet sorrow." he opens the door and gestures for you to enter. After you do, he closes the door and you can hear him walk away, probably feeling disappointed that he couldn't get any reactions out of you.

**Quietly observe ==**

You don't have time to quietly observe because you find yourself face-to-face with your older brother, whom you haven't seen in years.

"Kiku..." Yao says, face blank and eyes wide.

"If this is all I was brought to see, then I'm ready to be returned to the dungeon." you say coldly. Yao frowns.

"Kiku, please, _must_ you make this reunion so bitter ~aruka?" he asks. "I really have missed you."

"I'm sure you have." you say. "You and your numerous search parties and spells of finding and bloodhounds and-"

"I didn't bother looking for you because I had thought you would return within a day!" Yao says insistently. "And then, when you didn't show up, I thought you were dead! And now Jia-Long has disappeared and lord knows what Yong Soo is getting up to, aaiyah-"

"I don't care." you say. "Jia-Long can take care of himself."

"That's what _he_ thinks!" Yao says loudly, stomping his foot. "He hasn't realized the fragility of his humanity yet! This world is enough to drive us humans mad!"

"Us?" you ask. "There is no 'us'. Didn't you know that I am a werecat now?"

Yao blinks, apparently unaware of that fact.

"Kiku-"

"Don't give me that lecture on 'keeping pride in my humanity', because you're hardly better yourself, working for the head vampire... and no _human_ could ever fall in love with such a heartless man. Neither of us are very _human_ anymore, Yao."

"It's all we have left ~aru!"

"No, it's all _you_ have left." you tell him. "While I was gone, I... I made some friends. Wonderful people who are more human than you'll ever be. Even the zombie and werewolves are more human."

"Who will all die soon. Kiku, _please_ rejoin Chicago Overcoat, we need you. _I_ need you. If you just switch sides then I'm sure we can spare at least a few of your friends, and then maybe we can be a family aga-"

"I have a family," you say, "and you're not in it. My family is Feliciano-san and Ludwig-san and Alfred-san and Heracles-san and almost everyone you have in your prison. I can honestly say I would rather die than betray them"

"This is no time to be honorable!" Yao exclaims. "Please... I can't stand to lose another sibling... not after Mei Mei..."

"I was never yours to lose." you say firmly. "Neither was Mei Mei, nor Jia-Long nor Yong Soo. I don't know about them, but I think I have the right to choose who I belong to, and that isn't you."

Yao opens his mouth, about to retort, but then he realizes something.

"Oh no... Kiku... you've fallen in love ~aru."

**Crap ==**

Was it that obvious?

"So?" you ask calmly.

"Who is it?" Yao asks.

You remain silent.

"Kiku!" says Yao. "Haven't you learned anything from me? Falling in love only leads to heartbreak and longing ~aru!"

"Says you."

"And I am right!"

"You are blind." you tell him. "You refuse to see all the strong relationships blooming around you because the one you love can't feel anything but blood-lust."

"Don't bring him into this."

"But isn't he the cause of it all?" you ask. "If it weren't for him, then there wouldn't be any real issues here. You just don't have the heart to blame him. Too bad he'll never appreciate that."

Yao's knuckles go white.

"You are so immature ~aru."

"That's _your_ opinion." you say. "Anyway, can I go back to the dungeon? It was much more pleasant down there than up here."

"He'll kill you!" Yao cries. "I'll never forgive myself if that happens ~aru!"

"But you'll forgive _him._" you say.

"Why is being devoted a bad thing?" Yao asks. "Just a moment ago you were going on about strong relationships and such!"

"I meant _mutual_ relationships." you reply.

Yao grabs you by the shoulders.

"You brat..." he says darkly, magic cackling around him.

You shape-shift into cat form, slash his hand with your claws and then leap out of his arms. You then revert to human form and dust yourself off.

"No need to raise such a spectacle." you say.

Yao huffs, picking up a phone.

"You may take him back to his cell ~aru." Yao says primly, as if he had never yelled at you in his life.

* * *

**Piano Lesson/If You Don't Mind is from The Music Man. Btw, I'm writing a Hetalia version of the Music Man, so... yeah.**


	25. Immolation

**A bit later ==**

You are now Feliciano again. Mathias has just informed you that you will be executed soon. You have no idea what that means, but you're sure it's bad. Now he's leaning against Peter's cell and smirking at you like an asshole.

"It's almost time," he says, "Francis will be down soon to take you up, so you'd better start saying your Goodbyes."

You can't even cry anymore.

**Retort ==**

"Why bother? _You_ never said Goodbye to Lukas..." you tell him.

"Still don't know who you're talking about, kiddo." Mathias shrugs. "But who knows? Maybe I'll pay him a visit and drain him after you're dead."

Antonio gets to his feet.

"You can't do this!" he says. "It's wrong! Immoral! Inhuman!"

"That's just the thing, isn't it?" Mathias asks. "I'm _not_ human. I'm better than that. I'm at the top of the food chain, bud, and we're running this little game of cat-and-mouse. Don't even bother trying to appeal to my sense of decency, because I ain't got one. Don't you get it? Your whole crusade is pointless. Why not surrender and join our forces?"

"Never." says Antonio.

You move to sit closer to Lovi, who is looking more human every day. His eyes are more focused and he no longer drags his leg behind him as he walks. His cheeks are still hollow and you can still see his veins fairly clearly, but some color has returned to his cheeks and he seems to know that you are his brother.

"Your loss, then." Mathias shrugs. "I guess we can still have some fun with you... maybe we could tear apart that zombie you're so attached to and make you watch?"

Antonio stiffens.

"I won't let you." he says. Before Mathias can reply, he continues. "I won't let you touch him or Feli. You know what, Mathias? I pity you. It must be strange not to love... lonely and dark and confining, I bet. You tell me I'm missing out on a lot of fun by turning down your offer to, well, turn me, but I say _you're_ missing out on being human."

**Antonio... ==**

"Don't antagonize him further." you say quietly, but neither of them pay you any attention.

"Don't preach to me, pretty boy." Mathias hisses, drawing closer to the bars. "The last guy who did that got his best friend killed. Besides, since when was love ever that great? It weakens you and breaks your heart in the end. There's no point in something stupid like that."

"Does there need to be a point?" Antonio asks.

"You're starting to get on my nerves..." Mathias warns. "Sorry, but there's no way you'll inspire a change of heart in me. You'll just have to get used to the fact that you're gonna die sooner rather than later."

**Do something already ==**

**Let Antonio continue to dig his own grave ==**

You get to your feet and walk over to the bars of the cage.

"You're wrong, Mathias." you tell him. "Alright, I have no way of knowing when each of us will die, but you're wrong about being on the winning side. Sure us humans can be dumb and silly sometimes, and we fight and argue a lot, but you'll never manage to suppress us because we're... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, resilient. We're resilient."

Mathias scoffs.

"No you're not!" he chuckles, drawing a gun from inside his jacket and aiming it at Antonio. "Watch!"

"No!" you exclaim as Lovi gets to his feet. "I meant as a whole! All together, we could probably topple your organization, I bet!"

"Well... why haven't you done it yet?" the Dane asks.

"We're waiting for the right moment and the right weapon." you lie. Truthfully, you're pretty sure your entire kind is made up of cowards... except Antonio and Alfred and Feliks Berwald and Lukas, who are all very brave.

"You can't afford to wait any longer." Mathias tells you. "Your whole species is going down the drain."

"But then... what will you eat?" you ask. "You guys don't like animal blood..."

"We'll drain the werecreatures." Mathias shrugs. "And maybe we'll keep a few select humans alive to breed then eat."

"That's sickening." you whimper.

"To you, maybe." he shrugs.

"Feli, let me deal with this..." Antonio says, despite the fact that he's still got a gun pointed at him.

"Mathias," you say, ignoring Antonio, "I hate to tell you this, but you're the bad guy, and the thing about bad guys... they always get their comeuppance."

"I told you too many stories." he sighs. "Feli, this is the real world. There won't be any dragons or vikings coming to save you and Good and wicked are just words. Nothing can stop me from killing your friends... here, allow me to demonstrate."

What happens next occurs too quickly for you to process properly.

All you know is that Mathias shot the gun at Antonio.

So why is Lovino standing in front of the barrel of the weapon?

**Oh crap ==**

You and Antonio watch, dumbfounded, as Lovi sinks to his knees, staring down at the gaping hole in his chest.

Mathias smirks and walks away, but you pay him no attention.

Antonio kneels next to Lovi, who looks over at him.

"Antonio..." he says.

"You... you just..." Antonio stammers, eyes wide.

Lovi nods.

Antonio grabs him by the shoulders and presses a kiss to his mouth.

And then something TOTALLY SHOCKING happens.

Lovi's cheeks flush a bright tomato red.

And so does his bullet wound.

"He's bleeding!" you exclaim.

Antonio pulls away and he and Lovi both look down at the blood pouring out of the wound.

"Lovi!" says the panicked Spaniard.

**Be useful ==**

**Panic ==**

You push Antonio aside and have Lovi hold up his shirt so you can examine his wound.

"Tear something up so we can stop the bleeding!" you tell your friend.

Before he can do anything, a new voice is heard.

"Time's up, mon cher." says none other than Francis Bonnefoy.

"But-"

He opens the cell door and pulls you to your feet.

As you are led away, you turn to call back to Antonio.

"Keep pressure on the wound... Goodbye, Antonio."

"Feli!"

There is time for nothing more, as Francis has a gun at your back and is marching you down the dimly-lit hall. You feel oddly numb, and hardly scared at all. The blood on Lovi's shirt remains imprinted on your memory; you see it every time you close your eyes.

It means something, you're sure of it.

It means that Lovi is human again.

And you think you know how.

As you reach Ludwig's cell, you pause.

"Please... let me say Goodbye?" you ask Francis.

"I really shouldn't... but go ahead." he says with a shrug. "It's _your_ funeral."

You hurry over to the bars where Ludwig awaits, arms outstretched. He catches you in a fierce hug and all you can think about is how warm and comfortable you feel.

"Feliciano..." he says quietly, shakily, and you pull back a little so you can look up at him.

He averts his gaze, but not before you see that there are tears in his eyes.

"Ludwig," you say, reaching up to put your hand to the side of his face, "it'll be alright. I promise."

"I..." he sighs, "ja, Feli. I'm sure."

"I'm serious." you say. "It will all work out."

"How?" Gilbert asks from the back of the cell. "How can you even _hope_ that anymore?"

"Gilbert!" reprimands Ludwig.

**Reassure ==**

"I'm not _hoping,_ Gil." you tell him. "I'm going to _make it_ better."

"Tick tock..." Francis says, pointing to his watch.

Ludwig leans in close to you.

"You are the brightest light in this dark world right now, Feliciano..." he says quietly. "Don't go."

You lean in to give Ludwig a chaste kiss on the lips before turning to follow the French vampire down the prison hall.

"Ciao, Ludwig..." you say.

"Feliciano!"

"Auf wiedersehen." says Gilbert.

"No..." says Alfred.

"Sayonara, Feliciano-san."

Geez, what drama queens!

Francis takes you out of the dungeon and leads you to the sanctuary.

"Au revoir, little dove." Francis says, leaving and making sure to lock the door behind him.

You're not that scared.  
Anxious, sure.

Worried, of course.

Scared? Nah.

Because you've got a theory... and even if it doesn't work, at least you'll die knowing you tried.

You _are_ scared for Lovi, though. That looked like a pretty deadly wound.

You look around the large chapel. You are standing in front of a door in the middle of a wall. To the right is the main entrance to the church, bolted up tight and probably sealed with magic; to the left is a huge stained glass window and a tall podium. In front of you are several rows of pews, all in fairly decent shape.

There is also a grand pipe organ, but it is cobwebbed and dusty and sad-looking. Across from it are a few rows of seats for a choir, also decrepit.

Standing near the organ, looking up at the window, is a person who you guess must be the head vampire.

He doesn't _look _like a vampire, though. He looks like a business man.

And sitting in one of the choral pews is another person who is reading a book. He looks nice, you think... of course, you think a lot of people look nice.

After a silence a bit too long to be bearable, you nervously clear your throat.

"Uh... hi?" you try.

The standing man looks over his shoulder at you with an appraising gaze.

His face doesn't look all that vampiric, either. He's got dark eyebrows and messy blond hair and sparkling emerald eyes. The only thing that makes him look even slightly undead is his skin, which is whiter than the palest ghost.

The reading person doesn't look up.

"So you're the one who's been causing all this trouble..." the blond says with a distinctly British accent.

"Honestly, I could be saying that about _you._" you say as politely as you can. You're all about politeness. "Anyway... I suppose you're the head vampire?"

The Brit nods and turns to walk a bit closer.

"Indeed. I am Arthur Kirkland. You must be Feliciano Vargas."

"Si."

He holds out his hand, which you shake.

"Hmm, I was told that you were a coward..." the vampire says. "It appears that I was misinformed."

"No, I really am a coward." you tell him. "I just don't find this situation that scary! You actually look rather nice and this church is so pretty and those pancakes Matthew made were pretty delicious so... yeah."

Arthur raises an eyebrow.

"You are aware that you were brought here to die, correct?"

"Si, but we all die sooner or later, so why fuss?"

The Brit looks thoughtful.

"Suppose I offered to keep you from dying... indefinitely?"

**That would be great! ==**

**Heck no ==**

**Only if you save Lovi ==**

"No thanks, mister." you say. "I really don't like the idea of having to drink blood."

"What if I told you that you don't have a choice?"

"Then I will step out into the sunlight the minute after you turn me." you say. "After freeing my friends, of course! I may not be very strong or smart, but I promise that I will be on the side of the angels until the very end."

"Then I guess I'll have to kill you." the Brit shrugs. "No big loss, I suppose."

"But I ought to put up at least _some_ sort of a fight, don't you think?" you ask. "It is traditional..."

"What fight are you _able_ to put up?" Arthur scoffs. "According to my informants, you have no known strengths and your other team is being taken into captivity as we speak."

"Well, I do have a theory..." you say.

"Let's hear it, then." Arthur says.

"It will take a while to explain..." you say.

"We have time."

"Well... my theory is a bit of a corny one, but I guess that's why I like it." you say. "You see... this whole experience has been pretty terrifying, but also enlightening." you tell him. "See, I think Mathias became a Wicked vampire because he thought his love was unrequited..."

You pause.

"Francis is Wicked because his past romances always went sour... Mattie is only working with you guys because of Francis... and then, all the nice vampires I have met are that way because they are loved or believe firmly in love."

Arthur crosses his arms and gives you a look that says "is that so?"

The person who was reading, who you assume is Yao Wang, looks up at you, brown eyes meeting yours fleetingly.

"And..." you continue. "And today... my brother, who was a zombie... he became human, because he fell in love."

"And your point is...?" Arthur asks.

"My point is, love is humanity's strength and magic's weakness." you say. "And it could destroy you, since you are the starting point of all this hate."

"That," says Arthur, "might actually be a sound theory. One problem, however: I have no love for anybody... and who on earth could ever love me enough to destroy me?"

"I have an idea." says a new voice.

* * *

**Yet another Starmites song! This whole fanfic was just an excuse to work "Immolation" in somehwere.**


	26. As The World Falls Down

**Be Yao ==**

You are now Yao Wang.

Your little brother just walked into the room right when you were having an internal breakdown.

"Jia-Long!" you say loudly, getting to your feet. "Where _have_ you been and what have I said about interrupting this sort of thing?"

"I was just helping the guy out, _mom._" Jia-Long says with a shrug. "You," he says to the prisoner, "must be Feliciano Vargas."

"Mm-hmm!" says Feliciano. "It's nice to meet you!"

"Go away, Jia-Long. I'll deal with you later ~aru." you say.

"Let the lad stay if he wants to." says Arthur. "Besides, it sounds like he has something to say."

"I do indeed." Jia-Long says. You collapse exasperatedly back onto one of the benches, glaring halfheartedly at Arthur. "As I was saying, Feliciano's theory could actually work, all things considered. You see, Arthur, as someone who doesn't know how to feel love, you don't know how to recognize it.

"You think that no one could love you just because you're the bad guy... and you seem to be quite alright with that. However, people tend to fall in love whether they want to or not... even if the object of their affections is a major jerkwad – no offense. My point is, there could still be someone with the power to destroy you."

You think you know who Jia-Long's talking about, and if that's the case then he's grounded for life.

You look over at Arthur, who seems mildly interested but not quite impressed.

"You were human once, I'm sure," Jia-Long continues, "you just don't remember it. You don't remember how you became the first vampire and you've forgotten anyone from your life as a human; so suppose that there was one person from said life that offered you immortality somehow... and you took that offer."

How does Jia-Long know all this? You never told him about any of it! He could ruin everything... but if you protest then you'll immediately be regarded with suspicion. An internal battle is raging within you, and all you know is that you must restrain yourself or you'll risk making Arthur mad.

**Raise a fuss and hope for the best ==**

**Discreetly cast a spell on Jia-Long ==**

**Do nothing ==**

You are morally against placing spells on your adopted family, and Arthur could kill you if he wanted to, so you remain quiet.

"And suppose that someone loved you dearly enough to turn himself-"

"_Him_self?"

"Sure, why not. To turn _himself_ immortal, too, if in a slightly different way. Say that this person is someone who's been at your side for a long time – someone you might take for granted every now and then. Say that this someone deserves so much better than you, but still adores you anyway. Suppose it's someone in this very church."

"... Francis?" Arthur asks.

Jia-Long almost laughs. Almost. You feel like crying.

"You really _are_ hopeless." he says.

"Are you talking about who I think you're talking about?" asks Feliciano. "Because if it is, then that would be really convenient!"

"Depends on who you're thinking about." Jia-Long replies. "Let's let Arthur figure this one out, though."

"I _despise_ guessing games." Arthur says darkly.

"Let me tell you a story, then, while you think it through." Jia-Long says. "A story that's hardly relevant, but needs to be told so that whoever your secret admirer is can make the right decision."

You cannot _believe_ how blatantly obvious Jia-Long is being.

"Ooh, I like stories!" says Feliciano, who appears to have forgotten any danger that he might have been in.

"It goes like this: once upon a time, this guy ran away from home. He still isn't sure exactly why he did it, but he'll never regret it. After exiting a store of art, he found himself face-to-face with a ghost. The ghost wasn't emotionless and blank like the others – no sir, he was sad and scared and nervous and the guy felt something he hadn't ever really felt before: compassion.

"As it turned out, this ghost was looking for his brother. Now, even though the guy had some issues with his _own_ brother, he agreed to help the ghost. Together, they set off in search of the theater where the ghost had grown up. Along the way they faced arduous trials such as crazy Poles and creepy wraiths.

"The guy came to realize that he was in love with the ghost, and knew that the ghost would disappear upon seeing his brother. Though this guy was selfish, he still brought the ghost to the theater and watched him go. That was when I realized the depth of the feelings a certain someone has for you, Arthur, and I think you owe him an apology."

"A nice story, but that did not aid me in the guessing game." Arthur says, crossing his arms. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm awfully thirsty, and-"

"Don't you get it?" Feliciano asks. "If this person so much as _touches_ you, you'll be destroyed! And me and Jia-Long are the only ones who know who that is! Are you _sure_ you want to kill me?"

"Yeah, who knows if I'll talk." Jia-Long adds.

"I think you're just trying to avoid getting eaten." Arthur says to Feliciano.

"Well of _course_ I am!" the Italian says. "It's human instinct!"

"And frankly, I'm sick of it." Arthur says before turning to you. "Yao, what do you think?"

You gulp.

"About what ~aruka?"

"About this little theory of theirs." he says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Perhaps you will succeed where I failed in their guessing game?"

You shrug and shake your hear.

"Y-your guess is as Good as mine, if not better ~aru."

"Alright, I've had enough." Jia-Long announces, stomping his foot. "Yao, we're all sick of this everything-apocalypse and you know it. For the greater Good, just _tell him already._"

"No."

"Please?" Feliciano asks. "It would make everything so much easier! Plus, my brother is kinda dying right now and I don't want this to take much longer."

That makes you feel just the teensiest bit inclined to go along with their wishes. You, too, are a brother, after all.

"Dammit, Yao! I've been through too much just to watch you chicken out of the most important thing you could ever do!" Jia-Long says.

"Surely it's not _that_ vital?" Arthur asks curiously.

"Shut it." Jia-Long snaps. "Yao, if I can let go of the most wonderful boy on the planet, then you can let go of this jerk."

"Don't talk about him like that ~aru." you hiss under your breath. "That's _my_ job."

"This wouldn't just be fixing the pest problem – it would also mean bring us one step closer to being a family again." Jia-Long replies. Then he shrugs and back away. "It's up to you."

Everyone is looking at you, including _him._

You frown and close your eyes, thinking for a moment. Then you sigh and open your eyes, looking anywhere but Arthur.

**Confess ==**

**Deny ==**

**Mental breakdown ==**

"I do know of someone..." you say. "Someone a bit foolish... someone you trust... someone who's avoided any direct physical contact with you since nineteen-twelve. Someone who is going to murder Jia-Long for making me spill this secret. Someone who quits right now because _I can't handle this anymore ~aru._"

Arthur blinks.

"How did I not see that coming?" he muses out loud. "Of _course_ it's you, Yao. No one else is around me enough to feel like that."

"So what will you do with me now?" you ask. "Have me executed?"

"Frankly, I'm surprised you haven't tried to end me yet." Arthur says. "Aren't you human? Don't you want your race to survive? Don't you long to have your family together again?"

"You don't get it!" you cry. "This is more than primal instinct! This is a matter of the heart! I wouldn't imagine you'd understand ~aru."

"And you'd be right." Arthur says, smirking slightly. "I will never know what it feels like to get my heart broken."

"Do you feel empty inside, Arthur?" Jia-Long asks. "Empty, no matter how much you eat? Bored, no matter what you do? If so, you're suffering _constant_ heartbreak. I know because that's how I was before I met Emil."

Arthur looks like a bucket fell from the heavens and hit him on the head.

"Speaking of empty, I could go for some pasta..." Feliciano says.

"Well, Yao?" Jia-Long asks. "What are you going to do?"

"Absolutely nothing ~aru." you say. "I hate you all."

"Even me?" Feliciano asks.

You nod.

"Aw, that's a shame! I was hoping we could be friends!" he says.

"Yao..." says Arthur, and you all look over at him. "Is it true? Do you really feel that way about me?"

You nod, not trusting yourself to speak.

"And is it true that I would be annihilated if you were to touch me?"

"Theoretically, yes." you say. "It's... never been tested ~aru."

"And is it true that you made me like this?"

You nod.

"What... what was I like before all this?"

Now there's a question you weren't expecting!

**Be honest ==**

**Glorify ==**

"You were... a stuffy, annoying, stuck-up prick ~aru." you say. "But... you were also kind and... well-read... and a bit of a dork."

"Did you intend for me to end up like this?"

"No... I just wanted to spend forever with you ~aru." you say earnestly.

"Aww~" says Feliciano, and Jia-Long shushes him.

"Do you regret causing this?" asks Arthur, and you can't help but wonder why he's asking you all these questions. You're a threat to him and he ought to have had you sent to the dungeon by now.

"More than anything ~aru."

"How long have you... felt like this?"

"Been in love with you, you mean?" you ask. Arthur nods. "For a long while... I think I loved you the day we met, actually. You wouldn't remember it, of course, but we were so stubborn... you kept teasing me about my ponytail and I taunted you about your eyebrows ~aru."

"That sounds romantic." Arthur says sarcastically.

"Love is more than positive feelings." you say sagely.

"What is it, then?" Arthur asks.

"Mutual weirdness ~aru."

Arthur looks at you with a tinge of bewilderment.

"Apparently, there are some things I don't understand about the world." he admits.

"Many things." you agree.

Arthur leans back against the podium, resting his chin in his hand. He looks to be deep in thought and, for a moment, he almost looks the way he did before he became a vampire.

"Yao..." he says, looking up at you, "kiss me."

* * *

**Dafuq, Arthur?**

**I remember telling someone that I wasn't going to do a chapter from Yao's perspective... well, I lied.**

**As The World Falls Down is from the movie Labyrinth.**


	27. Kiss The Girl

**Be Feliciano ==**

You are now Feliciano again.

The room has just gone even more silent than before, and all anyone can think is "... what?"

"Ex... excuse me?" Yao asks.

"Did you not hear me correctly?" Arthur asks. "This whole... everything. It's gone on for more than long enough. I'm tired, Yao. Tired and hollow. It... it has to end."

"You've got to be kidding ~aru." Yao says. "After all these years? Seriously?"

"Do you think I want this?" Arthur asks harshly. "The power is nice, but... I feel dead inside... probably because I am. I'm only just now realizing this, however, because I had no basis for comparison until today."

"You can't mean that." Yao says. "It's too..."

"Too impossible?" you suggest.

"Too easy." Yao says. "I thought that there would have to be something grand... climactic... an all-out war before all this ended. There's no way you're just giving up like that ~aru."

"It's not giving up," says Arthur, "it's fighting against my entire nature, thank you very much. It's not very Good to call your boss a quitter, you know."

"And so... you ask me to kiss you?" Yao asks in disbelief. "Forgive me, but I must be dreaming ~aru."

You go over and pinch his arm.

"Aaiyah! What was that for?" he demands, pulling away from you.

"There, see? You're not dreaming!" you tell him.

"Can we get on with this foolishness?" Arthur asks.

"Calling it foolish does not make me want to kiss you ~aru!" Yao says reproachfully. "Also I still cannot believe this."

"Then just do it!" you tell him. "It it is a dream then you'll merely wake up, and if it's real then..."

"Then I'll destroy him." Yao whispers. "I can't..."

"It's up to you, Yao." Jia-Long says. "The fate of humanity... letting Arthur rest in peace... reuniting with what's left of your family..."

"Could somebody just do _some_thing?" Arthur asks loudly. "Team Stripes is still trying to break in and I'd like to get this over with before they complicate things further."

**Encourage ==**

"You should do it, Yao." you advise him. "I think he considers himself too much of a gentleman(or he's too inexperienced) to do it himself, so... you're going to have to end this."

"I hate you all." Yao announces.

"Not me, though, right?" Arthur asks.

"_Especially_ you." Yao replies, walking over to him and looking him straight in the eyes. "You frustrate me to no end ~aru."

"Can we get this over with?" Jia-Long asks.

"Please." Arthur says sincerely.

"If you insist." Yao says, smiling slightly and obviously trying to hold back tears. Hesitantly, he leans forward onto his toes, puts his hands on Arthur's shoulders and kisses him.

You're expecting a burst of light or fire or both or... _something,_ but nothing especially dramatic happens.

"Well," says Jia-Long, "that was anti-climactic."

Yao pulls away, expression troubled, but before he can say anything, something _finally_ happens.

Arthur collapses in a heap, clutching at his chest.

"Arthur!" Yao exclaims, kneeling beside him.

You and Jia-Long hurry over, a bit surprised that Arthur didn't turn into dust or burst into flames or any cool shit like that.

"He's not dead ~aru!" Yao says.

"Are... are you _sure_ this... isn't death?" Arthur mutters weakly. "There's... a weight in my chest."

"What's wrong with him ~aruka?" Yao asks helplessly, looking up at you.

"A heart's a heavy burden..." you say quietly.

"Or maybe... a baby alien's trying to... burst from my ribcage." Arthur suggests.

You kneel next to him and check for a pulse.

"Yay! His heart's really beating!" you cheer. "Hey, Arthur... you've got to breathe!"

Arthur takes in a gasping breath and begins coughing. Yao rubs his back.

"God..." the Brit says. "Do I really have to do this every second of every day?"

"Pretty much, yeah!" you tell him.

"You learn to do it automatically..." Jia-Long shrugs.

"So... he's human ~aruka?" Yao asks breathlessly.

"Si!" you say. "Gee, and I thought he was going to spontaneously burst into flames or something! I'm glad he didn't, though, or all the other vampires would have exploded with him and hey, I guess they're all human now! That means Mathias ought to be back to how he was!"

Only Jia-Long seems to be paying any attention to you.

"You said something about your brother having been shot, right?" he asks. You nod. Jia-Long gets up and locates a phone. "I'll send someone down to help him, release the prisoners and then explain what's going on. And I guess I should send word to the team that was about to take out Team Stripes..."

"Thank you!" you say to him.

With the aid of Yao, Arthur sits up. After a moment of getting his bearings, he leans in for another kiss – something which takes the sorcerer completely off guard but welcomes, anyway.

"I still don't remember my life before all this..." Arthur says.

"That's something we can work on, I'm sure ~aru." Yao replies.

**Interrupt ==**

**Let them be ==**

"Uh... I just thought of something..." you say. "Isn't Yao immortal? And now that Arthur's human..."

"That spell only lasted for as long as Arthur was a vampire!" Yao explains. "I'll age normally, now ~aru."

"That's great!" you say cheerfully. "I'm very happy for you~"

Arthur looks up at you.

"Feliciano... I really am sorry for... basically, everything." he tells you. "I suppose I ought to apologize to everyone, but I think I owe you an apology the most."

"I accept your apology~" you say with a smile. "It's been quite an adventure, I have to admit! You two should visit the theater where I live sometime!"

"That would be nice ." Yao says, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. "Thank you so much ~aru."

"No problem!" you say earnestly.

Just then, the door flies open and several people come into the room.

"Feli!" exclaims Alfred, rushing over to give you a bear hug. "You did it! You did it!"

"Yeah, I know!' you laugh.

"How did you manage it?" he asks.

"Power of love." you shrug.

"No, really! How did you do it?"

"I'll tell you the whole story later, alright?" you say.

"Fine." he relents as Feliks pulls you into a hug, followed by a hearty handshake from Toris and another hug from Heracles. You make the mistake of hugging Kiku, who nearly kills you as he makes his getaway, and then Team Stripes enters the room and everything is happy pandemonium.

Finally, after a hug from Gilbert, you spot Ludwig.

Not hesitating for a second, you run over and tackle him. He expertly catches you in an embrace and spins you around once before setting you back on your feet. Once more, you're crying, but certainly not from sadness.

"I told you it would be alright!" you tell him.

"I know, Feli. You were right." he admits, blue eyes sparkling.

"Feli!" another voice calls, and you spin around to find a beaming Antonio. "Lovi's gonna be alright, I think! They're just finishing patching him up and he wants to see you as soon as you're ready!"

"Okey-dokey!" you say, hugging him. "But I have to say hi to someone else, first!"

Scanning the room, you eventually find him leaning against the wall near the pipe organ, resting his cheek in his hand and staring off into the distance melodramatically.

You sidle up next to him, noticing the wateriness to his eyes.

"Hey, Mathias." you say gently, He jumps and turns to look at you.

"Feliciano..." he says, smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Back to normal?" you ask. "Or at least... not evil anymore?"

"Mm-hmm." the Dane says.

After a moment, he speaks up again.

"Does Lukas really...?"

"With all his heart, I think."

Mathias sinks to the ground.

"It's so weird to feel anything besides blood lust..." he sighs. "I want to... to cry... but I can't even manage that."

You sit down next to him.

"Mathias..."

"I was such a dick and I don't even know why... am I harboring some sort of evil in me that comes out when I'm undead? I killed an innocent bird, for Pete's sake! God, I feel like such a monster..."

"You weren't yourself." you tell him. "I think that every vampire experiences some... wicked inclinations, and they have to just be inherently pure to ignore them. Not that you aren't a good guy! I just think you didn't have a chance to think properly before the wickedness consumed you."

"Even so, I wish it didn't happen." he sighs. "I must have missed out on a lot back home..."

"We really missed you." you say. "I think we should definitely go back... you, me, Ludwig, Peter, maybe Lovi... ooh, you haven't properly met Tino yet! I can't wait to introduce you two!"

"How can I face going back after all this?" Mathias asks.

"Mathias, if you don't go back. I shall tell Lukas where you are and he will hunt you down and _drag_ you back!" you tell him. "And I bet he'll bring Berwald with him!"

"Good point."

"So you're coming along?" you ask him.

"I don't really have a choice!" he laughs.

* * *

**Kiss The Girl is, of course, from The Little Mermaid.**

**So that happened. All that's left to do is wrap things up in a neat little package, put that box in a bigger box, amil it to myself and when it arrives, I'll smash it with a hammer! Or to save on postage, I'll just finish this darn thing. It should be a few more chapters, though.**


	28. Sakura Kiss

**Be Kiku ==**

You are now Kiku, about five hours after all that.

You are looting one of the spare rooms above the sanctuary for useful items, and stuffing them neatly into a bag. You are inspecting a piggy bank for money when the door opens behind you and you drop the poor pig in surprise and turn to face the intruder.

It's Heracles.

"Pillaging now, hmm?" he asks quietly, kneeling to pick up the pieces of ceramic on the floor. "I must say, you really are high-strung like a cat. What are you up to?"

"I'm running off before Yao can guilt me into staying." you say, picking up a dustpan and a broom to sweep up the pork fragments.

"Because you don't like him, or because you're scared of losing your independence?" Heracles asks.

"Because we can never truly be brothers again." you say. "I don't care if blood is thicker than water; I can't stay here."

Heracles watches you pack for a bit before speaking up again.

"Are you going to leave a note?" he asks.

"We shall see." you say. You don't even know what you would write... "I'm running away. Sorry, but I never really cared for you. -Kiku"? That would be tactless!

"What about your other brothers?" Heracles asks.

"They'll understand." you tell him. "Excuse me, but do you not have better things to do right now? Get in touch with long-lost family, if you're so big on it." normally, you wouldn't say such harsh things, but you're in a bit of a hurry and the Grecian man is being very distracting, standing there all sexy-like.

"I'm an orphan and an only child."

"Oh. My apologies." you say. "You're not missing out on much, though."

"That doesn't mean I don't have a family." Heracles says. "I believe a true family is not who you're born with, but who you choose to die with. Abyssinia is my family."

You're quiet for a moment, marveling at how deep and philosophical Heracles can be at times.

"I think it is better if I remain independent." you say. "I do not socialize well."

Heracles shrugs as you zip up your bag and make a cursory glance around the room to make sure you have everything you might need from it.

"I just need some provisions..." you say quietly in order to fill the slightly oppressive silence.

Heracles holds up a backpack which had escaped your notice.

"This should have enough for a week or so." he says, handing it to you.

You are slightly taken aback.

**Say thank you ==**

**Don't accept the gift ==**

"You... how did you..." you stammer, looking up at him.

"I could tell you didn't intend to stay from the moment they let us out of the dungeon." Heracles says. "Something about your expression, I think, and the way you avoided making any contact with Yao."

"I... I don't know what to say." you tell him.

"Maybe 'thank you'?" he asks.

"Domo arigato, Heracles-san." you say, bowing respectfully. "I don't know how I can repay the favor..."

"Don't worry about it." he says.

There is another silence, this one slightly more bearable. Finally, you sigh and hike the backpack over one shoulder.

"Sayonara..." you tell the werewolf. Before you can change your mind, you lean forward on your toes and press a chaste kiss to his lips. Heracles draws a sharp intake of breath. You pull away quickly and make for the door, more than a little aghast at yourself.

And then you feel his hand on your shoulder.

"Do you think I'm letting you leave without me?" he asks. "Especially after that?"

You turn to gape at him slightly.

"Ano..."

He produces another backpack.

"We're in this together." he tells you firmly, putting his other hand on your shoulder so you can't turn away... not that you'd want to, anyway. "Whatever the future throws at you, it throws at me."

"Heracles-san..."

"And you can't tell me you don't want me to come along, because I know you wouldn't kiss someone unless you cared very much for them. We can go anywhere you want, Kiku, and take on the world together."

You never knew that this man could be so passionate about anything.

**Deny his request ==**

**Allow him to accompany you ==**

It's really hard to suppress the smile that's creeping up onto your face.

"It could be dangerous." you say.

"All the more reason for me to come with you." he says.

"We might not ever return."

"That's fine be my." he tells you.

"You might not see the rest of Abyssinia again."

"They'll understand." he replies.

Finally, you allow yourself to smile.

"Welcome aboard." you tell him. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

**Sakura Kiss is the opening theme from Ouran High School Host Club.**

**Did anyone else notice when Kiku switched from calling Feli "Feliciano-kun" to "Feliciano-san"? It means he gained more respect for him!**

**Ano still means er/um...**


	29. What A Wonderful World

**Be Matthew ==**

You are now Matthew, about a day after that fiasco.

You are leading Gilbert out around the church and into your treasured garden, since things have calmed down a bit. Feliciano and several few others set out to find their old homes, and Alfred has basically been elected leader and is trying to contact other countries to explain why all the vampires suddenly became human.

Thanks to your newly-regained invis-abilities, you and Gilbert managed to sneak out without anyone noticing. Now that you're human again, people are paying a lot less attention to you... except for Gilbert. You seem to be the only person he's willing to spend time with, in fact.

"Ah, here we are..." you say quietly as Gilbert comes to a stop beside you and Kumakimchi nudges your hand with his nose.

Your garden is rather small, but quite pretty. It is full to the brim with flowers and vines and a couple maple trees. There is a large patch of rosemary right inside the wire fence and lots of morning glory growing on top of it. Since it's dawn, the blue flowers are blooming bright and, well, glorious.

The golden sunlight is streaming gently between the tall buildings and occasional tree. The pale blue sky is tinted with amber and dotted with fluffy white clouds. A gentle breeze tousles your hair. It had rained last night, and everything is clean and fresh. Dewdrops glisten on leaves and spiderwebs. It's a very lovely morning.

It's also quite bittersweet.

You and the albino have ventured here to visit the grave of his best friend.

At the base of a rosebush covered with yellow blossoms sits a lone white rock, polished by the ages. It's smooth and featureless, but to you and Gilbert it speaks a thousand words.

"This place..." Gilbert mutters, looking around.

"I'm sorry... do you not like it?" you ask sheepishly.

"It's perfect." he says. "Weird how something so beautiful can still exist in this cruel, stupid world..."

**Wrong! ==**

"It's weird how horrid things can still exist in this wacky, bright, wonderful world." you correct him. "But you gotta take the bad with the Good, or else you can't appreciate the Good things properly."

The silence of the dawn falls over you, and everything is still. Then you notice that Gilbert is staring at you with a far-off look in his eyes.

You cough uncomfortably and avert your gaze. He seems to catch himself in the act and also looks away.

Kumakira, tired of standing, sits down heavily and begins licking his paw, unaware of the tense and heavy air around him. You can't imagine what it would be like to lose him. If it was he who was buried under that rock... of course, he'd need a much larger rock. He's about as big as a polar bear can get and then some, since you've always been a bit over-generous with the food you give him.

Gilbert kneels in front of the grave, gazing listlessly at it as if yearning for comfort to come from the little stone. You pluck a maple leaf from a nearby tree and crouch next to Gilbert. You set the leaf in front of the rock as tribute.

The Prussian man's shoulders are shaking, and you can tell that it would be best to pretend you don't see him crying.

This is where I would normally make some derogatory comment about Gilbert, but I've got this chapter in a nice mood and I don't want to ruin it.

Tentatively, you take Gilbert's hand and give it a squeeze. After a moment, he returns the grip and lets you pull him to his feet. You give him a sad smile and he pulls you into a hug. The two of you stay that way for a moment, appreciating how comforting your shared heat is. After the two of you break apart, you give him a sad smile.

"Thank you... for everything." Gilbert says. "You're really... _supremely_ awesome, Matthew."

"You think so?" you ask. "Wow, what an honor! The great Gilbert Beilschmidt thinks I'm awesome!"

Gilbert rolls his eyes.

"Joking about my greatness is _not_ awesome, birdie."

"Birdie?" you ask, raising your eyebrows.

The albino blushes, obviously not having meant to say that.

"Well, you know... you're kinda... fluttery?" he tries. "And you've got blond hair, like a canary..."

"My hair is much darker than a canary." you say.

"I know that!" Gilbert says, still flustered. "I just meant... ah, never mind. Birds are cute, OK? Let's leave it at that."

"So I'm cute?" you ask, having a bit too much fun.

"Ye- _No!_" Gilbert exclaims before collecting himself. "I mean... _objectively,_ you're kinda... not bad-looking. You know what, forget I said anything. Let's just go inside."

"You're not bad-looking yourself," you reply, nudging Kumarama with your foot. "_objectively,_ of course."

The bear gets to his feet and follows you and Gilbert as you walk back to the church, hand-in-hand.

* * *

**If you don't know this song, go youtube it.**

**I'm thinking two more chapters left of this story... possibly three.**


	30. Here Comes The Sun

**Be Mathias ==**

You are now, finally, the Dane, five days after you turned human again.

You, Feliciano, Ludwig and some kid called Peter are standing outside of the old theater where you once lived. Lovino decided to stay with Antonio, who is helping Gilbert and Francis contact another large colony of people in Europe.

You're trying to work up the nerve to knock.

"Don't worry, Mathias!" Feli says. "I'm sure he won't hurt you _too_ badly!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." you reply, rolling your eyes.

"If you're not gonna do it, then I am!" Peter announces, marching right up to the door and pounding on it eagerly. "Papa! Mama!" he calls. "It's me!"

Hanatamago yips in affirmation.

You hear several noises behind the door, like people tripping over each other in a hurry to get somewhere.

"That was Peter!" one voice exclaims.

"It c'ld b' a trap." a familiar voice replies.

"Well, _I'm_ not answering it." a _very _familiar voice says. "Not after last time."

"It could be him, though!" the first voice says. "If I can suddenly and inexplicably turn human, then anyone can!"

"That's Tino!" Feli says. "Guys, it's really us!" he calls. "We managed to turn the head vampire human!"

"It sounds too Good to be true." Lukas says darkly. "Go ahead and answer it if you want, but don't get your hopes up."

"Make up your minds already!" Peter shouts.

The door flies open to reveal a kind-looking blond man who gasps and then sweeps Peter into a hug.

"You're alright!" Tino exclaims, tears running down his cheeks. "You're alright!"

"Of course I am!" Peter says, trying to push away. "Aren't you going to say hello to Hanatamago, too?"

While this is happening, someone else appears in the doorway. Feliciano pushes ahead of you to join in the hug fest, so Berwald doesn't see you at first.

You and Ludwig both hang back a bit, feeling a tad out-of-place.

After Berwald hugs Peter, he finally notices you.

"Oh yeah, did I mention that Mathias is alive?" Feliciano asks. "He was a vampire but now he's not as I'm sure you've noticed! Also Lovi is alive, too! He was a zombie but now he isn't and he's in New York City right now."

**Be eloquent ==**

**Be awkward ==**

"Er... hi." you say, grinning sheepishly and raising a hand.

It's Tino who breaks the ice.

"It's very nice to meet you properly!" he says kindly, shaking your hand. "I'm Tino! I've heard a lot about you, Mathias."

"Feli's told me a bit about you, too." you reply, feeling a bit more confident. You turn to the Swede. "Berwald, you lucky guy! He's gorgeous!"

Tino blushes and Berwald looks a bit proud. He walks over to you and you hold out your hand.

"Listen, I know we've had our rough patches..." you say awkwardly. "But it would be nice if we could put that behind us, and-"

You can't say much more because Berwald suddenly hugs you, leaving you astonished. After he pulls away, you can't do much more than gape at him.

"You... you..."

"It's gr't t' see y' again." Berwald says.

"It's great to be here." you reply, suddenly feeling like you might cry.

But there's still something missing...

"Lukas!" Feli cries, making you look up. "I actually made it back alive and this is the werewolf who saved my life, Ludwig! Ludwig, this is Lukas! He didn't believe me when I said that my life was saved by a werewolf but here you are so ha! Oh my gosh I have such a story to tell! Even better than that one you told me about Thor having to dress up as a bride!"

The Norwegian is standing in the doorway, probably having finally come out to see what all the fuss is about. He looks even paler than when you last saw him, and his face is thinner; and his eyes are colder; but he is still the most gorgeous person in the world and you feel a lump in your throat and an ache in your chest at the reminder of how much he probably hates you right now, despite what Feli says.

Lukas stares at you, an unreadable expression on his face. He ignores Feli and Peter and everybody else, and slowly walks over to you. You're not quite sure what to expect, but maybe, just maybe, he missed you as much as you missed him...?

He stops just a few paces away from you, still looking like he can't quite believe his eyes.

After the positive reactions you got from both Berwald and Tino, you feel just a bit more confident, so you smile at him.

"Hi..." you say.

And that's when he punches you.

"Ow! Ah man, I almost forgot what pain felt like..." you say, rubbing your cheek.

"Where the _fuck_ have you been?" Lukas growls.

"Uh... dead?" you say. "It's a long story..."

Lukas grabs your collar, pulling you down to his level.

"Do you have _any_ idea what I've been through?" he hisses. "Of what I've lost?"

"H-hey, I've been through some stuff as well..."

"How dare you come crawling back here, acting as if you never left? As if everything is fine and dandy?" You've never seen Lukas display emotions like this before, and it's slightly disconcerting. Despite his tough talk, however, there are tears pooling in his eyes and his expression is distraught. "Do you even _care?_"

"Of course I do!" you exclaim, putting your hands on his shoulders, which are shaking. "Listen, it really is a long story, and I can't put past wrongs right, but I really do care. In fact, if anyone should be questioning whether the other cares, it's me."

Lukas looks stricken.

"I..."

"It was pretty hard on me, too." you say. "Wondering if you even missed me..."

Lukas looks like he might punch you again, but then he sighs and you get your second shock of the day as he steps forward and hugs you.

"Every. Single. Day." Lukas says quietly. "I thought... well, you were dead, as far as we knew..."

"And I kinda was!" you say, pulling away a bit so you can smile at him. "But that's then and this is now. What's say we put all that behind us, hmm?"

Lukas almost smiles.

"I'd like that."

**Go for it, man ==**

Tentatively, you press a kiss to his forehead.

You draw back hastily, expecting to get slapped or something.

Lukas looks a little shell-shocked and stares at you for a moment. Then his smile reappears and fights its way back onto his face. Before you can comment on that, however, he grabs you by the collar(again) and kisses you.

You take a moment to fully register this miracle of MiRaClEs as you close your eyes and pull him closer.

After the two of you break apart, you spend a moment smiling at each other like lovesick idiots before you notice something.

"Where did everybody else go?" you ask. Sure enough, all your friends and acquaintances have left.

"Inside." Lukas shrugs.

"We should go, too! I don't want them starting the story without us!" you say, grabbing his hand and leading him inside.

"Idiot..." Lukas says warmly. "It's Good to have you back."

* * *

**Here Comes The Sun is by The Beatles.**

**My apologies for the lateness of this chapter! I was sick all week and also I had Music Man rehearsals.**

**This is the penultimate chapter!**


	31. Finale

**Be Feliciano ==**

It's been two weeks since you changed the fate of humanity. You're already starting to see automobiles on the road and people starting businesses. You're quite unused to the amount of freedom that this has caused, and Lukas had to remind you that you're allowed to go outside whenever you want.

Some genius got the phone lines working again, so you've been in contact with Lovi and Antonio. No one seems to know what happened to Kiku and Heracles, but you have your suspicions. Gilbert and Matthew are working on talking some sense into the more feral werecreatures and Yao is gathering sorcerers. A few other people are going around, helping ghosts finish whatever business they have left on earth.

All is calm.

You are leaning against the railing outside the theater, watching the sunrise. You've just had a very filling breakfast and are feeling pretty damn content.

Well, _mostly_ content.

It's a bit lonely out here by yourself, after all.

"Feli?"

You jump and turn to see Ludwig. You smile warmly.

"Ciao, Ludwig! Isn't it a lovely evening? I haven't seen a sunrise so pretty in years! Well, I've been inside for most of my life, but still! Isn't it enchanting?"

"It's very pretty." Ludwig agrees, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "It's wonderful to see the world at peace, don't you think?"

"I'm sure it won't last..." you sigh.

"Then we'd best enjoy it while it's here." he replies. You smile and rest your head on his shoulder.

A rare moment of quiet passes, and you can't remember ever being this warm and comfortable before.

"Ludwig?" you ask.

"Ja?"

"What do we do next?"

The German man is quiet for a moment, and you wait for him to answer.

"What do you _want_ to do?" he asks.

**What do? ==**

"Well gee, I've never really thought about that before!" you say. "Huh... I guess... I'd like to go to Italy. And Germany, too! And Britain and France and Norway and Japan... I'd like to see the world!"

"Then we can do that." Ludwig tells you. "Pretty soon, they'll have the boats running again, and maybe even airplanes in a couple of months."

"I've never been on a boat before!" you say excitedly. "At least, as far as I can remember... I have no idea how I got to here from Italy! Ooh, maybe I can ask grandpa!"

Ludwig glances away.

"Er, Feliciano..."

"What?"

"I don't know how to put this..." he says awkwardly. "But... before I was kidnapped, I saw the... the ghost of your grandfather."

You blink.

"Oh."

"He came to see you and Lovino one last time before he moved on to the afterlife... apparently, my grandfather came for just the same reason, but he was gone by the time I woke up. I'm very sorry, Feliciano."

"Don't be sorry, Ludwig." you tell him. "It wasn't your fault. And I'm glad that he got to move on! I bet he's happy with grandma up in heaven and your grandpa, too! Same with that ghost boy Jia-Long was talking about, and Gilbert's bird as well! They're probably all happy that we got this silly ordeal all sorted out~"

Ludwig smiles, pulling you closer.

"You're right."

"Aren't I always?"

Ludwig almost laughs.

"Ja."

You two stand there for a while longer, enjoying the warmth of the morning sun and each other.

"And..." you say. "After we travel the world... I'd like to start a theater troupe. I don't know much about what goes on backstage, but maybe Tino could help me... and you could be in charge of sets, Ludwig! And that Swiss guy could be in charge of the money... and Arthur could make sure everything's going smoothly... and Francis could prepare snacks..."

"And what would you do?" Ludwig asks.

"I would play the lead romantic role, of course!" you say. "I'm Italian, it's basically mandatory!"

"Of course it is." Ludwig says, rolling his eyes.

The year is 1938. Humans are now the dominant species. Witches work with them as business partners and friends. Werewolves and former zombies roam the streets in harmony, building lives wherever they can.

Of course, this is all thanks to you.

_Well, not _just_ me!_

Hush, my friend. I'm telling the audience of how you changed the world. It would be nice if you didn't interrupt.

_Alright!_

What a sweetheart~

Your name is Feliciano Vargas, and you've made many friends. You have a grandfather somewhere in heaven, and you know you'll see him again someday. Your brother is happy, your adopted family is happy, you're happy, and quite grateful for your savior.

* * *

**And they all lived happily ever after - except evil Mr. Ivan, who was forced to marry against his will.**

**Keep an eye out for previews for future stories and maybe even a contest!**


	32. Preview

Lights up on a colorful talk show stage. Two people are sitting in comfortable armchairs, one of them with her (filthy)feet up on the coffee table.

"So miss Goblin," the better-looking of the two begins. "I understand that you have prepared a clip showcasing your upcoming story, which I see you have chosen to leave me out of."

"Yes indeed, Mr. Narrator!" says the (annoying)girl. "But don't worry, you'll get big parts in whatever Homestuck fics I may write~"

"You and I both know that ninety percent of your readers don't read Homestuck." the witty and charming Narrator says.

The girl sighs melodramatically.

"It's because they're biased Hetalia fans."

"You're a Hetalia fan, too." the smart Narrator points out, since the girl has probably forgotten.

"Shush. As I was saying, I have many wonderful stories for my readers to look forward to! Some will take quite a while before they're ready to be published, but they will certainly be worth the wait! I've got two Sherlock fics in the making, two Homestuck fics and _several_ Hetalia stories. The one I'm featuring tonight is, well, we'll just have to play the clip and see!"

**Play the clip ==**

The clip is actually another one of Goblin's stupid trailers.

**Play it anyway ==**

_All good things must come to an end._

_The mediocre things? They can go on forever._

_But the REALLY bad things always come in threes._

_Sometimes._

_Once in a while._

_It happens, alright?_

_Where was I?_

_Oh yes._

_In the most chilling installment yet of the Bitten Saga, our heroes lives are at stake._

_Also their lunches._

_Starring..._

_FINLAND as Princess Tino Icantspellhislastname_

_SWEDEN as The Dread Pirate Alsocantspellhislastname_

_POLAND as Demon #1_

_LITHUANIA as Angel #4_

_RUSSIA as Ivan Humperdink_

_SPAIN as Antonio Montoya. You killed my lover. Prepare to die._

_And BRITAIN as Miracle Arthur._

_**Frostbite**_

_The Final Curtain_

"So..." says the Narrator, raising an eyebrow.

"Cool, huh? I made it myself!" the girl says proudly. "Of course, the background music needs work..."

"Yes. I do not think 'Yellow Submarine' is entirely appropriate." replies the eloquent Narrator.

"No, it's perfectly fine! I just want to figure out how to make the chorus repeat over and over again!" says the aesthetically displeasing girl.

"... uh-huh. Anyway, are you sure about a third installment to your series? The saying goes 'quit while you're ahead', after all." the Narrator thoughtfully reminds her.

"I just felt that the previous one ended a bit anticlimactically!" the girl says. "Sweden was dead, after all!"

"_Was?_" asks the Narrator.

"Was." replies the smug girl.

"Do you think a Princess Bride parody is really the right way to go?" the wise Narrator asks.

"Yes." says the girl. "Definitely. I expect that this will be the best installment yet."

"And does it bother you that bringing characters back to life is a terribly cliché move?"

"Who said anything about bringing characters back to like?" the girl asks hurriedly. "I sure as hell didn't. I'm not some _lame_ writer who never leaves things be. No siree!

"... uh-huh."

"Anyway, on a totally unrelated-yet-still-relevant subject, I've decided to hold an art contest to promote my story!" the girl announces, recovering quickly. "The winner will receive the honor of having their piece used as the cover for my story! Also maybe a free one-shot of any pairing that can be found within Bitten or Abyssinia. I'll write for almost any setting, though.

"The art doesn't necessarily have to be _good,_ it just needs to stand out, catch my eye or make me laugh." the girl continues, shamelessly self-promoting. "Also, it will need to be relevant to the story. A black background will fit the theme nicely, but it's not enforced."

"So this is just a silly excuse to get fanart?" the Narrator asks. "Shame on you, Goblin."

"Whaaat? I'm just too lazy to come up with another cover! Why not let the fans do it?" the girl drawls. "I don't care if it's stick figures or what! Draw freakin' Shinatty-chan, if you want!"

"So what exactly would people have to draw for their art to be considered relevant?" the Narrator asks.

"Well, this story might include mummies, devils, angels, Polar Bears Of Unusual Size, a giant black dragon, an engagement ring, twue wuv, Finland, tomatoes... all of the above..."

"Sounds like a catastrophe waiting to happen."

The girl shrugs.

"I hope so!" she says before turning to the camera. "Oh, and PM your entries to me! I'll create a list of each one I receive no matter how relevant they are. Extra points for puns!"

"And I can see that we're done here. No more sugar for you." the Narrator says, getting to his feet.

"Fuck you." the girl replies.

* * *

**Yes, I'm having a contest.**

**It'll end when I post the first chapter of Frostbite, which will be in a month or so. The winner shall be announced there, along with a link to a list of all the entries I may receive.**

**For the prize, I'll write nearly anything, really. Just a warning: most of my angst/drama usually ends up funny.**


End file.
